so my world burst!!!

[Dhar_2]

I havent been too present in the last week, not that many of you will have noticed. Partly because i have been in LA, but more so because my girlfriend has left me.

as we have all been through this i figured i'd see what people had to say.

of course i'm expecting the usually 'keep your chin up' and 'that sucks'

the thing which i am finding more confusing than anything, was that this was different. Different in the sense that i seriously believed she was the one. Yes we had our problems, and recently due to external factors on both sides, we had been struggling. but i never, ever thought it would end. we love each other and i always though that we would get through it.

So anyway, she goes home for the weekend, and comes back saying she cant do this anymore. that she's hurting me and i'm hurting her. this all the day before valentines day and before i leave for LA. obviously during my work tip i was a mess. normally i could accept it. but we both still love each other. and even though things have been difficult, i never saw it as a solution. if we both love each other, and care for each other, why cant we stay together? it just doesnt seem right.

it makes no sense. why is that the things in life that you value the most are the things that you always end up losing???

i guess this is where the discussion starts.

[Kamal]

Re: so my world burst!!!

it all bottles down to how truly both sides want it to work out. I've learnt over time that in every relation, one person is loving and willing to do more than the other, that's where the motherload hits. If you love someone.... set them free.... you know the saying and yea I truly truly believe in that.

Give her time to come around and be there for her when she needs it despite the falling out, things may just turn around. But at the same time, showing her you're a mess at this stage wont make it any easier for you. All she needs right now is someone who can make her see things differently and the unfortunate truth of the situation is that you're position makes it hard for you to be that someone.

Good luck to you mate, really hope things work out for you.

[KinKyJ]

Re: so my world burst!!!

I agree with Kamal. It's indeed best to give her some space and time at this point. Showing how fucked up you are will only hurt you in the end. If you get her to talk it over out of pitty, you'll get slapped in the face because probably her reaction will be: "See? This relationship is hurting the both of us."

Hang in there bud, everything happens for a reason and the deeper pain carves into your soul, the more joy it will be able to hold in those carves afterwards.

[AndyH]

Re: so my world burst!!!

it makes no sense. why is that the things in life that you value the most are the things that you always end up losing???

Perhaps it is just that life is fluid and constantly changing and all 'things' in our lives inevitably come and go. It is just the things that are most valued to us which hurt the most..

Am really sorry for you buddy, I hope things work out for the best - whatever that may be.. If it helps at all, this period right now will be the toughest for you and can only improve..

[Mr.Big]

Re: so my world burst!!!

I guess you know urself that what ever anyone says to you its just not goin be enough. The advice people give you is only good if you take it. I dunno man it is a shitty situation and i like urself have been there. Sure i still think about the 'one' which ended 6 years ago but i think about her in a different way. Its too early to be talking about forgeting her but all ill say is sorry to hear that and better now than when ur married with kids.

sorry dude.

[Lorn]

Re: so my world burst!!!

The world is going to pots...imo. Sorry for the problems man. Everyone has them...no one is immune. A commitment to life is all you really can struggle with.

[jay813]

Re: so my world burst!!!

the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

[maddlingo]

Re: so my world burst!!!

I think time apart is the best thing for the both of you right now. If it's meant to be then you'll end up getting back together again.

[RiseandShine]

Re: so my world burst!!!

Agree with most of the stuff and am sorry.

I think what's importantnis that there isn't only one person for you out there; there are many. You just need to find one at the correct moment - and I've been through situation in which we both loved each other but it just didn't work out. I guess one of us didn't reall really want it and was letting outside reasons get in the way.

if it can help: better to realize that you weren't really meant to be now than later - and if it does work out, it will be a nice test and grow your relationship stronger.

Anyways, good luck - hang in there

[Miguel]

Re: so my world burst!!!

make short term projects .. keep yourself busy ... come to WMC !!! that will clear your head for real !

[floridaorange]

Re: so my world burst!!!

it all bottles down to how truly both sides want it to work out. I've learnt over time that in every relation, one person is loving and willing to do more than the other, that's where the motherload hits. If you love someone.... set them free.... you know the saying and yea I truly truly believe in that.

Give her time to come around and be there for her when she needs it despite the falling out, things may just turn around. But at the same time, showing her you're a mess at this stage wont make it any easier for you. All she needs right now is someone who can make her see things differently and the unfortunate truth of the situation is that you're position makes it hard for you to be that someone.

Good luck to you mate, really hope things work out for you.

This is great advice.

[Yao]

Re: so my world burst!!!

Sorry to hear that Dhar, I guess what Kamal said makes good sense but in the end it doesn't really matter what anyone says right now; you'll probably see the wisdom of the words but all your heart can say is that you want to be with her, hold her, make love and all the things that lovers do. Being apart is not one of them.

There is what Andy mentioned though, and you might want to think of that later when either things are good again or when you've moved on and have peace at heart: life is something fluid, everchanging. It's something I've come to really learn in the relative short period of the last few years. Joy doesn't last, love doesn't last, but neither does pain. It goes, and there will be something new, something good waiting out there for you to be recognized, accepted, enjoyed. And as Kinky said: pain also makes you learn to enjoy tje good periods a little more each time it has passed.

Believe me...I actually just wrote a letter, before I read this message, to the most special woman I've ever met that I don't want to see her anymore for a while. I'll spare you the details, but I damn sure know how you feel mate. Hang in there, keep your chin up. And reread all these posts when you're ready for it.

[Morgan]

Re: so my world burst!!!

Grit your teeth, keep yourself busy, don;t mope. Time is the only thing that can help you now. Also go with your instinicts over the next few weeks.

[Miguel]

Re: so my world burst!!!

actually spending a lot of time here on [ms] talking nonsense and shit has really worked for me ...

[RiseandShine]

Re: so my world burst!!!

try to beat me at othello, eskiv, yahtzee or rong 2