Can anyone tell me how

[phuck'm-up]

Can you tell me how to get over years of failure. Or how to overcome the lack of motivation that comes from it because i can't seem to let shit go. The door is open right in front of me but I can't fit through the entrance with this damn bag I am carrying. Maybe some of you has some things i need to hear.

[DIDI]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

You are brave enough to come here and ask, that is one step .

[tiddles]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

a wise australian man once told me:

"Don't be a pussy. Be a hard cunt. Don't you like to get your balls wet?"

words to live by.

[floridaorange]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Step outside your comfort zones and change everything, one day at a time. Use the pain as your motivation to change. Find people in history or living who have written books who have overcome great obstacles in life, read them. Follow the paths of people you look up to and respect. Take excellent care of your mind, body and soul, nobody else is going to for you.

[Haziel]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Question to the OP ... r u suffering from a chronic depression ? Is that what you feel?

[feather]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Getting over failures—just got to keep your goal in mind and stick with it. I think we go into endeavours with an expected outcome in mind, and when there is dissonance, we write it off as a fail. But keeping an open mind, there're generally stuff to be learnt, unexpected and maybe unwanted. (Speaking from my own recent fucked up Chinese experience.)

Which leads to the next issue with motivation. Just keep at it, what else can you do? Give up? That's when you really fail. Again drawing on that Chinese experience, I had a decent job and good living in Sydney but when China came up, I thought what the hell, if I don't do it now, I never will. (And to Florida's point getting out of comfort zone) So I did. And then it sucked, I stuck it out for as long as possible, then I quit. But I made some contacts, I have a strong lead for a new job, and soon I'm off to a different city to follow up.

And that might suck. Nothing might come through and I might have to (touch wood) go through the whole job hunting process in a foreign city. In a shittier economy. That's not going to be fun. And I've already moved countries and did the whole job hunt thing before and it was depressing as fuck so I kinda know what to expect and can only hope it won't be worse.

But what else can I (or you) do really, besides keeping at it?

Just keep a goal or bigger picture in mind. I find it increasingly hard to make long term plans but I always try to work with a 5-yr plan. The day-to-day, the setbacks, or the steps forward, it's easy to get caught up in the minutiae, and of course a lot of us procrastinate. Right now I should be updating my portfolio but here I am procrastinating

But if we keep at it, more often than not, we'll be surprised at where we are now compared to 3, 2, or even 1 year ago.

[nick007]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Cant you open the door with your foot?

[thebanned1]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Can you tell me how to get over years of failure. Or how to overcome the lack of motivation that comes from it because i can't seem to let shit go. The door is open right in front of me but I can't fit through the entrance with this damn bag I am carrying. Maybe some of you has some things i need to hear.

some people just don't realise just how lucky they are or how privileged they are compared with others, a good start is actually seeing what is all around you

[DIDI]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Just because others are worse off doesn't make the pain any less .

[Illuminate]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein

It may be hard at first, but no matter the obstacle, what has happened has happened, nothing can or will change it. Turn the page, find something in you and drive on, and as Florida says keep your mind, body, and soul as one.

Everyone's been through it, pain, suffering, disillusion, and a constant regret of the cloud which does not stop raining over you, But there is something deep in all of us which can lead to a change. Start with small distractions and lead to bigger ones. Occupancy is the biggest winner to fight procrastination.
I find something simple as reading a book to just take things off my mind.

[diegoff]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

change your context. It´s the only thing you can "directly" go and change. it´s a hard but perfect start.

[Shpira]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

turn sadness into anger, direct that anger into something positive and change your life.
One thing that I always keep in mind is that no matter how hard life gets, no matter how bad the cards dealt are, no matter if everything fucks up....if you try, hard, you can at least make it all a little better.
Another thing that i highly recommend is self discovery...you need to be a tough SOB but seclusion with ones thoughts so as to evaluate ones personality and actions can do wonders...makes you tougher not dependant on anyone and self motivated for the goal YOU want.
Keep your head up dude! I know it can get tough...but it goes in cycles...you need to get on the right track and then everything will click into place...you just need to figure out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy...and then go for it like a mentalist.

[DancingQueen]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Asking for help is a big step in the right direction.

At some point in everyone's life there comes a point where they feel lost, stuck, or alone. Please remember you are never alone, and that even when things seem bleak, they will get better over time. I know this is hard to believe, but I promise you it is true. A few years ago I was at a point in my life where I didn't feel anything could get better. I felt like my world was falling apart, but you know what, it didn't. I made some changes (moved back to my home town and got a new job) and now 3 years later, I have never been happier.

For some, leaning on close friends and family does wonders. There are always people who care about you, so use them to lean on and help with the burden...even when you don't think there are people in your life that care, I promise you there are so never give up!

For others, focusing their energy on something they love to do helps. For me, I focused on my photography.....it gave my mind a distraction, if only for a few minutes. If you add a few minutes a day of positive energy in your life, you will slowly start to feel better. If you don't have anything you love to do, try some new things like others have mentioned. If there is something you have always thought of doing (taking a course/class, learning a sport or how to play an instrument), but never had the courage to do so, step out of your comfort zone and give it a try.

Stay strong *hug*

[dusk]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

Awww man, I'm so very sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time, my heart goes out to you mate. Stay strong and think positive thoughts, I know that it is rough out there. when I'm down and out, I try to get an attitude of gratitude and sometimes, just sometimes that helps.

[sbando]

Re: Can anyone tell me how

There's a guy I know (hint), who's living all that and some more, sense of failure, all self-esteem gone, addiction to sleeping pills, then depression and then business going down the drain.
There is no solution unless you re-invent your own life, no one's gonna fix it for you and from a certain age on time will fly faster and you will miss the good things you still had when you first cried "rock bottom".