Five stages of drunkenness

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  • mixmaster
    Getting warmed up
    • Jun 2004
    • 53

    Five stages of drunkenness

    Five stages of drunkenness


    Stage 1 - SMART- This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.




    Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING- This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
    Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.



    Stage 3 - RICH- This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.



    Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF- You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!



    Stage 5 - INVISIBLE- This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
    At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

    Pretty women make us buy beer,
    Ugly women make us drink beer!
  • DreamGirlie
    Platinum Poster
    • Jun 2004
    • 2137

    #2
    lol.
    "Welcome to Hezbollah phone line, for terrorist supplies press 1."

    Comment

    • Sablet
      Getting warmed up
      • Jun 2004
      • 99

      #3
      im on

      hehe i kinda love lvl 5

      Comment

      • chato
        Gold Gabber
        • Jun 2004
        • 815

        #4


        I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet
        ...enjoy every single second

        Comment

        • picklemonkey
          Double hoodie beer monster
          • Jun 2004
          • 15373

          #5
          Originally posted by chato


          I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet
          I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night.

          Comment

          • MJDub
            Are you Kidding me??
            • Jun 2004
            • 2765

            #6
            I'm the smartest fucker you'll ever know.
            http://www.myspace.com/mjdubmusic

            You can't have manslaughter without laughter.

            "Son," he said without preamble, "never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."

            Comment

            • johnson3161
              Getting Somewhere
              • Jun 2004
              • 195

              #7
              I always like to become invisible.

              Comment

              • diskofreak
                Gold Gabber
                • Jun 2004
                • 648

                #8
                i used to have a best friend that would go through all the stages,
                sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar
                we don't hang out anymore

                Comment

                • lilsensa
                  DUDERZ get a life!!!
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 6675

                  #9
                  Originally posted by picklemonkey
                  Originally posted by chato


                  I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet
                  I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night.
                  hell yeah, my brothers wedding was last night, and everybody in the club got typsy.....shit was sooo damn funny..
                  RIP ~ Steve James







                  Comment

                  • Pebbles
                    Getting Somewhere
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 101

                    #10
                    Originally posted by diskk
                    sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar
                    we don't hang out anymore


                    I can see why you don't hang out anymore, lol!!

                    Comment

                    • lmmadic
                      Gold Gabber
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 746

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Pebbles
                      Originally posted by diskk
                      sometimes he'd get soo drunk he'd drop his pants, in the bar
                      we don't hang out anymore


                      I can see why you don't hang out anymore, lol!!
                      i hope something else wasn't hanging out tho
                      sigpic

                      Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. Edward Everett

                      Comment

                      • konfussion
                        Getting Somewhere
                        • Jun 2004
                        • 167

                        #12
                        Originally posted by picklemonkey
                        Originally posted by chato


                        I just hate level 3... you wake up next morning with no money at all in your wallet
                        I went to a wedding reception last night and drank myself stupid. I woke up this morning, went to get some food, and noticed that I was missing $100. I was freaking out for a few minutes before I realized I let a buddy borrow it last night.
                        Hey, at least you remebered where it went. It's much worse when you think it fell out of your wallet or something. For me losing $100 is a big hit. Had this happen on my last birthday and still don't know if I spent it or lost it

                        Comment

                        • lmmadic
                          Gold Gabber
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 746

                          #13
                          and how about those blackouts
                          i seem to have that alot. people tell me stuff afterwards that i totally don't remember.
                          my last blackout happend after 2 cocktails, and about 10 beers and some vodka. i haven't drunk in ages so i was pretty wasted.
                          well anyways i went to a friends house to chrash over there.
                          the guy had some weed but he can't rolle (sp?), well apparantly i've rolled a joint smoke half of it and then i felt asleep in his livingroom.
                          i remember him talking about the weed in the pub but i've quit months ago so i wasn't interrested.
                          but when i woke up and he told me i rolled and smoked i couldend believe it, untill i saw the joint in his ashtray.
                          this girl i know kissed me in the pub the same night, couldn't remember that either i wish i did remember that part, she's f'ing hot.
                          sigpic

                          Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. Edward Everett

                          Comment

                          • brakada
                            Gold Gabber
                            • Jun 2004
                            • 622

                            #14
                            what about

                            Stage 6: empty head, headache, stomachache, throwing up and feeling like shit for the next (couple of) day(s).

                            Damn, that's the stage I definitely hate the most... :wink:
                            We shall boldly dance, where no man has danced before..."

                            Comment

                            • Kinetic
                              Platinum Poster
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 2227

                              #15
                              It?s funny because it?s true!

                              Yeah, I?ve gone through those stages, though not always by that same order.

                              I actually try to live as much of my time as possible on stage 1...

                              A few years ago, I drank a few whiskeys (2) before one of my final exams. Well, I scored 100 percent, so it?s not that impossible to call stage 1 the SMART stage.

                              The problem is that you never understand when you move up a stage.
                              "I play music at people" - Surgeon

                              http://soundcloud.com/kineticdj
                              http://djkinetic.official.fm

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