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Kelly: the unwanted third man ended up tickling Al's scrotum. He wasn't compensated.
:ROFLMAO:
Wouldn?t it be great if your girlfriend wanted to arrange a threesome for your birthday? That?s precisely what Amy Anderson thought as she placed a personal ad on lavalife.com. ?I wanted to give him the best birthday ever, so I explained what I was looking for in the ad: sexy, no strings and eager to please me and my boyfriend. Al had been begging me to let one of my friend?s romp with us, but it didn?t feel right. I wanted a complete stranger.?
That complete stranger, however, didn?t quite turn out as expected. ?I got several emails, but the one that sounded best was from ?Kelly?. In the email, Kelly said she would serve us as we pleased and sit out on the sidelines and coo encouraging words into our ears if we wanted.?
Amy, with little time to plan her boyfriend?s 25th birthday celebration, gave Kelly the buzzer code and left the door unlocked on the big day. ?I had told Kelly to be here for 7, as I expected Al to be home shortly after and I wanted him to see us in the act, surprising him.?
Surprising Al would be an understatement. At precisely five minutes to seven, the door opened and in walked Kelly. ?I was lying on the couch naked, spread eagle style like I said I would be in my email to Kelly. Then the door opens and in walks an ungroomed, fat slob of a man. ?Hi, Kelly here? he says. Then it dawned on me that Kelly was a man!?
Kelly Threesome
What proceeded in the next 90 seconds will forever stain Amy?s memory. Kelly immediately disrobed, sat on Amy?s chest and proceeded to shake hands with the minister of love. ?He just ripped off his clothes and sat his fat ass on my chest! I was gasping for deal life, if he wasn?t such a premature ejaculator, I?d be dead. The tithead didn?t even warn me when he splooged on my face.? And then, all hell broke loose.
Amy?s boyfriend, Al, walked in, shocked to find a beer-bellied dishevelled man sitting on his girlfriend?s chest jacking off on her face. ?I was going to kill him, if I?d been packing I?d of put three in his dome,? Al fumes. ?When Amy caught her breath, she explained the entire situation and took off my clothes, but it was rather awkward. It?s hard to do wood with a fat Dorito-eating moron yelling ?atta boy champ? every second.?
Amy agrees it was rather awkward. ?Once we calmed Al down, he started to get excited about me wanting a threesome. And then he realised that Kelly was still here. To be fair, Kelly did do what he promised; he was obedient, if not a little overeager (in more than one way). He was trying to whisper encouraging words, but his mouth was full of chips and they kind of sprayed on me and Al while he was radging me. And just when it seemed that Al was moving nicely inside me, Kelly would holler some football slogan and Al would go limp on me. Kelly would tickle his scrotum trying to get Al hard, but it wouldn?t work. So Al put his clothes on and Kelly turned on the sports channel. You could say my boyfriend?s birthday was ruined at that point.?
Kelly has a different view of the events. ?This girl is insane,? Kelly fumes. ?She clearly states in her email that she wants me to come over and to be aggressive right away, to overcome her shyness. And that?s what I did, she didn?t seem to keen on opening up her gap so I wanked off on her chest. Admittedly, I should have probably waited for birthday boy before the grand finale, but I got excited. I?m sorry. But I did try to get them both turned on afterwards, I even tickled the guy?s giggleberries for Christ?s? sake, and I?m not even gay! I only agreed to it coz? I haven?t been laid proper in about six years.?
The event left a lasting impression on all parties involved, and reminds us all that when setting up for a threesome on the ?net, get pictures first.
That complete stranger, however, didn?t quite turn out as expected. ?I got several emails, but the one that sounded best was from ?Kelly?. In the email, Kelly said she would serve us as we pleased and sit out on the sidelines and coo encouraging words into our ears if we wanted.?
Amy, with little time to plan her boyfriend?s 25th birthday celebration, gave Kelly the buzzer code and left the door unlocked on the big day. ?I had told Kelly to be here for 7, as I expected Al to be home shortly after and I wanted him to see us in the act, surprising him.?
Surprising Al would be an understatement. At precisely five minutes to seven, the door opened and in walked Kelly. ?I was lying on the couch naked, spread eagle style like I said I would be in my email to Kelly. Then the door opens and in walks an ungroomed, fat slob of a man. ?Hi, Kelly here? he says. Then it dawned on me that Kelly was a man!?
Kelly Threesome
What proceeded in the next 90 seconds will forever stain Amy?s memory. Kelly immediately disrobed, sat on Amy?s chest and proceeded to shake hands with the minister of love. ?He just ripped off his clothes and sat his fat ass on my chest! I was gasping for deal life, if he wasn?t such a premature ejaculator, I?d be dead. The tithead didn?t even warn me when he splooged on my face.? And then, all hell broke loose.
Amy?s boyfriend, Al, walked in, shocked to find a beer-bellied dishevelled man sitting on his girlfriend?s chest jacking off on her face. ?I was going to kill him, if I?d been packing I?d of put three in his dome,? Al fumes. ?When Amy caught her breath, she explained the entire situation and took off my clothes, but it was rather awkward. It?s hard to do wood with a fat Dorito-eating moron yelling ?atta boy champ? every second.?
Amy agrees it was rather awkward. ?Once we calmed Al down, he started to get excited about me wanting a threesome. And then he realised that Kelly was still here. To be fair, Kelly did do what he promised; he was obedient, if not a little overeager (in more than one way). He was trying to whisper encouraging words, but his mouth was full of chips and they kind of sprayed on me and Al while he was radging me. And just when it seemed that Al was moving nicely inside me, Kelly would holler some football slogan and Al would go limp on me. Kelly would tickle his scrotum trying to get Al hard, but it wouldn?t work. So Al put his clothes on and Kelly turned on the sports channel. You could say my boyfriend?s birthday was ruined at that point.?
Kelly has a different view of the events. ?This girl is insane,? Kelly fumes. ?She clearly states in her email that she wants me to come over and to be aggressive right away, to overcome her shyness. And that?s what I did, she didn?t seem to keen on opening up her gap so I wanked off on her chest. Admittedly, I should have probably waited for birthday boy before the grand finale, but I got excited. I?m sorry. But I did try to get them both turned on afterwards, I even tickled the guy?s giggleberries for Christ?s? sake, and I?m not even gay! I only agreed to it coz? I haven?t been laid proper in about six years.?
The event left a lasting impression on all parties involved, and reminds us all that when setting up for a threesome on the ?net, get pictures first.
Kelly: the unwanted third man ended up tickling Al's scrotum. He wasn't compensated.
')
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