The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
I've got one I'm particularly proud of that I'll share for your reading pleasure. Unfortunately, no photo, so you'll have to do with the description.
I'm at home one Saturday after after quite a breakfast and I realize that I've got to make a lumpy. Anyway, I sit down on the throne with a good book and proceed to start work on my masterpiece. What happened next both surprised me and makes me proud.
Unlike your garden-variety turds, this thing came out with a head of steam (if you'll pardon the pun) and landed in the toilet with what can only fairly be described as a thud. After regaining my bearings, I decided that I ought to check and make sure everything was OK. I check down in the toilet, and there is a thick plug of dung sitting in the bottom that was akin to what you might see sitting in the pony ride at the state fair. Seriously, you couldn't even see the water anymore.
I became concerned that if I were to add anything more to the mix, whether it be the conclusion of the actual shitting process or, heaven forbid, any paper products of any sort, the toilet would not be able to handle it. I decided the best course of action was to go ahead and flush the toilet right then to clear the way for more before I continued. I did just that.
Or, at least, I tried to flush the toilet. The missing water appeared and slowly rose towards the top of the bowl. It looked like it was making an attempt to swirl and flush, but the mighty pile of butt mud would not move. Unbelievable as it may seem, I had managed to clog the toilet with poop, and poop alone -- no paper products or anything of the sort. That, my friends, is one dense pile of shit.
Thankfully, I had a second bathroom that I could use to finish the job and clean up. You have not lived until you've simultaneously experienced the humilation of waddling around the house pants with your pants at your ankles and one in the chamber while brimming with pride at the sheer power of your ass. Quite a moment...
For reasons I can't understand, though, my fiance was not near as impressed with my feat as I was. Oh well...
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
Originally posted by toastyYou have not lived until you've simultaneously experienced the humilation of waddling around the house pants with your pants at your ankles and one in the chamber while brimming with pride at the sheer power of your ass. Quite a moment...
For reasons I can't understand, though, my fiance was not near as impressed with my feat as I was. Oh well...
Nice story.Comment
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
Come over to my place, you could easily clog two toilets with what you produce, they're just too old to handle it, lol...
Hilarious story man...did you wipe your ass before stepping out of the first toilet btw? You may have dropped something...Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.
There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -HemingwayComment
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
Originally posted by esefOriginally posted by toastyFor reasons I can't understand, though, my fiance was not near as impressed with my feat as I was. Oh well..."Pain is only weakness leaving the body."Comment
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
To me, it?s funny because it?s true, something like this happened to me, only it was at work...
I clogged the toilet, and left the bathroom ashamed, but proud too. However, I thought it would be wise not to gloat about my feat, and since no one saw me going in or coming out, I kept quiet
Next up was this guy who was more or less famous for smoking a few J?s in the bathroom...boy, that J must?ve smelt like no other he ever had ever smoked before...and good thing for me, he came out of the toilet saying "hey, someone clogged the toilet!", and just as soon as he said it, everyone blamed him.
Anyway, I later heard descriptions of small pieces of turd sliding through the bathroom floor...Comment
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
DUDE!!!
Congrats on that one...Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.
There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -HemingwayComment
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Re: The OFFICIAL Poop Thread.
Originally posted by KineticAnyway, I later heard descriptions of small pieces of turd sliding through the bathroom floor...
another skeleton for the closetComment
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