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Anyone ever try any of these Russell Stover "Net Carb Gummi Bears?" Holyfuckingmoses does those things pack a punch. For those of you unfamiliar with these little treats, they are made with a sugar substitute, the excess consumption of which "may have a laxative effect."
I'm here to tell you that:
1. It does not require "excess consumption" -- I had one small bag, and
2. There is no "may" about it.
I had a little bag of these things after lunch, and I've spent the better part of my afternoon on the throne. After starting things out with a positively epic dump, I've had nothing but the anal equivalent of dry heaves ever since. "Here I sit broken hearted, came to shit but only farted" -- truer words have never been spoken.
Words from the wise -- if you should ever get some of these things, just take a pass. Better yet, skip the middleman (you) and just throw them directly into the toilet.
Gotta run.
I'm here to tell you that:
1. It does not require "excess consumption" -- I had one small bag, and
2. There is no "may" about it.
I had a little bag of these things after lunch, and I've spent the better part of my afternoon on the throne. After starting things out with a positively epic dump, I've had nothing but the anal equivalent of dry heaves ever since. "Here I sit broken hearted, came to shit but only farted" -- truer words have never been spoken.
Words from the wise -- if you should ever get some of these things, just take a pass. Better yet, skip the middleman (you) and just throw them directly into the toilet.
Gotta run.
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