god vs. god MMV

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  • cowardly dj
    ZangerBob
    • Jun 2004
    • 645

    god vs. god MMV

    Since you like my Bible humor so much I thought it appropriate to give you more



    A man was out hunting, and came upon a bear. He shot at the bear, but only nicked him. The bear went after the hunter, and chased him some distance through the woods.
    Finally the man came to the edged of a cliff, and had no where else to run. As he watched the bear approach, he began to pray.
    "Dear God give this bear a touch of religion."
    Suddenly the bear came to an abrupt stop, and looked up toward Heaven and said "Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to eat."


    Abraham announced to Isaac one day that he had decided to upgrade their family computer to Windows 95.
    Isaac said, "But father, we don't have enough memory!" To which Abraham replied, "Don't worry, my son, the Lord will provide the RAM."



    Here are some actual problem sentences found in church and denominational bulletins and/or newsletters

    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

    The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

    This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. proceeds will be used to cripple children.




    Greatly rejoicing in following God as a freedom not a choice.
  • Yao
    DUDERZ get a life!!!
    • Jun 2004
    • 8167

    #2
    Re: miketpoto



    awesome dude...wether religious or not, there are some superfunny ones in there
    Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

    There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

    Comment

    • miketpoto
      Shabisquik The Ghetto Queen
      • Jan 2005
      • 4223

      #3
      Re: miketpoto

      Everything except for the RAM was of amusement to me. Here's something amusing to me too.


      Comment

      • Kamal
        Administrator
        • May 2002
        • 28835

        #4
        Re: miketpoto



        I'm not a christian and even I feel offended by that, to be an atheist is one thing, but to ridicule anothers belief like that is very careless
        www.mjwebhosting.com

        Jib says:
        he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shitting
        Originally posted by ace_dl
        Guys and Gals, I have to hurry/leaving for short-term vacations.
        I won't be back until next Tuesday, so if Get Carter is the correct answer, I would appreciate of someone else posts a new cap for me

        Comment

        • Corven
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Jun 2004
          • 4080

          #5
          Re: miketpoto

          thats just wrong
          I broke my spoon on the viagra sundae.

          Comment

          • Yao
            DUDERZ get a life!!!
            • Jun 2004
            • 8167

            #6
            Re: miketpoto



            Mike, I love it! Humour should be over the edge sometimes guys, it's just a literal interpretation of one the most commonly used swears in English...so what?

            pssshhhtt...
            Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

            There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

            Comment

            • asdf_admin
              i use to be important
              • Jun 2004
              • 12798

              #7
              Re: miketpoto

              Mike get some class you Homo.
              dead, yet alive.

              Comment

              • Kamal
                Administrator
                • May 2002
                • 28835

                #8
                Re: miketpoto

                humor has its place yao, there's a limit on the vulgarity you choose to describe something that's dear to a lot of people..... and your parents are part of that no limit zone.... throughout my stay here in the US, I find it so odd that people will jump right out and say "yea and so is your mother". While over time I've forced myself to accept it but you couldn't dare to pull that shit off in India. You'd go home with one testicle short of your manhood.

                The idea that your liberal jokes (are just jokes) and its ok take them over the edge is the reason people fail to realize their boundaries with humor and create a shit load of problems and issues that could've been kept at bay because of a little bit of empathy for the other persons feelings. The idea is not to laugh at cause you dont believe in it.... I dont believe in jehaadists, but u dont see me mocking allah.....

                poor mockery and an even worse explanation / justification if you thought that shit was ok to post
                www.mjwebhosting.com

                Jib says:
                he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shitting
                Originally posted by ace_dl
                Guys and Gals, I have to hurry/leaving for short-term vacations.
                I won't be back until next Tuesday, so if Get Carter is the correct answer, I would appreciate of someone else posts a new cap for me

                Comment

                • asdf_admin
                  i use to be important
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 12798

                  #9
                  Re: miketpoto

                  -e- some do not understand. not even if you were their friend and told them it hurts your feelings. some will continue. i believe it is a fear, hate thing. a personal dilemma. it as if they almost have something to prove.
                  dead, yet alive.

                  Comment

                  • miketpoto
                    Shabisquik The Ghetto Queen
                    • Jan 2005
                    • 4223

                    #10
                    Re: miketpoto

                    Its the humor behind the picture and the play on words (combined with how completely "wrong" the image is in context) while at the same time it says nothing nor criticizes the religion. As a gay homosexual I hold no negative connotations towards nor do I endorse the bum-bumping, however I also don't think of it as anything that can honestly be construed as evil/hurtful/spiteful....

                    Is it offensive? hell yeah.... but one should never let things that are in no way attacking and/or demeaning to an individual and/or group get the best of themselves. I have never felt personally attacked by cowardly, however I find his biblical sprinklings to be innapropriate in their contexts or perhaps just their frequency. Am I offended or upset for more than a few seconds afterwards, no. Nor do I intend anything other than initial shock and hopefully a few words on what anyone's reaction to it may be.

                    I never, EVER, claimed to be athiest.... I think the ridicule of beliefs is a stretch for my last posting, as it has nothing to say about the validity or integrity of any of the teachings of Christianity. ( I have technically broken "big" commandments, but thats my cross to bear and is in no way imparted onto anyone else)

                    Essentially, I apologize for any pain anyone has felt due to any of my postings, I don't ever intend for that as an outcome, but I will share my thoughts on things.... and shit that makes me laugh, even out of sheer ridiculousness. That last post of mine in no way has any association to any individual's feelings.... if anyone's beliefs are so strong and resolute to the point of finding no humor in it, then conversely it should have no affect on what you hold sacred as it does nothing to prevent that.

                    Comment

                    • asdf_admin
                      i use to be important
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 12798

                      #11
                      Re: miketpoto

                      mike go back to sleep.

                      perhaps it was too early for -e- and I.
                      dead, yet alive.

                      Comment

                      • Kamal
                        Administrator
                        • May 2002
                        • 28835

                        #12
                        Re: miketpoto

                        very poor justification poto, for a person (who in my mind) holds an extremely high level of comprehension to most things that would skip under most commoners.... to let your intelligence use something so "cheap" (for a lack of a better word) in an unintelligent "sexual" connotation way makes it even worse cause it shows a "deliberate attempt" on your part, which in my opinion is far worse than mindless humor....

                        And how on earth can you say it cannot be construed as evil / hurtful / spiteful when you know well how it would be greeted and u still went ahead and posted it in a thread that belongs to someone who is so deep rooted in his beliefs in christianity when you have the very God he worships in an image like that

                        this was low mikey, sorry to have to say that but it really fucked up saturday morning having to see that
                        www.mjwebhosting.com

                        Jib says:
                        he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shitting
                        Originally posted by ace_dl
                        Guys and Gals, I have to hurry/leaving for short-term vacations.
                        I won't be back until next Tuesday, so if Get Carter is the correct answer, I would appreciate of someone else posts a new cap for me

                        Comment

                        • miketpoto
                          Shabisquik The Ghetto Queen
                          • Jan 2005
                          • 4223

                          #13
                          Re: miketpoto

                          and for the record, I am staying with friends, one of whom happens to be a lutheran minister.... and he thought it was hysterical and brushed it off as retarded at worst.

                          And by retarded I mean, "they can do ANYTHING"...

                          I didn't start this thread, nor did I design or create that image (its from a t-shirt site that acknowlegdes itself as offensive),

                          NOR DID I GET ANYTHING OTHER THAN A "don't let it get to ya" FROM BOARD ADMIN WHEN I WAS PERSONALLY AND PUBLICLY RIDICULED AND DEGRADED BY A CERTAIN beanzncheez, "He's just always been like that, and it's quirky so we keep him around"

                          remember that dismissal of respect in regard to it's intentions, just for old time's sake. I am over that, and hold it against no one, but I bring it up only because it's fitting for this situation.

                          Comment

                          • shosh
                            Banned
                            • Jun 2004
                            • 4668

                            #14
                            Re: miketpoto

                            another thing fitting to this situation would be an edit/delete of that post. that picture was in no way funny/hysterical/retarded. It was of poor taste and total disrespect. And if someone (who doesnt frequent the board anymore) has offended you in the past it is shameful, but it does not justify something this low.

                            i dont know you and so i have nothing to say in regards to you or your person. this is only in regards to your post. do as all a favor and get rid of it. cheers

                            Comment

                            • cowardly dj
                              ZangerBob
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 645

                              #15
                              Re: miketpoto

                              When I made this thread it was in a humorus jest to perhaps crack a smile for a few people and even you.

                              I can see you are a distaseful person and I do not believe that you thought this would be humorus. I an convinced that you intended to insult me and religion.
                              I do not care and am not insulted. I am sad for you. I know what lies ahead for people who are insistent to do evil. I hope that somewhere in your life someone can show you the right way and I will pray for you. I am willing to teach you about the Bible and show you how to understand it.

                              Hate the sin but love the sinner.
                              Greatly rejoicing in following God as a freedom not a choice.

                              Comment

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