The Difference Between the Sexes

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  • bart_smastard
    Gold Gabber
    • May 2005
    • 980

    The Difference Between the Sexes

    there is a bit of truth in this

    How To Shower Like a Woman:

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How To Shower Like a Man:

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
    Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
    Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower.
    Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again.
    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
    Throw wet towel on bed.
  • ZendoBro
    Mr. Roboto
    • Dec 2004
    • 864

    #2
    Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

    Ha ha! What's funny is that most of those are true.
    I am no cyberwhore...
    http://www.myspace.com/zendobro

    Comment

    • srbbnd
      Platinum Poster
      • Jul 2005
      • 1088

      #3
      Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

      Funny Europeans.
      www.bestfilmsofthe20thcentury.com/

      www.forwardthinkingproduction.com/

      Comment

      • cyrus32
        Gold Gabber
        • Jul 2004
        • 510

        #4
        Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

        so true, so true, i dunno y but when i look at my package in the mirror im so mezmorized by it, always have to look at it for at least a couple of mins.
        Edited - Bossy to racey for work

        Comment

        • Yao
          DUDERZ get a life!!!
          • Jun 2004
          • 8167

          #5
          Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

          Originally posted by srbbnd
          Funny Europeans.
          Pssshhhht...as if Americans would do it the other way around...
          Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

          There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

          Comment

          • J-Shock
            Gold Gabber
            • Jun 2004
            • 619

            #6
            Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

            There is too much truth in this. i laughed so hard at a few of them!
            Peace
            J-Shock

            Comment

            • asdf_admin
              i use to be important
              • Jun 2004
              • 12798

              #7
              Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

              Pee.
              rofl.
              dead, yet alive.

              Comment

              • rag21
                Fresh Peossy
                • Jun 2004
                • 28

                #8
                Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                this thing got me thinking about my whole ritual...

                and i scratch my ass alot.
                Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.

                Comment

                • peloquin
                  Till I Come!
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 8643

                  #9
                  Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                  "shower mohawk"

                  Comment

                  • ubiqe
                    Platinum Poster
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 1731

                    #10
                    Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                    so very true...

                    Comment

                    • TomTom
                      Paging Doctor Weeds...we have a shortage on 1st St.
                      • May 2002
                      • 16206

                      #11
                      Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                      "Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time"

                      Guilty. And for a few other things as well I won't mention.

                      Comment

                      • Yao
                        DUDERZ get a life!!!
                        • Jun 2004
                        • 8167

                        #12
                        Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                        Guilty of almost everything except the package check since the damn mirrors have been placed too high around here. A bit lame to walk up to one and stare down it to still be able to check it IMO...not that there's something extremely spectacular to see anyway
                        Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

                        There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

                        Comment

                        • DancingQueen
                          AVB FanClub | President
                          • Oct 2005
                          • 4061

                          #13
                          Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                          hehe cute
                          sigpic
                          RIP Steve "Jibs" James - Your footprint is forever on my soul and in my heart xoxo
                          RIP Jeff Shewchuk aka DJ Jeff Taylor (day_for_night) - You will live on in my heart forever xoxo

                          Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

                          Comment

                          • dek0021
                            Getting Somewhere
                            • Oct 2005
                            • 102

                            #14
                            Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                            there are 43 added vitamins in my toothpaste.
                            Ready for a massive breakdown!!

                            Comment

                            • Yao
                              DUDERZ get a life!!!
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 8167

                              #15
                              Re: The Difference Between the Sexes

                              U a girl??
                              Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

                              There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

                              Comment

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