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Sorry if this is a repost, colleague just sent this to me and I thought it's funny 
> To: Al Qaeda (Head Office)
> cc:
> bcc:
> FROM: Bin Laden, Osama.
> Subject: The Cave
>
> Hi guys.
>
> We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come
> together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a
> jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a
> few concerns:
>
> First of all: While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles,
> we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want
> to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we
> need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster
> - have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area
> (next to the Halal toaster/griller).
>
> Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm
> trying to scare the hell out of most of the world's population, okay?
> That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in
> the
> background or keep doing the 'Wasssuuup' thing. Thanks.
>
> Third: Food. I bought a box of Bega cheese recently, clearly wrote
> "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Today,
> two of my Bega slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm
> saying.
>
> Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
> ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. And please - do not
> chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy. Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey.
> Thanks.
>
> Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group
> toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was
> relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
>
> Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old
> excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself
> at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With
> donkeys there is a grey area).
>
> Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise
> trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
> them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
>
> Love you lots, Group Hug.
>
> PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry
> bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
> To: Al Qaeda (Head Office)
> cc:
> bcc:
> FROM: Bin Laden, Osama.
> Subject: The Cave
>
> Hi guys.
>
> We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come
> together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a
> jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a
> few concerns:
>
> First of all: While it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles,
> we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want
> to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we
> need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster
> - have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area
> (next to the Halal toaster/griller).
>
> Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm
> trying to scare the hell out of most of the world's population, okay?
> That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in
> the
> background or keep doing the 'Wasssuuup' thing. Thanks.
>
> Third: Food. I bought a box of Bega cheese recently, clearly wrote
> "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Today,
> two of my Bega slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm
> saying.
>
> Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
> ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. And please - do not
> chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy. Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey.
> Thanks.
>
> Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group
> toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was
> relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.
>
> Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old
> excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself
> at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With
> donkeys there is a grey area).
>
> Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise
> trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for
> them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
>
> Love you lots, Group Hug.
>
> PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry
> bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
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