Tweet
This past weekend George Lucas announced the title to the final Star
Wars
movie. It's called, "I Hope You Geeks Have Some Money Left To Go See
This
Piece Of Shit Fifty Times In The Theatre; Not To Mention Buy All Of The
Overpriced Merchandise To Fill Your Bedroom In Your Mom's Basement".
The
fans have taken to calling it Episode III.
-------------------------------------------------------------
ALL TRUE, ALL NEW SHIRTS
-------------------------------------------------------------
All of our new shirts are here:
If you're an AOL user, or unable to click the link above, copy and
paste it
into your browser.
-------------------------------------------------------------
NEW $1000 DISGUSTING WHORE CONTEST
-------------------------------------------------------------
If we learned anything from your emails, and the pictures you've sent
in to
our whore section, it's that most of you are truly sick, disgusting,
mother
fuckers. So, now it's time to put your money where your mouth is.
We are proud to announce the new $1000 Most Disgusting Whore Contest.
We
want you to send us a picture of you wearing your T-Shirt Hell shirt
while
committing the most disgusting, most unspeakable acts. We know you're
not
pretty, but you are pretty disgusting without even trying. So the
question
is: how disgusting can you be when you put your mind to it?
We want pictures that will make us want to cry, scream, and vomit. We
know
what you're capable of, and we'll give you a $1000 to capture it on
film.
Remember, you have to be wearing your T-Shirt Hell shirt in the
picture.
All of the details are posted at:
Incidentally, you freaks should check out Lacey, the smoking hot winner
of
our $1000 Hottest Whore contest.
The runners up will be posted shortly and their pictures will appear
throughout the regular whore pages.
-------------------------------------------------------------
DEMOCRATIC UNNATURAL CONVENTION
-------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, the Democratic Unnatural Convention is underway. Can you feel the
excitement? The air feels like it's practically burning when I pee.
I
thought I'd give a few tips for anyone traveling to the convention or
even
for those watching it on TV.
If you're planning on attending the convention you should know that
some of
those hookers aren't really ladies; and I don't just mean they have bad
manners. Don't wait until they've ass raped you, beaten you with a
lead
pipe, and thrown your naked jizm and blood soaked body in a dumpster to
find
out. The best thing to do is when you approach a hooker in Boston you
should ask, "Are you one of those ones that looks like a lady, but is
really
a dude, with a penis?" Remember, safety first. The good thing is you
don't
have to wear a condom. In honor of the convention, all of the hookers
are
disease free.
The next thing to remember, is when you attend the convention is to
leave
your pointy ears at home. It's not that kind of convention you lonely,
pathetic, pimple faced, Postal playing, fanboy, loser. You, on the
other
hand, should just take whatever hooker you can get, and just be
grateful.
Remember to hide your bus fare underneath the dumpster.
A lot of you may heard that Ronald Reagan will be addressing the crowd,
and
are looking forward to seeing a cool, rotting, zombie of an
ex-president
lumbering through the convention killing delegates and eating their
brains.
This is not the case. Apparently there is an effeminate little man who
is
also called Ronald Reagan there to discuss something called stem cell
research. This is just a fancy name for the old, "101 uses for a dead
baby"
routine. While this sounds like something that might be funny, it is
in
fact boring.
If you should encounter Hillary Rodham Clinton, it is appropriate to
address
her as, "Your Former First Lady Senatorness" and not by the more
familiar, "
Wassup, bitch?" Try not to stare at her giant legs, do avoid her
atomic
breath, and whatever you do, please refrain from asking, "Are you one
of
those ones that looks like a lady, but is really a dude, with a penis?"
For those of you planning to watch it on TV, you might want to know
that as
an alternative, they've just released a special VIP edition of the
movie,
"Showgirls". Yes, Elizabeth Berkley has an enormous flat ass that
resembles two loaves of French bread placed side by side, but overall
this
movie is a real gem. I believe it includes a deleted scene with her
taking
a cumshot full in the face. Or that might be on the VIP edition of
"Saved
by the Bell" Season 4. Either one will be a better choice.
-------------------------------------------------------------
ALL HAIL THE HATE IN THE MAIL
-------------------------------------------------------------
From: sooze
Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2004 9:45 AM
Subject: RE: T-Shirt Hell Early July Newsletter
Please can I be taken off this list? I don't appreciate you telling
women
what they can and can't do during a lapdance. You'd be lucky to get one
from
anyone. I don't mind most of the shit you print, but when you start
talking
like a total wanker, degrading women it just makes me think, "Why the
HELL
am I on this mailing list??" So kindly remove me and stop sending me
the
crap you are so fond of spouting off. I'm a 16 y/o girl and I really
don't
want to hear an adult saying the type of bullshit you are full of.
Thanks.
(Editor's Note: Sooze, in America, anyone with $20 and a hard-on can
get a
lapdance. Actually, the hard-on is optional. I don't degrade these
women,
I celebrate them. You're the kind of girl who could benefit from my
personal guidance. Please send a pic, plus your home phone number and
address.)
---------------------------------------------
----- Original Message -----
From: Late120@***.com
Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 11:05 AM
Subject: Re: Your response to hate mail
I just read your response to the person who wrote you complaining about
the
I Plane N.Y. T-shirt. How convenient that you don't bother to actually
address her concerns. Instead you resort to name calling.
I can't blame you I suppose. How could you intelligently and with any
seriousness justify the selling of such a shirt? You can't.
There is NO GOOD reason for selling such a hurtful t-shirt. That mocks
the
saddest and most tragic day in U.S. history.
(Editor's Note: First of all, I never feel the need to resort to name
calling you shit brained, puss eating, pencil dicked, asshole. That's
just
an added bonus. Second, I can sell any fucking shirt that I want sell
because unlike what you and those terrorist scumbags who attacked the
World
Trade Center, I believe in freedom of speech which is one of the
principles
this country was founded on. And yes it was meant to protect unpopular
speech as well as any of this stupid crap that spouts out of your head
when
you don't have it shoved up your ass. As for a good reason to sell it,
how
about this: people want to buy it.)
---------------------------------------------
----- Original Message -----
From: ScaryUncle**@***.com
Sent: Friday, July 16, 2004 3:15 PM
Subject: Hate mail worth reading
You guys suck, I'm sorry, but you do. You're trying to be a 2nd rate
Howard
Stern of the shirt business. You make out like you don't care, but you
have
a good website layout and probably spent a lot of time on you're
business.
Most of your T shirts are retarded. You're a bunch of wannabe jackoffs.
You're newsletter suxx too, it's not even funny. I play postal, so
don't
tell me it's just because I'm a square.
Face the music dumbasses.
Scary Uncle
(Editor's Note: Glad to see you're so proud of the nickname your
nephews
call you while at therapy. I'm sorry that we have a well organized,
professional company unlike Howard Stern who must never spend any time
preparing his radio show. I'm sure they all sit on the floor in a
dirty
room passing around a Mr. Microphone. I'm sure you're not square. I'm
sure
you're more of that other shape, what do they call it? That's right, a
mongoloid.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Peace Yourself
Comment