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Basic Information
A properly prepaired shit sandwich is truly a wonderful culinary experience. The sandwich consists of three main parts: bread, shit and bedridden hospital patients, also known as "vegetables".
Bread
A standard shit sandwich can be made upon any bread. However, extensive research has found that hoagie rolls, french bread, or hotdog buns work the best. Researchers are currently studying the effectiveness of using tortillas or other suitable wrap breads.
Shit
As you may or may not know, shit -- according to The Epicurean's Field Guide, the definitive text on the subject -- is "known to have an unusually strong aroma, ...is highly prized for its unique texture and flavour". Therefore, it is advisable to purchase the finest and freshest shit from your local grocery or fine foods store. If top quality Grade A shit is not available in your area, another great place to find shit is on the UPN Television Network.
A few really excellent places to find shit is your local City Hall, County Seat, State Capitol, Washington D.C. , The UN Building.
Asshole
The origin of Shit.
Vegetables
Standard vegetables for a shit sandwich include:
While it is customary to serve the sandwich with vegetables, it is acceptable (according to the purists) to serve the sandwich without any vegetable accompaniments.
Shit Sandwich Assembly
If you wish to make your own shit sandwich, please follow the instructions below.
Serve immediately.
Nutritional Information
Serving Size: 1 Sandwich
Composition: 100% Shit (Not including toppings and bun)
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 325
Iron 2mg
Sodium 40mg
Potassium: 60 mg
* 1 Basic Information
o 1.1 Bread
o 1.2 Shit
o 1.3 Asshole
o 1.4 Vegetables
* 2 Shit Sandwich Assembly
* 3 Nutritional Information
* 4 See Also
o 1.1 Bread
o 1.2 Shit
o 1.3 Asshole
o 1.4 Vegetables
* 2 Shit Sandwich Assembly
* 3 Nutritional Information
* 4 See Also
Basic Information
A properly prepaired shit sandwich is truly a wonderful culinary experience. The sandwich consists of three main parts: bread, shit and bedridden hospital patients, also known as "vegetables".
Bread
A standard shit sandwich can be made upon any bread. However, extensive research has found that hoagie rolls, french bread, or hotdog buns work the best. Researchers are currently studying the effectiveness of using tortillas or other suitable wrap breads.
Shit
As you may or may not know, shit -- according to The Epicurean's Field Guide, the definitive text on the subject -- is "known to have an unusually strong aroma, ...is highly prized for its unique texture and flavour". Therefore, it is advisable to purchase the finest and freshest shit from your local grocery or fine foods store. If top quality Grade A shit is not available in your area, another great place to find shit is on the UPN Television Network.
A few really excellent places to find shit is your local City Hall, County Seat, State Capitol, Washington D.C. , The UN Building.
Asshole
The origin of Shit.
Vegetables
Standard vegetables for a shit sandwich include:
* iceberg lettuce
* tomatoes (yes, I know it's technically a fruit. Fuck off, Alton Brown)
* red onions
* green peppers
* olives
* pickles
* corn
* carrots
* cucumbers
* radishes
* habanero peppers
* beef
* tomatoes (yes, I know it's technically a fruit. Fuck off, Alton Brown)
* red onions
* green peppers
* olives
* pickles
* corn
* carrots
* cucumbers
* radishes
* habanero peppers
* beef
While it is customary to serve the sandwich with vegetables, it is acceptable (according to the purists) to serve the sandwich without any vegetable accompaniments.
Shit Sandwich Assembly
If you wish to make your own shit sandwich, please follow the instructions below.
1. Get your shit together.
Gather the ingredients for the sandwich.
You may need to wash the vegetables too.
2. Properly cook the shit.
In some places, they smoke the shit, while in others they deep fry the shit.
However you prepare it, be sure not to cook the living shit out of it.
3. Slice the bread or bun.
4. Assemble the sandwich.
Spread the buns (or bread) and gently stuff it with the vegetables and shit.
Gather the ingredients for the sandwich.
You may need to wash the vegetables too.
2. Properly cook the shit.
In some places, they smoke the shit, while in others they deep fry the shit.
However you prepare it, be sure not to cook the living shit out of it.
3. Slice the bread or bun.
4. Assemble the sandwich.
Spread the buns (or bread) and gently stuff it with the vegetables and shit.
Serve immediately.
Nutritional Information
Serving Size: 1 Sandwich
Composition: 100% Shit (Not including toppings and bun)
Servings Per Container: 1
Calories: 325
Calories from fat: 42
Total fat: 30gSat. fat: 10g
Trans fat: 0g
Total Carbohydrate: 45gTrans fat: 0g
Dietary Fiber: 12g
Sugars: 3g
Protein: 20gSugars: 3g
Iron 2mg
Sodium 40mg
Potassium: 60 mg
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