Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

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  • Balanc3
    Platinum Poster
    • Jun 2004
    • 1278

    Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

    TAZER!?!?!?! just shoot the focker... the man didn't want to live if he cut off his dick. wtf


    Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

    Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.
    "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

    Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

    Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

    Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.
    The occupants were not home, he added.

    Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

    "At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

    Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.
    Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

    "About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
    Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.
    "As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.
    JourneyDeep .into the sound
  • DJJEFFJONES
    Platinum Poster
    • Nov 2005
    • 2110

    #2
    Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

    WTF

    Knife wielding naked man with no penis...Now I have heard it all.
    http://www.idgafclothing.com

    Comment

    • TomTom
      Paging Doctor Weeds...we have a shortage on 1st St.
      • May 2002
      • 16206

      #3
      Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

      lmao...nearly like that old woman in the Simpsons throwing cats at visitors. Only difference is that he used knifes and his penis and that he does not live in a cartoon.

      Comment

      • anonin
        Juvenile Delinquent
        • Oct 2005
        • 2347

        #4
        Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

        what a dick!

        Comment

        • geoffgulley
          Platinum Poster
          • Apr 2005
          • 2002

          #5
          Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

          ^^ "actual chicago police quote".....
          "only dead fish swim with the stream..." Malcolm Muggeridge





          Comment

          • picklemonkey
            Double hoodie beer monster
            • Jun 2004
            • 15373

            #6
            Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

            they reattached it?! that's a legitimate penis for frying & sautee'ing

            what a bunch of idiots. they need to learn their meats.

            Comment

            • Balanc3
              Platinum Poster
              • Jun 2004
              • 1278

              #7
              Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

              ^kinda like pickled bull pizzle.
              JourneyDeep .into the sound

              Comment

              • speciale
                Are you Kidding me??
                • Dec 2005
                • 3728

                #8
                Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?
                Originally posted by Miroslav
                It's not like he grabbed his balls and sucked his dick. It's not like he gave the Saudis the original copy of the Constitution to use as toilet paper. It's not like he gave away the secret recipe to the Colonel's chicken. .
                No Soup for You

                Comment

                • geoffgulley
                  Platinum Poster
                  • Apr 2005
                  • 2002

                  #9
                  Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                  Originally posted by speciale
                  so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?
                  ^^ paging mr sieben.... paging mr sieben...... ruling please?

                  edited for more exciting content!!!
                  Last edited by geoffgulley; March 17, 2006, 04:58:20 PM.
                  "only dead fish swim with the stream..." Malcolm Muggeridge





                  Comment

                  • anonin
                    Juvenile Delinquent
                    • Oct 2005
                    • 2347

                    #10
                    Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                    Originally posted by geoffgulley
                    ^^ paging mr sieben.... paging mr sieben......
                    LOL!


                    Comment

                    • KinKyJ
                      Platinum Poser
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 13438

                      #11
                      Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                      What are you pussies bitchin' about that guy??? None of us has the balls to cut off our own love pumps. I'd say RESPECT! (and "what a dillweed")

                      Comment

                      • sakio pod
                        SALAD TOSSER
                        • Jun 2004
                        • 6034

                        #12
                        Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                        classic.....the old cut off your dick and chuck it at the 5 0 trick

                        Comment

                        • darktribal
                          Addiction started
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 352

                          #13
                          Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                          What a crazy bastard!
                          For if you do it right you'll find the moment never ends. -phish

                          Comment

                          • horsack
                            Getting Somewhere
                            • Feb 2005
                            • 114

                            #14
                            Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                            well that took balls...
                            brother man gonna break a window
                            gonna steal a hubcap
                            gonna smoke a joint
                            brother man gonna go to jail
                            the man who tried to steal america ... is not in jail
                            we beg your pardon america

                            Comment

                            • thezzapper
                              Gold Gabber
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 813

                              #15
                              Re: Dude cuts off his penis and throws it at Chicago police

                              Originally posted by speciale
                              so if the penis hit a cop in the face, does that make him gay?
                              no, assault with a deadly penis!
                              sigpic

                              Comment

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