Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

[neoee]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

Kinky, I think Sean pretty much hit it on the head and even you mentioned the family will eventually come around. I've been there and trust me, they will.

But as far as converting to Muslim, that's a bad idea (not because theres anything wrong with being Muslim) because your compromising your character. The reason your gf is with you is because of who you are, by changing that your no longer being your true self. I see too many guys do this and as a result their relationships spiral downward. Their partners loose a little respect. Besides you might be a bit spiteful against the religion in the future since you would have converted due to the external pressures.

[KinKyJ]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

One thing I feel like noting is that it's easy to say "fuck blood" because in reality it's like fuck them for not being all down with love and whatnot but it's important to remember she did grow up with these people and they probably have more of an influence then you would think over her. I'm not suggesting you change course at all because I think you two should be together just understand that even if she says it's simple to choose you-it's probably really not

I lost a girlfriend to parents that hated the fact that I wanted to be a DJ and like three months before it happened I got a little cocky with it and decided to not sweat it and then they moved in with some very influential incentives and ultimately it caused us to break up

I shouldn't have been with her because she wasn't ready to fight for me in the way it seems like your girl is-but do realize how fucked this has got to be for her

You're right about the fact that it's not THAT easy to say fuck you and goodbye to your parents, especially not whe you live in a society where family is very important. I've noticed that when the first crisis with her parents occured in February. She was really torn apart then. But as time passed and her parents kept playing tricks on her (cutting off her allowance, not paying for her phone bill and as climax the veto on our holiday) she became more and more determined.

To me that's a big relief. Don't get me wrong, to me a rupture between them is still a scenario I want to avoid at all costs. But in the past I was affraid that it would place a heavy burdon on our relationship. Just imagine when you're having a fight, how long will it take for the magical words to pop out: "Yeah well, I've given up on my parents and my family for you so shut the fuck up." If she'd pack her bags right now, she won't have herself or me to blame for it.

@ shosh & neoee: you guys are completely right when you say converting is a bad idea if it's because of external pressure. I was just talking to Erzina on MSN about it. A little copy paste:

look, u do things which U think are right for doing...

and yes, the guy is right, l love u the way u are...and why do u think l'm not letting u convert and do the cut (even though l find that important)...

but u'll only do that if u have inner desire, not external pressure...

kapish now???

Sometimes I find it hard to believe she's only 21...

The conclusion I'm getting to during the past few days is that I've been focussing too much on finding a way to please her parents/make them accept me/prove them I'm "worthy" of their daughter. The question why I should respect people who disprespect me to the extent that they don't even want to know anything about me. I've made their daughter happy and imo that's all the proof I need to show them...

[KinKyJ]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

@ albanians... im originally from romania, "a latin country in a slavic sea," so i know a bit about what you're talking about cheers and good luck. and like i said... this calls for a good session of you know what

How do you mean? I'm not too familiar with Romania, so enlighten me

As for that good session of you know what... Well, without going too much into the details, let's say Oakie doesn't look sad anymore (btw, that was a good one, hahahaha)

[beanzncheez]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

This thread is awesome. Thanks guys.

[nicomax]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

I say stay away from Macedonia, live together, find out if all this is worth for both of you, and then make an adult decision. Parents will have to respect that, but don't rush into converting/changing citizenship, less than a year seeing each other from time to time seems to early to make big changes.

[speciale]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

I am not reading long post due to my ADD, but you really have only 2 choices. Pursue her or let her go. She is young and I have no clue how old you are so age here makes a difference. The point that I am trying to make is as a 32 yr old, I have met a lot of women who at the time I was about to take over the world to be with them, but over time, I moved on and thank God I did or I would have never met my fiance who in less than 2 weeks will marry.

I defninitely know the pain you are going through, but is she the right one for you? Are you ready to give up a lot of yourself for her? Have you asked her if she is willing to leave her parents for you?

Its a tough situation you are in and I am sure we both agree that it is all bullshit. We are people and that is it. Who cares where you are from or who you believe in. We are all still people. Just remember one thing, don't change who you are just to be with her. Hell, she likes you for you. So fuck what her parents think. You tried the respect route and that didn't work. Converting is a bunch of crap as well.

Good luck and I hope everything works out.

[beanzncheez]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

^ ^ Kinky is 48. In case you were wondering.

[Yao]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

Man I feel so lucky that I have parents that accept whomever I'd bring home...as long as the love is strong and real. Totally fucked up situation for you Jan, but it looks like her love for you is too strong indeed. If she leaves her family to live with you, one question she should ask herself might be wether she would find happiness if she'd listened to them at all. A total breakup scenario is never desirable, but sometimes it may help you take a path that is in the end much more rewarding....

[beanzncheez]

Re: Freedom and equality aren't obvious at all

Family should always stick with family.