some lawyer jokes

[ezdude1970]

The recent spate of frivolous law suits has reminded me that we have
been
> > ignoring the lawyers for too long so.......
> >
> >
> > 1. The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures
of
> > lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
> > 2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She
> > has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
> > 3. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, and then he
lies
> > on the other.
> > 4. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only One. The rest are true stories.
> > 5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can
you
> > afford?
> > 6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to
> > climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
> > 7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could save
> only
> > one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
> > 8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
> > 9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
> > 10. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
> > 11. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50 ? Your honor.
> > 12. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
> > 13. What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
> > 14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? Nothing. There are
> some
> > things a pig won't do.
> > 15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer
gets
> > frequent flyer miles.
> > 16. What's another difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Removable
> wing
> > tips.
> > 17. Why does California have the most lawyers in the country while New
> > Jersey has the most toxic waste sites? New Jersey got first choice. &
drum
> > roll please...
> > 18. What do you get if you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked
> politician?
> > Chelsea Clinton.
> > 19. 98% of all lawyers make the other 2% look bad.

[toasty]

Re:: some lawyer jokes

Two lawyer friends are walking down the street when a robber jumps out from behind the bushes and holds them at gun point, yelling at them to get out their wallets. One turns to the other and says, "Listen buddy, in case we don't make it through this, I want to make sure that everything is square between us before we die. I want you to know that I slept with your wife ten years ago."

The other attorney turns to his friend and says, "I'd like to square things up with you, too. Here's that $300 I owe you."

[fumanchu182]

Does anyone want me to post some new MCGreevy jokes?

[Wanni]

Does anyone want me to post some new MCGreevy jokes?

YES!

[umlaut]

MCGreevy is a meatball licker

[rewing3]

Thanks for the stupid but yet funny jokes.

[chato]

some good ones there :P