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Just when you thought the Japs take the prize for being fucked in the head, out come the Bible Belters and their War on Masturbation.
Hokey, first I was going to post this shit to ridiculize it, but as I browsed through the site the grin on my face faded away...
First the fun part:
and it gets even more retarded when you read the solutions they've come up with for this "problem"... One example which made me think of what the Nazis used to call Entartete K?nst: 2. ALL indecent art. This includes paintings, sculptures and photographs. We don't need the Victoria's Secret catalog! Simple, modest underwear would sell itself and minimize unGodly temptations.
But then they crossed the line as far as I'm concerned. And they crossed it big time...
Strike 1...
Strike 2...
Strike 3...
... annnnnnnnnd respect & dignity are outa hereeeeee!
If anybody here wants to launch a DoS attack on this site, do it with my compliments
Hokey, first I was going to post this shit to ridiculize it, but as I browsed through the site the grin on my face faded away...
First the fun part:
Myth: Masturbation is harmless.
Reality: Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.
Reality: Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.
Myth: There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!
Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.
Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on Masturbation have come to the conclusion that Masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that Masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.
Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for Masturbation being outlawed.
Reality: Masturbatory devices are already illegal in Texas, and the Police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law, even going as far as to torture clerks that worked in stores that sold indecently-shaped soap and candles, and there has been no public outcry. In the Post-9/11 world, Americans couldn't care less about "Freedom!"
Myth: Masturbation feels good.
Reality: The illusion of pleasure one experiences while Masturbating is actually caused by the simultaneous deaths of millions of brain cells. Is five seconds worth of imaginary pleasure really worth an Eternity in Hell?
Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!
Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.
Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on Masturbation have come to the conclusion that Masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that Masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.
Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for Masturbation being outlawed.
Reality: Masturbatory devices are already illegal in Texas, and the Police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law, even going as far as to torture clerks that worked in stores that sold indecently-shaped soap and candles, and there has been no public outcry. In the Post-9/11 world, Americans couldn't care less about "Freedom!"
Myth: Masturbation feels good.
Reality: The illusion of pleasure one experiences while Masturbating is actually caused by the simultaneous deaths of millions of brain cells. Is five seconds worth of imaginary pleasure really worth an Eternity in Hell?
Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.
But then they crossed the line as far as I'm concerned. And they crossed it big time...
Strike 1...
Strike 2...
Strike 3...
... annnnnnnnnd respect & dignity are outa hereeeeee!
If anybody here wants to launch a DoS attack on this site, do it with my compliments
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