Joke of the day

[KinKyJ]

Two necrophiliacs are at work in the morgue.

One of them turns to the other and says: "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle."

"What," the other asks, "green?".

"No," says the first, " a bit sour."

[Lrn]

Re: Joke of the day

ughh, hehe thats horrible

[Duff McKagin]

Re: Joke of the day

oh man

[Miguel]

Re: Joke of the day

buaahh

[Dzone]

Re: Joke of the day

LAMO ...fuckin hell

[mnbvcxz]

Re: Joke of the day

yummy

[KinKyJ]

Re: Joke of the day

New day, new nasty joke...

Man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a huge hole in my ass"
The doctors says "Drop your pants, bend over and let have a look".
"Fuck me!!" says the doctor "what could have made a hole as big as that?"
Patient replies I've been fucked by an elephant".
The doctor says "An elephants penis is long and thin, this hole is enormous".
Patient replies "He fingered me first".

[Dzone]

Re: Joke of the day

That was fuckin funny man ...i cant not stop laughin

[speciale]

Re: Joke of the day

old one but a classic!!

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses
were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private
area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she
touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable
movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him,

"As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and
bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close
the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no
heartrate.

The nurses ran back into the room. "What happened ?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure but I think she choked."

[geoffgulley]

Re: Joke of the day

^^ haha.... i'm keeping that one.

[chanty]

Re: Joke of the day

old one but a classic!!

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses
were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private
area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she
touched her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable
movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him,

"As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and
bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close
the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no
heartrate.

The nurses ran back into the room. "What happened ?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure but I think she choked."

Thank-you, I needed that!

[KinKyJ]

Re: Joke of the day

A cop stops his police car when he sees a couple sitting on the curb. The chap is laying on his side with his trousers pulled down, the girl has her finger in his asshole, and she's ramming away with a vengeance.

The cop says, "What the hell is going on here?"

The girl says, "This is my date. When I told him I wouldn't spend the night with him, he started pounding down the booze. Now, he's too drunk to drive me home, so I'm trying to sober him up by making him puke."

The cop says, "That's not gonna make him puke."

She says, "Yeah? Wait till I switch this finger to his mouth."

[speciale]

Re: Joke of the day

^^^ thats just fuckn sick.

[speciale]

Re: Joke of the day

A woman is learning how to golf. She decides to take a lesson from a golf pro. They head out to the driving range and she hits her first ball. The ball goes about 50 yards, slicing to the right.

The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip."

When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, "Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's 'club.' When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing."

She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight, for about 275 yards.

The golf pro says to the woman, "That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to your next problem—How are we going to get that golf club out of your mouth?"

[j_love01]

Re: Joke of the day

Thanx for making me laugh this morning! Some good ones...