Problems with friends

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  • Life on Other Planets AKA Johns
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Oct 2005
    • 3087

    Problems with friends

    Hey all saw a post awhile ago and thought i would share my own experience with my mates. U see i have had alot of friends in the past and still do. With the work i do i do meet alot of new people everyday and i don't have a problem talking to people. Anyway as i get older i have lost a few mates through marriage, growing apart etc. My problem is this. I really love going out to clubs and all. But the only clubs i have found myself going to is shitty commercial clubs with shitty commerical music where everyone there's objective is to get laid (at least i feel that is what they are there for). which is not a bad thing don't get me wrong but i am sick of it.

    Now when any dj's come to melbourne i find it a real struggle going to see them as most of the people i hang out with are not into the same music i like and don't understand the whole dance culture and all (even though i have tried and tried to explain it to them). They all say it all sounds the same and everyone that goes to these places are on drugs. Ok i will admit a fari few people are on drugs and all but i try expaain to them that going to a pub and having alot of drinks and getting drunk is like a drug cause anything that alters your mind from the norm is like a drug am i correct??

    Anyway as i said before i struggle to go see these dj's is cause no one would go with me and i end up not going cause i would feel like a loser going by myself, although i did once 2 years ago to see danny howells. i did have a blast and was hoping to meet new people and all but it did not work out that way and i felt a bit standoffish. anyway what do u guys suggest i do?? do i cut ties with some people cause i do everything they say and go where they want ( i know this might sound childish), or should i go by myself to see these dj's etc and try meet new people?? i don't know how to meet new people in a club if i would go by myself. How should i apporach it?? what do i say to people?? What would be your reation if someone new came and said they were here by themself ?? And does this sortta stuff happen to anyone else either now or in the past and how did u deal with it??

    Chris fortier is coming to melbourne on the 27 october and i would really like to go and have asked people butpeople either can't be fucked or have Uni exams etc. so do i go?? i am gonna see sasha and digweed in november with a couple guy's but i really would love to see chris aswell. Any suggest would be greatly appericated. Thanks in advance

  • speciale
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Dec 2005
    • 3728

    #2
    Re: Problems with friends

    some of the best nights at a club is when I went alone. Just go and enjoy the music.
    Originally posted by Miroslav
    It's not like he grabbed his balls and sucked his dick. It's not like he gave the Saudis the original copy of the Constitution to use as toilet paper. It's not like he gave away the secret recipe to the Colonel's chicken. .
    No Soup for You

    Comment

    • tiddles
      Encryption, Jr.
      • Jun 2004
      • 6861

      #3
      Re: Problems with friends

      no shame in going alone. put your party hat on john

      Comment

      • chanty
        John, John, where art thou!
        • Jun 2004
        • 4622

        #4
        Re: Problems with friends

        Well, I have only a couple of friends that will go out to see good d.j.'s with me and they are not always in town or available to go. It would kill me to be hanging out at home knowing a great d.j. is in the city so I have a couple of drinks and head out to the club. Generally I hang out on the dancefloor and boogie and tend to meet people that way. The more you go out to these events the more you start to see the same people, so you know you have the music in common. Try talking to these peeps about the music and the d.j. Also, do you have any local message boards related to edm. That's always a great way to meet and hook up with people.

        Just go....relax...and have fun!
        Awww...I didn't mean A holes, as in "A holes"...I meant it like, as in, my friends....

        Comment

        • KinKyJ
          Platinum Poser
          • Jun 2004
          • 13438

          #5
          Re: Problems with friends

          Originally posted by johns
          And does this sortta stuff happen to anyone else either now or in the past and how did u deal with it??
          Yup, after my ex thrashed my friend circle. I just got out of the house, went with the flow and what do you know: I 've met a lot of new people.

          Just relax and enjoy the ride: strangers are nothing but friends you haven't met yet.

          Comment

          • Miguel
            Are you Kidding me??
            • Oct 2005
            • 3182

            #6
            Re: Problems with friends

            Originally posted by KinKyJ
            strangers are nothing but friends you haven't met yet.

            well put

            Comment

            • Dzone
              Platinum Poster
              • Jul 2004
              • 1978

              #7
              Re: Problems with friends

              some of my best nights out came when i was clubbin alone & some of my best mates i meet in clubs..so go out have fun and enjoy your nite out
              ^^What dosen't Kill you make you stronger ^^

              Comment

              • hambino21
                PFC Semen Ham
                • Jul 2004
                • 863

                #8
                Re: Problems with friends

                i know just how you feel bro. since i joined the air force everything has changed for me. I'm a total minority in the air force. plus my set of friends change drastically every 2 years or so. the majority of people i meet and affiliate with never partied like us and don't understand stand the music and won't even give it a chance. I really don't have very many people to relate with when it comes to my past. I have run into a couple opened minded people who enjoy the music but that was total blind luck. don't miss the opportunity to see good talent come through, wether you're alone or not. you'll eventually run into to like minded people. untill then enjoy yourself, life is too short to be missing out on it.
                " Focus on the subtleties and the world becomes grander"

                - Me-

                Comment

                • KinKyJ
                  Platinum Poser
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 13438

                  #9
                  Re: Problems with friends

                  ^^^ didn't know you were a zoomer

                  Comment

                  • hambino21
                    PFC Semen Ham
                    • Jul 2004
                    • 863

                    #10
                    Re: Problems with friends

                    yeah, I don't fly though. I'm a broadcast engineer. I wish I was pilot.
                    " Focus on the subtleties and the world becomes grander"

                    - Me-

                    Comment

                    • ShawnD64
                      Quickshot the Minute Man
                      • Jan 2005
                      • 1250

                      #11
                      Re: Problems with friends

                      i was in a similar situation in my old location (just moved). most of my friends hate the music i do and i got very aggravated about it. i just moved to boston and i have a few of those same friends around, but we see each other less often. being that boston is a much better city than i was in, i just started looking for every event i could find and would head out to the small ones which i was interested in. had a lot of trouble at first, because some of the nights i was going to people were far too concerned about their DJ career to say more than 2 words to me... i eventually found a cool techno night and found myself loving the music and the people in a scene i didnt know existed. now, i have 2/3 people i know well that occasionally head out with and starting to have more people i see out that i can talk to. it can be hard, but head out on your own... cool people will understand and talk to you. pretentious ones wont... fuck them
                      http://soundcloud.com/scd64
                      http://www.myspace.com/scd64
                      http://b-sidesradio.blogspot.com/

                      Comment

                      • alexfish333
                        Gold Gabber
                        • Jul 2004
                        • 966

                        #12
                        Re: Problems with friends

                        Ok let me break it down like this-

                        some of my best friends I have now are people I met whilst out alone at clubs-as long as you aren't trying to fuck every girl in the place and are SUPER aware of if a guy is threatened by you talking to one of the girls in his crew then you should be able to have a bangup good time :-) It's only at these environments that you will find what it sounds like your life needs, some new friends. keep the old ones and do their shit a percentage of the time-but get your own shit rolling with music and the scene and you'll be surprised how quickly they start to give it a shot. It's that sort of defensive attitude we all sometimes have when speaking to people who we know don't understand Dance music that almost kills any shot we'd have of talking them into anything before they have a chance to think about it.

                        My first year in NYC was me alone at clubs-Noah didn't really go out and my other friends wanted to try to get laid and shit. SO i came up with a term for the kind of nonsense I got into-Crack Safari. me some booze and a fair amount of artificial energy (no coke or meth tho) and I met some of the coolest people in my life

                        Now when I decide to go out-people who used to like going to Dive bars and other bullshit are the ones calling me to come out

                        DO IT!
                        Holosound@Vertigo in Costa Rica Streaming Video and Audio http://livestream.com/urbanettv/vide...8-c5911280cf91




                        Part of the weekend never dies...

                        Comment

                        • Life on Other Planets AKA Johns
                          Are you Kidding me??
                          • Oct 2005
                          • 3087

                          #13
                          Re: Problems with friends

                          Hey guys thanks for all the advice and encouragement. Keep em comming . I do get shy alot though especially when i don't know the person which makes it difficult i guess. i suppose i have to step out of my comfort zone now and again. Love ya all

                          Comment

                          • rubyraks
                            DUDERZ get a life!!!
                            • Jun 2004
                            • 5341

                            #14
                            Re: Problems with friends

                            I hit that wall long long ago...being a young 35 and married now I had many friends similar to yours that only go out to drink and get laid (or once married just to drink and very rarely at best at that) and I just want to hear some good music (not that there's anything wrong with some eye candy ).

                            What I started doing was going out by myself, where two good things happen: a) I get to be into the music all night and don't have to deal with bitchy friends (especially awesome at concerts), and b) after doing this a few times, you notice the same people all interested in the same music as yourself and this eventually easily opened up into becoming friends with many of them.

                            Unfortunately for me, but fortunate for you, there were no message boards back when I was first going through this. But now there are and that's a great resource for meeting even more friends into the same scene. I can't begin to count how many people I've met in NYC that I continue to go to clubs with (and have become good friends), let alone how many people throughout the world (australia included ).

                            and one great thing about the club scene that may help with your shyness, most clubbers inhibitions tend to be down whether due to drugs, alcohol and/or especially the music itself. So go out and have fun and what's the worst that could happen?!
                            "Work like you don't need the money.
                            Love like you've never been hurt.
                            Dance like nobody's watching.
                            Sing like nobody's listening.
                            Live like it's Heaven on Earth."

                            Comment

                            • etincelles
                              Addiction started
                              • Jun 2005
                              • 336

                              #15
                              Re: Problems with friends

                              .........
                              Last edited by etincelles; March 24, 2010, 03:38:20 PM.

                              Comment

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