So when you are sitting.....

[cowardly dj]

...at a red light in a busy intersection, do you look around at people?

What do you do when you scan a car and see the person doing the same thing you are and they are looking at you?

Try playing the homo card sometime. While looking, if the person is the same sex as you, blow them a kiss. You get a crazy variety of responses. Sometimes the look on their face is priceless. I think it is funny when you blow a kiss to an elderly person. Those are usually the "how disgusting" responses though. Gets boring after a while.

If the homo card gets boring while you are at the light stick you finger so far up your nose that it hurts to think. Then look around and see who sees you. When you make eye contact with someone pull your finger out of your nose and point your finger at them with the gesture as if to say "do you want this"
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Disclaimer - The homo card is not recomended for people living in violent prone cities as it is a sure way to get kicked in the teeth.

[GLD]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

damn, funniest shit i've read in a while, must try the home card thing some time, sounds like a lot of fun. i hope i don't crack up while doing it and screw the whole thing.

[KinKyJ]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

LMAO!

Well CDJ, after the religious mayhem threads this one makes you move up a couple of points again in my ranking

I spend 3 to 4 hours every day travelling to and back from work every day because of the huge traffic jams during rush hour, so I try to lighten the suffering by doing all sorts of stuff in my car. I often have breakfast behind the wheel and during the past few days I've been crunching an Albanian language course. As for weird things to keep myself busy with the following:

- Stare at the person next to you for five minutes without moving a muscle or having an emotion on your face, not even when your neighbour reacts to it. If you want to take it up a level and go from provoking awkwardness to creating paranoia, make a slitting throat or shooting gun gesture and look forward again.

- Pretend that you're eating out of your nose with great enthousiasm. When the person next to you notices it and looks at you in disgust, make a "yum yum, this is friggin gourmet shit" gesture. (variation on the "do you want this?" gesture )

- Hold a bottle of juice between your legs and violently shake it in a way that it looks like you're masturbating. When the person next to you notices you "wanking", hold up the bottle and make a "what else did you think I was doing, you pervert?"-face.

- Slide a merengue CD in your car player, turn the volume up to the max, get out of the car and start dancing on the highway (techno works very well too). If you're in the car with a few friends, start your own outdoor rave party.

- Try to get the person next to you to play a game of paper, scissors and rock.

- Get out of the car, take the foot rug out and put it on the ground (preferably in front of another car). Get on your knees facing East and start praying to Allah. Great stuff when the cars start moving again and you're blocking the road.

- Lift your ass up, get your hand closest to the person next to you under it and pretend your scratching your crack (tormented face expressions add a little extra). Then get your hand back up and sniff your finger. Repeat this a couple of times so that you're sure your anal odyssey has been noticed. When you're sure the person next to you is watching you, stop sniffing your finger, put it in your mouth and start sucking on it.

- Put your laptop on the dashboard (or another visible place) and play hardcore porn on it full screen when there's an elderly couple next to you. Be a nice person and wave friendly at them when they notice the Hide the Salami Olympics in your car.

- Educate those who hold the future of your country by teaching kids obscene gestures.

I honestly don't understand why people stress out in traffic jams

[GLD]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

great stuff Jan, way to make the time pass while sitting in the car, i usually get angry when i'm stuck in a traffic jam.

[cowardly dj]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

I honestly don't understand why people stress out in traffic jams

I wonder the same thing.
It is not like you can go anywhere any faster just because you are mad .

So while I was on my way back from the store today I was sitting a a semi long redlight and was in a crazy mood and I tried the blow a kiss thing and got the bird.

What was the dudes problem?
It is not like I licked my lips and winked at him.

[KinKyJ]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

I wonder the same thing.
It is not like you can go anywhere any faster just because you are mad

Eggfrigginzaktley! It's like those morons who start honking in the middle of a traffic jam. I'm absolutely clueless as to what they're trying to achieve with that (apart from getting on my nerves that is).

By the way: whenever the guy behind you starts blowing his horn because you didn't put the pedal to the metal within five miliseconds after the light switched to green, get out of the car with a "is there something wrong?"-expression on your face and start checking your tires and tail lights. Don't rush: the light will switch to red again anyway, so you have plenty of time to stroll around your car. Hilarious to see the guy behind you popping a vein or two because you're blocking the road until the next red

great stuff Jan, way to make the time pass while sitting in the car, i usually get angry when i'm stuck in a traffic jam.

Two words: left hand (*), kleenex. Farewell mobility stress



(*) because you need your right hand to shift gear...

[Jibgolly]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

i ride a bicycle, so everyone is staring at me. i will not be winking or blowing kisses.
interesting topic though cdj.

[FM]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

nothing better in life sometimes then screwing around with other people...

[asdf_admin]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

my blow up doll works wonders. plus i never get tickets in the carpool lane.

[day_for_night]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

- Slide a merengue CD in your car player, turn the volume up to the max, get out of the car and start dancing on the highway (techno works very well too). If you're in the car with a few friends, start your own outdoor rave party.

ok, this is absolutely a great idea. i actually cant wait till i'm in a traffic jam to try this out...

[RiseandShine]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

driving:
- with friends, we used to do as if we were strangling ourselves until one dropped dead
- having two friends doing acting like they were shagging at the back of the car is also fun
- on our way back renting some paintball equipment, we acted like commando zooming to attack another car
- letting the passenger hold the steering wheel always gets you reactions from other cars ...changing drivers with the front passenger while driving too

[picklemonkey]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

I just got the bird 10 minutes ago in my car. Wish I could've blown a kiss but there was no direct eye contact

[speciale]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

LMAO!

- Stare at the person next to you for five minutes without moving a muscle or having an emotion on your face, not even when your neighbour reacts to it. If you want to take it up a level and go from provoking awkwardness to creating paranoia, make a slitting throat or shooting gun gesture and look forward again.

5 minutes? Are traffic lights that long in Belgium?

- Get out of the car, take the foot rug out and put it on the ground (preferably in front of another car). Get on your knees facing East and start praying to Allah. Great stuff when the cars start moving again and you're blocking the road.

That would be priceless to see

[speciale]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

LMAO!

- Slide a merengue CD in your car player, turn the volume up to the max, get out of the car and start dancing on the highway (techno works very well too). If you're in the car with a few friends, start your own outdoor rave party.

Actually did that one with some friends in a traffic jam on one of the highways on our way out one night

People were honking their horns yelling for us to put the music louder

[Lorn]

Re: So when you are sitting.....

Actually did that one with some friends in a traffic jam on one of the highways on our way out one night

People were honking their horns yelling for us to put the music louder

hehe..cool