15 Best Police Comments

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  • RiseandShine
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Sep 2006
    • 2910

    15 Best Police Comments

    The following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country.
    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
    # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
    #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I 'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."
    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
    #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
    The envelope please...
    AND THE WINNER IS....
    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
    If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake
  • AndyH
    Platinum Poster
    • May 2005
    • 1786

    #2
    Re: 15 Best Police Comments

    That is hilarious..!!

    'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven'

    Absolute classic...
    [quote=lilsensa '] 'Who wants to sample size my ball sack?'

    Comment

    • Funky Dredd
      Are you Kidding me??
      • May 2005
      • 3701

      #3
      Re: 15 Best Police Comments

      #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

      hahahaha
      Mutations presents Change The Music

      Mutations (original show)

      Mutations presents Change The Music airs 4th Friday of the month on SaturoSounds



      Comment

      • unkownartist
        Banned
        • Nov 2005
        • 4146

        #4
        Re: 15 Best Police Comments

        Comment

        • speciale
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Dec 2005
          • 3728

          #5
          Re: 15 Best Police Comments

          Originally posted by Miroslav
          It's not like he grabbed his balls and sucked his dick. It's not like he gave the Saudis the original copy of the Constitution to use as toilet paper. It's not like he gave away the secret recipe to the Colonel's chicken. .
          No Soup for You

          Comment

          • pdowney
            Addiction started
            • Jun 2004
            • 326

            #6
            Re: 15 Best Police Comments

            Originally posted by RiseandShine
            #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


            I think we all know people who get this one wrong when sober.
            Philip

            Comment

            • BureOne
              Are you Kidding me??
              • Jun 2004
              • 3285

              #7
              Re: 15 Best Police Comments

              funny pigs

              Comment

              • speciale
                Are you Kidding me??
                • Dec 2005
                • 3728

                #8
                Re: 15 Best Police Comments

                Originally posted by BureOne
                funny pigs
                lmao, nice avatar
                Originally posted by Miroslav
                It's not like he grabbed his balls and sucked his dick. It's not like he gave the Saudis the original copy of the Constitution to use as toilet paper. It's not like he gave away the secret recipe to the Colonel's chicken. .
                No Soup for You

                Comment

                • BureOne
                  Are you Kidding me??
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 3285

                  #9
                  Re: 15 Best Police Comments

                  lol, specifically for this thread!

                  Comment

                  • rainman
                    Platinum Poster
                    • Dec 2005
                    • 1869

                    #10
                    Re: 15 Best Police Comments

                    @ # 1

                    Comment

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