Thirsty? Have a Coke

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  • RiseandShine
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Sep 2006
    • 2910

    Thirsty? Have a Coke

    Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? It?s because it gets you high. They took the cocaine out almost a hundred years ago. You know why? It was redundant.
    * In The First 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don?t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor allowing you to keep it down.
    * 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get it?s hands on into fat. (There?s plenty of that at this particular moment)
    * 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate, your blood pressure rises, as a response your livers dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked preventing drowsiness.
    * 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
    * >60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
    * >60 Minutes: The caffeine?s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you?ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolyte and water.
    * >60 minutes: As the rave inside of you dies down you?ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You?ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like even having the ability to hydrate your system or build strong bones and teeth.
    This will all be followed by a caffeine crash in the next few hours. (As little as two if you?re a smoker.) But, hey, have another Coke, it?ll make you feel better.
    If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake
  • TheMightyGreg
    Editor Shmeditor
    • Nov 2006
    • 1361

    #2
    Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

    Wierd to think that the coke in a JD and coke will fuck you up a hell of a lot more than the JD
    Catch my bi-monthly show on UB Radio

    http://www.ubradio.net/djs/greg-sawyer-99?sort=7

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    • AndyH
      Platinum Poster
      • May 2005
      • 1786

      #3
      Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

      The fact that it will totally clean a filthy coin just by leaving it in the glass is enough to put me off. Also, when I was in Asia a local way to sort out an upset stomach was to drink coke, to kill the bacteria!!!!
      [quote=lilsensa '] 'Who wants to sample size my ball sack?'

      Comment

      • Ikenator
        Getting warmed up
        • Jul 2005
        • 87

        #4
        Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

        dont forget the stuff eats battery acid...

        Comment

        • KinKyJ
          Platinum Poser
          • Jun 2004
          • 13438

          #5
          Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

          Originally posted by Ikenator
          dont forget the stuff eats battery acid...
          what are you raving about? coke is acid. never hear of an acid "eating" an other acid... moreover, battery acid is a solution which consists of +/- 51% sulphuric acid. I'd rather not have that shit in the pepsi challenge...

          Comment

          • RiseandShine
            Are you Kidding me??
            • Sep 2006
            • 2910

            #6
            Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

            Kinky, Coke is evil, it eats anything. it will even chase you down if you don't drink it
            If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

            Comment

            • alexfish333
              Gold Gabber
              • Jul 2004
              • 966

              #7
              Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

              Coca cola Syrup has been used for decades to soothe an upset stomach-it does work I grew up with that remedy
              Holosound@Vertigo in Costa Rica Streaming Video and Audio http://livestream.com/urbanettv/vide...8-c5911280cf91




              Part of the weekend never dies...

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              • KinKyJ
                Platinum Poser
                • Jun 2004
                • 13438

                #8
                Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                Originally posted by RiseandShine
                Kinky, Coke is evil, it eats anything. it will even chase you down if you don't drink it
                No it isn't. Victoria's Secret is evil. The American Decensy Association says so

                Comment

                • RiseandShine
                  Are you Kidding me??
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 2910

                  #9
                  Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                  kwak kwak, whatever you say darling
                  If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

                  Comment

                  • KinKyJ
                    Platinum Poser
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 13438

                    #10
                    Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                    je t'aime moi non plus, mon zizi coin coin

                    Comment

                    • Lrn
                      Are you Kidding me??
                      • Jan 2005
                      • 3233

                      #11
                      Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                      definatly drank too much when i was younger, not anymore thank god

                      Comment

                      • hambino21
                        PFC Semen Ham
                        • Jul 2004
                        • 863

                        #12
                        Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                        Originally posted by Ikenator
                        dont forget the stuff eats battery acid...
                        you mean it eats corrosion on battery terminals.
                        " Focus on the subtleties and the world becomes grander"

                        - Me-

                        Comment

                        • asdf_admin
                          i use to be important
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 12798

                          #13
                          Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                          i love acid and coke. coke 4 life.
                          dead, yet alive.

                          Comment

                          • rainman
                            Platinum Poster
                            • Dec 2005
                            • 1869

                            #14
                            Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                            coke had sex with my wife while i was at work

                            Comment

                            • demonAfro
                              Are you Kidding me??
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 3488

                              #15
                              Re: Thirsty? Have a Coke

                              Ha, gave that up cold turkey and have never felt better about myself.

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