101 things to say during sex

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • KinKyJ
    Platinum Poser
    • Jun 2004
    • 13438

    101 things to say during sex

    Since it's been a while since RiseAndShine posted a list...

    1. But everybody looks funny naked!

    2. You woke me up for that?

    3. Did I mention the video camera?

    4. Do you smell something burning?

    5. (In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...

    6. Try breathing through your nose.

    7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone!

    8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?

    9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?

    10. But whipped cream makes me break out.

    11. Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.

    12. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!

    13. Can you please pass me the remote control?

    14. Do you accept Visa?

    15. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

    17. And to think -- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

    18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.

    19. (Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

    20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

    21. (Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

    22. Do you get any premium movie channels?

    23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!

    24. (Preparing to incorporate peanut butter) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!

    25. Got any penicillin?

    26. But I just brushed my teeth...

    27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!

    28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

    29. I want a baby!

    30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!

    31. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

    32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

    33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

    34. I think you have it on backwards.

    35. When is this supposed to feel good?

    36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

    37. You're good enough to do this for a living!

    38. Is that blood on the headboard?

    39. Did I remember to take my pill?

    40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

    41. I wish we got the Playboy channel..

    42. That leak better be from the waterbed!

    43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

    44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..

    45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

    46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance.

    47. No, really.. I do this part better myself!

    48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

    49. This would be more fun with a few more people.

    50. You're almost as good as my ex!

    51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?

    52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

    53. You look younger than you feel.

    54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.

    55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!

    56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.

    57. Now I know why he/she dumped you..

    58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?

    59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.

    60. What tampon?

    61. Have you ever considered liposuction?

    62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!

    63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?

    64. I have a confession..

    65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!

    66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?

    67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?

    68. Is that a hanging sculpture?

    69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?

    70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?

    71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

    72. Did you come yet, dear?

    73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about..

    74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!

    75. Does this count as a date?

    76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

    77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.

    78. I think biting is romantic -- don't you?

    79. You can cook, too right?

    80. When would you like to meet my parents?

    81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like.. Woman: Yourself?

    82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?

    83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.

    84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.

    85. (In a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

    86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?

    87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.

    88. Sorry but I don't do toes!

    89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

    90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!

    91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper..

    92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".

    93. So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!

    94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

    95. Is this a sin too?

    96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!

    97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

    98. Long kisses clog my sinuses..

    99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise..

    100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

    101.You mean you're NOT my blind date?
  • Mr.Big
    Platinum Poster
    • Nov 2004
    • 1390

    #2
    Re: 101 things to say during sex

    I actually once during sex with an ex 'You really remind me of Sloth from the Goonies'..

    Then i held on and started shouting.. Okkk youu Guyyss. haha she was hot aswell.
    www.twitter.com/mikeoreilly
    Pimps up Hoes down.

    Comment

    • Yao
      DUDERZ get a life!!!
      • Jun 2004
      • 8167

      #3
      Re: 101 things to say during sex

      lmfao @ Big...
      Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.

      There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -Hemingway

      Comment

      • palmer
        Retired or Simply Important
        • Jun 2004
        • 5383

        #4
        Re: 101 things to say during sex

        .......
        todayistomorrow
        art direction | design | animation

        Comment

        • RiseandShine
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Sep 2006
          • 2910

          #5
          Re: 101 things to say during sex

          kwak kwak
          If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

          Comment

          • Lorn
            Looking for a title!
            • Sep 2004
            • 5826

            #6
            Re: 101 things to say during sex


            Comment

            • thesightless
              Someone will marry me. Hell Yeah!
              • Jun 2004
              • 13567

              #7
              Re: 101 things to say during sex

              ""shit , once i called a girl mom in bed"

              --randall, clerks.
              your life is an occasion, rise to it.

              Join My Chant. new mix. april 09. dirty fuck house.
              download that. deep shit listed there

              my dick is its own superhero.

              Comment

              • KinKyJ
                Platinum Poser
                • Jun 2004
                • 13438

                #8
                Re: 101 things to say during sex

                Originally posted by RiseandShine
                kwak kwak
                how I've missed that, mmm! I actually thought of you at Christmas dinner, Rise: smoked duck chest as entr?e

                Comment

                • lilsensa
                  DUDERZ get a life!!!
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 6675

                  #9
                  Re: 101 things to say during sex

                  once, during sexy intercourse, this girl asked me "your not gonna be like the rest of them and not call me after this are you?"

                  thats when i told her she had to leave...when i walked her to the door, she fell down my steps....i never heard from her or saw her again
                  RIP ~ Steve James







                  Comment

                  • Lorn
                    Looking for a title!
                    • Sep 2004
                    • 5826

                    #10
                    Re: 101 things to say during sex

                    ^Ouch.

                    Comment

                    • KinKyJ
                      Platinum Poser
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 13438

                      #11
                      Re: 101 things to say during sex

                      Originally posted by lilsensa
                      when i walked her to the door, she fell down my steps....i never heard from her or saw her again
                      so much for banging chicks in wheelchairs

                      Comment

                      • Mr.Big
                        Platinum Poster
                        • Nov 2004
                        • 1390

                        #12
                        Re: 101 things to say during sex

                        ahah nearly as good as my sloth comment but yeah i guess ill give you kudos for that. Although it is bad.... Bad for her lol..
                        www.twitter.com/mikeoreilly
                        Pimps up Hoes down.

                        Comment

                        • lilsensa
                          DUDERZ get a life!!!
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 6675

                          #13
                          Re: 101 things to say during sex

                          dude...thats not even the worst part of it....this was during high school...an acquaintance of mine comes up to me about a week later after that and asked me if i banged his sister...i did not know he had a sister...he was pissed
                          RIP ~ Steve James







                          Comment

                          • KinKyJ
                            Platinum Poser
                            • Jun 2004
                            • 13438

                            #14
                            Re: 101 things to say during sex

                            the shirt gave you away



                            Comment

                            Working...