-
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
holy shit,ive just found out i have budgie flu.
its not as bad as swine flu.
its tweetable!!
Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
thick walls,plenty of space,naked kids,no consequences!!!
carlsberg dont do homosexual paedophile rapist colonies with an unlimited supply of virgin boys....
but the catholic church does...Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
Very nice, but I think they may have misunderstood when I said, "I wanna watch."I wonder if this new healthcare thing covers my pre-existing condition: AWESOMENESS.Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
It was fun while it lasted...
Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
^^^^
Comment
-
The 'club spirit' is in the soul. It Never DiesOriginally posted by TheVrkComment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
1. A man comes into the ER and yells,
‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!’
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the
lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear..
Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs –
and I was in the wrong one!
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , San Antonio , TX
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed my stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patients anterior chest wall. ‘Big breaths,’ I instructed.
‘Yes, they used to be,’ replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA .
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news
when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later,
I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that
he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patients two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor,
that he was having trouble
with one of his medications. ‘Which one?’ I asked.
‘The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I’m running
out of places to put it!’
I had him quickly undress, and discovered what
I hoped I wouldn’t see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’
After a look of complete confusion,
she answered…
‘Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.’
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR
6. I was caring for a woman and asked, ‘So, how’s your breakfast this morning?’
‘It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly I can’t seem to get used to the taste,’ the patient replied.
I then asked to see the
jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled
‘KY Jelly.’
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and
above it there was a tattoo that read, ‘Keep off the grass.’ Once the
surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patients
dressing, which said, ‘Sorry, had to mow the lawn.’
Submitted by RN, no name
AND FINALLY…
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment,
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and
sheepishly said, ‘I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’
She replied, ‘No doctor, but the song you were whistling was,
‘I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’
Submitted by a Doctor who wouldn’t give his name, for obvious reasons!If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William BlakeComment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
When visitors go the courthouse in St. Lucie, FL they must surrender their personal items for inspection.Clinton J. Gordon, pictured, went to the courthouse Tuesday and surprised the security checkpoint guard by allegedly placing his marijuana pipe in the tray.
www.mjwebhosting.com
Jib says:
he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shittingOriginally posted by ace_dlComment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Two gay men are walking down the street, and one decides to kick a can he sees on the ground.
Smoke comes out from the can and a genie appears. "Thank you for releasing me from my can. I will grant you 3 wishes."
The first gay man says, "okay, I want a HUGE mansion, decorated in all white and everything furnished." "Okay," says the genie, and poof!
The gay men appear in front of a mansion.
The second gay man says, "okay, for our second wish, I want two matching Lincoln Towncars, all white with white interior and fully loaded." Poof! Two cars, made to order.
For the third wish, one of the gay men walks up and whispers something into the genie's ear. "I'll be back at 7 PM." 7 PM rolls around and there's a knock on the door.
Both men are excited, and when they open the door, there is a group of Klu Klux Klan members on their front lawn. "What the fuck did you wish?" says the first man. "I just wished to be hung like a black man!"I wonder if this new healthcare thing covers my pre-existing condition: AWESOMENESS.Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
A man is walking across a bridge when he finds a young girl about to jump off, she tells him to not try and stop her.
So he says "OK, but Can I have a blowjob?"
Surprisingly she agrees and gets on with it.
"Wow" he says "That is one amazing talent going to waste there, why would you want to jump for?"
She replies "because my Mom and Dad hate me dressing up as a girl ".I wonder if this new healthcare thing covers my pre-existing condition: AWESOMENESS.Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
^^haha
The largest room in the world, is the room for improvement!Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Good news for adventurous tourists: Book a flight with Air France now and you could win the chance to see the Titanic!
----------
A Jewish boy walks up to his father and asks him for five dollars. His father replies, "four dollars? what do you need three dollars for?"
----------
Michael J Fox walks into an ice cream store, asks for an ice cream.
Dude says "Sure, what flavour?"
Michael J Fox tells him "It doesn't matter, I'm just going to fucking drop it anyway".
----------
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. Wife is in bed.
Man: Hey honey, I'd like to introduce you to the pig I've been fucking.
Wife: That's not a pig, that's a sheep.
Man: I wasn't talking to you.I wonder if this new healthcare thing covers my pre-existing condition: AWESOMENESS.Comment
-
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Some years ago, Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community.
After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.
So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the Veterinarian since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in the village.
The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his mother and father would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding with a big towel. This would cool her down and make her relax.
So the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.
So the couple hired a strong young man from Dublinto wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.
After many efforts, Maggie still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet.
The Vet said for her to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Paddy waved the big towel.
They tried it that night and Maggie went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.
When it was over, Paddy looked down at the exhausted young man and in a boasting voice said: 'And that, me son, is how ya waves a fekkin' towel!'
The largest room in the world, is the room for improvement!Comment
Tweet
MercuryServer, MercuryServer Logo and all uniquely developed images are the sole property of MercuryServer.com. Unauthorized use is strictly prohibited.
Comment