A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

In the sleepy village of Erbum,near the town of Tillet in Hertfordshire,lives a woman called Sue Lykes.She is the land-lady of the local pub,The Cock Inn.All her mail is addressed to:
Sue Lykes
The Cock Inn
Erbum
Tillet
Herts

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.' He did and warmed his hands.

The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, 'My nose is cold.' The girl replied, 'Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up.' He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.' The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her Mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?' Slightly concerned the mother said, 'Why, yes, Why do you ask?' The daughter replies: They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?

so wrong!!!

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Altzheimers protest march.................

''What do we want?''.........

''Fuck knows''

''When do we want it?''.........

'Want what?''

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

altzheimers protest march.................

''what do we want?''.........

''fuck knows''

''when do we want it?''.........

'want what?''

:d:d:d

[fyrestarter]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.

The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.' He did and warmed his hands.

The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, 'My nose is cold.' The girl replied, 'Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up.' He did and warmed his nose.

The next day the boyfriend was again driving the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.' The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her Mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?' Slightly concerned the mother said, 'Why, yes, Why do you ask?' The daughter replies: They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?

[MJ]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Yesterday my Mrs said she wanted a rape alarm, so being the perfect partner I am I granted her wish.

At 6.30 am this morning I tied her hands behind her back, taped her mouth shut and fucked her up the arse. Then I whispered in her ear "It's time to get up honey"

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A dyslexic kid ask his mum if he can have a Mc Donalds.

She says 'certainly son,if you can spell it.'

He replies 'fuck it il just have a K.C.F.'

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Altzheimers protest march.................

''What do we want?''.........

''Fuck knows''

''When do we want it?''.........

'Want what?''

[RiseandShine]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. One day she picked up the urn he was in, and poured him out on the coffee table.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes. She said, “You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?” She answered by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!”
She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?” She answered again saying, “Well, I bought it with the insurance money!”
Then she said, “And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn’t afford?”
Once more she answered saying, “Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love living here.”
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, “Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes . . .”

[feather]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great.........that's just great.... Some asshole's got my pen!'

Awesome.

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Subject: How to speak about men and be politically correct

1. We do not have a BEER GUT - We have developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.

2. We are not BAD DANCERS - We are OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. We do not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - We INVESTIGATE ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.

4. We are not BALDING - We are in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. We are not CRADLE SNATCHERS - We prefer GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

6. We do not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - We become ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. We do not act like a TOTAL ARSE - We develop a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.

8. We are not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - We have SWINE EMPATHY.

9. We are not afraid of COMMITMENT - We are just MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. It’s not our “CRACK” you see hanging out of our pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

2 blokes are chatting in a pub.
1st bloke says 'i pulled and shagged twins last night'
2nd bloke says 'nice one mate,but how did you tell them apart?'
1st bloke eplies 'that was easy her brother had a beard'

Stellar

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

tom chaplin of the band keane said that they are the new pink floyd.all because they done show that you can watch in 3d


aye right!

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What did Jesus say to his twelve apostles as he was being nailed to the cross?

Don't any of you bastards touch my fucking easter eggs,il b back on monday!

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

2 blokes are chatting in a pub.
1st bloke says 'i pulled and shagged twins last night'
2nd bloke says 'nice one mate,but how did you tell them apart?'
1st bloke eplies 'that was easy her brother had a beard'