A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[DIDI]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

Wait, why am I laughing ??

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What did Michael Jackson ask R. Kelly?

You got two 5's for a 10?

[Micko]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What is a dangerous insect?




Hepatitis B

[Micko]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?






A sanitary owl.

Brilliant - broke my shite laughing

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

contains swearing right at the end (FYI)

Liver and Pineapple pizza

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPKqCgdLpDE[/YOUTUBE]

[poults]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Whats red and white and sits in a tree?






A sanitary owl.

[Micko]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Where is it dangerous to swim?

In Hepatitus C

[Steve Graham]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A guy goes to his doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor checks him out, and, after the exam, he says, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news." The guy asks, "What's the good news?" "I see no sign of cancer or any other disease -- I can pretty much give you a clean bill of health," says the doctor. "So then what's the bad news?" asks the guy, puzzled. "You have to stop masturbating," the doctor replies. "What? Why?" asks the guy. "It's kind of making me uncomfortable," says the doctor.

this gave me a good laugh

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A guy goes to his doctor for a prostate exam. The doctor checks him out, and, after the exam, he says, "Well, I have some good news and some bad news." The guy asks, "What's the good news?" "I see no sign of cancer or any other disease -- I can pretty much give you a clean bill of health," says the doctor. "So then what's the bad news?" asks the guy, puzzled. "You have to stop masturbating," the doctor replies. "What? Why?" asks the guy. "It's kind of making me uncomfortable," says the doctor.

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer,

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her. He's naked as well! The b****!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his d*ck off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a thousand dollars here....."

[poults]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

It is now illegal to wear clothes on the wrong parts of your body, take Gary Glitter for instance-he was arrested for putting a thai on his cock.

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

I had a dog named Minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad Minton.

[RiseandShine]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what’s natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Bob and Tom’s resistance to nature’s urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So they buried Debbie.