A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[RiseandShine]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A group on nuns were traveling in a car when it got a flat tire. They got out and tried to change it, but being rather unworldly did not know how to do it.
Luckily, a truck came along and the male driver offered to change it for them. They gladly accepted. As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack. “Son of a bitch,” he yelled.
The eldest nun said to him, “That is not nice language. We understand that you are upset, but you mustn’t use such language.”
“Sorry, Sister”, he said, and tried again. Again it slipped, this time almost mashing his fingers. “Son of a bitch,” he yelled again.
“Please, don’t use such language. If changing our tire is causing you to do so, it would be better if you didn’t help us.”
“But I get so upset, and it just comes out.”
“Well,” said the nun, “say something else when you get upset, something ike ‘Sweet Jesus, help me’”.
So the trucker tried to jack up the car again. Again it slipped.
He started to say “So..”, but he corrected himself and said, “Sweet Jesus help me.” At that, the car just lifted up into the air by itself.
The nuns looked at the car floating a foot above the ground and in unison exclaimed, “Son of a bitch!”

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Proffessor doing a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions which was a pretty boring lecture. To spice up his lecture he turns to a pretty girl in the front and and says "do you know what your arsehole is doing while you are having an orgasm" to which she replied

"Probably out fishing and drinking with his mates"!

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.

The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the department manager.

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.

"Simple," said the department manager, "Your fellow applicant answered question #5, 'I don't know.' You answered, 'Neither do I.'"

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^ ah the belgicum sense of humour!

[KinKyJ]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

There are three cops that come to this bar everyday after work. Cop 1 and Cop 2 are veterans and Cop 3 is a rookie.

One day Cop 1 comes into the bar very happy, buying drinks, giving drinks, spending money. Cop 2 and 3 ask, "Why are you so happy, won the lottery?". Cop 1 replies, "No, I was having sex with my wife, missionary style, and when I was about to cum I shot my gun off and her pussy got so tight... man I had the best orgasm of my life". Cops 2 and 3 laughed about it.

The next day Cop 2 comes into the bar. He is all happy and jolly,bying drinks and having a great mood. Cop 1 and 3 ask, "What happened why are you so happy?" Cop 2 replies, "I tried your advice. I was having sex with my wife, doggy style, when I was about to cum, I shot my gun and just like you said it would her pusssy got tight as hell and had the best orgasm of my life".

The next day Cop 3 comes into the bar. He is very mad pushing people, kicking chairs and the other two veteran officers ask, "What happened?". Cop 3 says, "I took your advice. I was 69 my wife and when I was about to come i shot off my gun and the bitch almost bit my dick off and she shit in my face".