A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What as*hole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them".

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!".

to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we ****ed all day"

"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head"

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young mothers and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed
with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is
with money. Again, it manifests itself in your
child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is
alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name,
Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got
up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
'Come on, Dick, we're leaving.'

[trick12]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^ nice one

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

did u hear about the new aftershave for men called ''breadcrumbs''
apparently the birds love it.................

[runningman]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives Women CRAZY??




Money

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^ hahahaha

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies"
"Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?"
"Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket.
The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?"
"Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey.
"That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?"
With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy.
"That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?"
"Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a w***er

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a
few minutes the old man lets out a loud fart and says "one-nil."
His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The old man says, "A goal. I'm ahead one-nil."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Goal! One all."
The old boy farts again. "Goal! I'm ahead 2-1."
Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says,
"Goal! 2 all."
The old man tries to fart again, but cannot. Trying desperately not
to be out-done by his wife, he gives it everything he has to get out
just one more fart.
He strains a little too hard and sh*ts the bed.
The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides."

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man walks up to a girl in a nightclub and says, 'Hi my name's bond', The girl replies, 'don't tell me James?'. The man says, 'No, uni I'm here to fill your crack!'.

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Latvian girl is say, "I want go America one day."
Father say, "I send you America."
Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use for salty potato.
Father think moment, say, "Daughter, I no send you America."
Potato is more salt.

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

top class ^