A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

lol

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Dear Santa,
Dont bother coming to bring me loads of presents like you normally do this year.
I already have too much stuff.
Thanks,Leroy aged 8 from Tottenham,London,England.

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

holy fuck is it really this^^^^^^ long from someone put a joke up??
this must b why iv not been on much,uz r all gettin too serious obviously....
well,read the next post....

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

I organized a threesome last night...There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time.

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man and his son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?"
The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"
"Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied.
The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"
"Yeah" said the son.
"Well, what about after sex?" said the son. His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"!!!

[Garrick]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

all those are funny dhar! keep em comin.

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

My doctor asked me if I drank to excess.

I told him I would drink to anything.

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other " hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him." So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?" The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence?" The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisors hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says "That's intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and his co-worker says "Hey what did he say?" With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says "hita my hand as hard as you can.. .

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't know what please meant ...
* In China, they didn't know what opinion meant ...
* In the Middle East, they didn't know what solution meant ...
* In Europe, they didn't know what shortage meant ...
* In Africa, they didn't know what food meant ...
* In the United States, they didn't know what the rest of the world meant ...

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. "When I was a girl, you could go out with a shilling and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken."
"Yes," says Harry, "that's inflation for you."
"It's nothing to do with inflation," says grandma, "it's all them fucking CCTV cameras they have nowadays."

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores."

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail.
After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

[Dhar_2]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years.

One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

“Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said.

The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

[fumanchu182]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Wacky Quotes :

2. Always Remember : No matter how hot & sexy a girl is, someone, somewhere is tired of fucking her.

So true so true.

[Kamal]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Wacky Quotes :

1. Always marry a woman with small palms. It will make your dick look bigger.

2. Always Remember : No matter how hot & sexy a girl is, someone, somewhere is tired of fucking her.

3. The importance of UNITY explained at it's best: What did one leg of a women tell the other - "UNITED we are saved, Divided we are fucked". =D

4. All those who proclaim that dog is man's best friend, have evidently not played with a pussy. X_X

5. The irony of a blow job is that even though you have her at your feet - ultimately, she's got you by the balls.