A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems.

"Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor.

"Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."

[runningman]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives Women CRAZY??




Money

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

did u hear about the new aftershave for men called ''breadcrumbs''
apparently the birds love it.................

[trick12]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^^^ nice one

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young mothers and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed
with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is
with money. Again, it manifests itself in your
child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is
alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name,
Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got
up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,
'Come on, Dick, we're leaving.'

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!".

to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we ****ed all day"

"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head"

[88Mariner]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What as*hole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them".

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

:d

[Steve Graham]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

my computer has been broken for a while as u can see people.
but im in the process of getting my 'puter fixed.....................

I don't get it?

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

my computer has been broken for a while as u can see people.
but im in the process of getting my 'puter fixed.....................

[DIDI]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

ZEN Teachings ...

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for
I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact,
just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a
couple of bond repayments.

7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and
he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone R20 and never see that person again, it was
probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... And most of that comes from
bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one
works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it..

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass - then
things just keep getting worse.

20.. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night

There is actually some stuff to live by there

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Glass coffins. Do you think they'll ever be a success?
Remains to be seen

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Did you hear of the frenchman who suffered with OCD?

He washes once a day

[nick007]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A guy gets invited to a fancy dress party and has to come as an emotion.......

After some thought he hits the shops and buys 3 viagra and a box of ready made custard.

He arrives stark naked with a huge erection with the empty box of custard stuck on penis....

The host is horrified and asks him what he is doing.........

he says he has come as an emotion .....

He is fucking disgusted!!!