A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[bobjuice]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate do you think
a/ you need more time together
b/ she's a prude
c/ she should of sat elsewhere on the bus

[Steve Graham]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

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Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

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Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

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"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

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"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

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"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.


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A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

hahaha, i like these

[GAVIN.MCAVOY]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

they say that fruit is good for constipation,id have to agree.
i got my orange phone bill through today and i shit myself

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

^ LMAO that is a good one. it's one beneficent circle

[Kamal]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room..

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best
friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday : A 30,000 square foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.

And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'

[DIDI]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

I love this thread!!

[floridaorange]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

[Kamal]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man e...nough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

cheap mexican pregnancy test...insert burrito in vagina and remove after 30 sec. if it's half eaten there's a little beaner in there

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man e...nough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

[floridaorange]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your m...ind?"The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wak...es up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

[i!!ustrious]

Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....

There are four kinds of sex :HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.HALL SEX - After you've been married for ma...ny, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.