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Jib says:
he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shittingOriginally posted by ace_dl -
Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
It was fun while it lasted...
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
I love this thread!!
The 'club spirit' is in the soul. It Never DiesOriginally posted by TheVrkComment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room..
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best
friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday : A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him.
And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.'www.mjwebhosting.com
Jib says:
he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shittingOriginally posted by ace_dlComment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
^ LMAO that is a good one. it's one beneficent circle
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
they say that fruit is good for constipation,id have to agree.
i got my orange phone bill through today and i shit myself
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate do you think
a/ you need more time together
b/ she's a prude
c/ she should of sat elsewhere on the busComment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED...
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.Last edited by i!!ustrious; September 18, 2009, 10:41:05 AM.(((( }-d|-__-|b-{ ))))Comment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
its not hard to tell which celebrity raped Jordan.
judging by the look of young Harvey it was Clyde from Every Which Way But Loose
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother.
It says: "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle... it makes your nose look too short."
Love,
Grandmawww.mjwebhosting.com
Jib says:
he isnt worth the water that splashes up into your asshole while you're shittingOriginally posted by ace_dlComment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south.
The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I
hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate
lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and
dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were
filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead.
How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of
railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman
tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks,
and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so
tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."
"Wow" the first guy exclaimed, "Your day was MUCH better than mine.
Did you get a blow job, too?"
"Nah," says the second friend over his meal, "I couldn't find her head."
It was fun while it lasted...Comment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
^^Copied from a post in a thread from 2 years ago
It was fun while it lasted...Comment
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Re: A drunken man walks into a biker bar.....
Got this one in my email today:
A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party.. The wife got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.. He, being a
devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some
aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by
not going.. So he took his Batman costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain,
and, as it was still early, decided to go to the party. In as much as her
husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun
by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She put on a Goldilocks costume. So she joined the party and soon spotted her
husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he
could cuddle with and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His
wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new
partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he
wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After some more to drink he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear
and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie in the
back seat.
Just before unmasking , she slipped away and went home and put her costume
away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for
his outrageous behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he
had. 'Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not
there.' Then she asked, 'Did you dance much?' He replied, 'I'll tell you, I
never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some
other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening.'
'You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume playing poker
all night!' she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, 'Actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad.
Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with a hottie in a
Goldilocks outfit'Comment
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