How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

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  • Wanni
    Addiction started
    • Jun 2004
    • 423

    How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

    I need to know how to make an email newsletter. Any advice?
    NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Lorn
    Looking for a title!
    • Sep 2004
    • 5826

    #2
    Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

    Kamal? You gonna permit this?

    Comment

    • skahound
      Someone MARRY ME!! LOL
      • Jun 2004
      • 11411

      #3
      Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

      Two weeks in time-out Wanni. Your sentence begins now.
      A good shower head and my right hand - the two best lovers that I ever had.

      Comment

      • Miguel
        Are you Kidding me??
        • Oct 2005
        • 3182

        #4
        Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

        good ridance

        Comment

        • KinKyJ
          Platinum Poser
          • Jun 2004
          • 13438

          #5
          Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

          I'd say: learn Dutch and read my book on writing for the web and internet journalism.

          Nah, kidding, I'll toss in a few tips...

          Before you start you might wanna collect all newsletters you're getting and list the things you like about them as well as things that you don't like. That's always good source of inspiration.

          Tip 1. Watch your design:
          make sure that your newsletter can be displayed correctly by any application on any platform at any resolution. You can use HTML for this, but watch it with "funky" elements like tables and what not.

          Apart from that you should make sure that the design helps the reader to navigate faster and easier in the text. Just making it look fancy isn't enough and often messes up the readability of the content.

          Tip 2. Present the content: a table of content in the beginning of the newsletter (in this issue: ...) helps the recipient to scan quickly for interesting topics. When you have to scroll through the entire thing a lot of people will lose interest before they reach 50%.

          Tip 3. KISS (keep it short & simple):
          use short sentences, short paragraphs and stick to the point. This is easier and faster to read. If you want to give more info, make a link to a webpage with "the full story."

          Tip 4. Get more through by communicating less:
          don't send too many newsletters in a certain period of time. Mailboxes are overloaded enough as it is and people will stop reading or opt out if they get a newsletter every week or so. Just make sure you have enough interesting things to communicate before you start communicating.

          Tip 5. Don't overflow your readers:
          this might sound a tad contradictory to what I wrote in tip 4, but try to limit the number of items in your newsletter to say 5. Too many items will confuse the reader.

          Tip 6. Mind the mail subject: try to come up with an original and informative subject line and use this format for every newsletter. That way recipients will find your mail faster in their inbox. Also mind the spam filters: use a subject and sender name which are filter safe. You might want to test this by sending a dummy mail to a couple of friends who use hotmail, yahoo, gmail, work mail, ...

          What platform or system are you using to manage your addresses btw? Keeping everything in a txt file and adding/deleting recipients manually can be done, but it takes a lot of work.

          If you want to you can mail me your first edition for review before you send it out. Just PM me.

          Comment

          • Lorn
            Looking for a title!
            • Sep 2004
            • 5826

            #6
            Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

            Thats serious business.

            Comment

            • Miroslav
              WHOA I can change this!1!
              • Apr 2006
              • 4122

              #7
              Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

              yeah...at first I thought he was just making it all up and being a smartass. but there seems to be genuine content in there
              mixes: www.waxdj.com/miroslav

              Comment

              • Lorn
                Looking for a title!
                • Sep 2004
                • 5826

                #8
                Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                Perhaps we underestimated the fellow.

                Comment

                • geoffgulley
                  Platinum Poster
                  • Apr 2005
                  • 2002

                  #9
                  Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                  Originally posted by Lorn
                  Perhaps we underestimated the fellow.
                  bwahahaahahaahahaahahaaahhahah........



                  hahhahhhaahahhah......


                  i mean, maybe.
                  "only dead fish swim with the stream..." Malcolm Muggeridge





                  Comment

                  • Lorn
                    Looking for a title!
                    • Sep 2004
                    • 5826

                    #10
                    Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas


                    Comment

                    • Wanni
                      Addiction started
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 423

                      #11
                      Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                      Hmmm... it seems that the only person I should thank in this thread is Kinky. The rest of you will be getting spammed a 100 times a day. Hahahahahahahhaha!!!!!

                      Kinky, I will PM you about this topic soon.
                      NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Comment

                      • Lorn
                        Looking for a title!
                        • Sep 2004
                        • 5826

                        #12
                        Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                        Only Kinky is worth anything around here. You should know that.

                        Comment

                        • KinKyJ
                          Platinum Poser
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 13438

                          #13
                          Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                          Originally posted by Lorn
                          Only Kinky is worth anything around here. You should know that.
                          Thank god for boob power

                          Comment

                          • Lorn
                            Looking for a title!
                            • Sep 2004
                            • 5826

                            #14
                            Re: How to make a newsletter so I can spam all y'all muthas

                            Righteous.

                            Comment

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