Californians

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  • RiseandShine
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Sep 2006
    • 2910

    Californians

    So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this, you know you're from California if:
    1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
    2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
    3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
    4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
    5. You can't remember. . Is pot illegal?
    6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
    7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
    8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
    9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
    10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
    11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
    12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
    13. You can't remember ....is pot illegal????
    14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
    15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones and iPods.
    16. Its barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
    17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
    18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
    19. The Terminator is your governor.
    20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one
    If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake
  • thesightless
    Someone will marry me. Hell Yeah!
    • Jun 2004
    • 13567

    #2
    Re: Californians

    you beleive that an art history degree really is a wise career decision and should lead to riches

    you only got a baseball team b/c NY became too expensive

    you have been in a fistfight with hypoluxxa. (over shoes)

    somehow you avoid paying rent by surfing.

    you are originally from south/central america.

    you kept electing people who bankrupted your state, but just couldnt vote republican until hollywood said so.
    your life is an occasion, rise to it.

    Join My Chant. new mix. april 09. dirty fuck house.
    download that. deep shit listed there

    my dick is its own superhero.

    Comment

    • AntonyM
      DUDERZ get a life!!!
      • Oct 2004
      • 6415

      #3
      Re: Californians

      Relishing in the fact it only took 2 hrs to get work instead of 3.
      Originally posted by Shpira
      So came back last night...
      Sven Vath was amazing...he played a god damn killer set...ended up going to that and came to at like 10 am in some whore house in south Amsterdam...no idea how I ended up there...friday was a bit of a blur got really drunk and visited several parties can't remember a whole lot to be honest hehe...saturday was probably the best day that I recall...started up in the nearest coffee shop and going from party to party...beautiful woman, beer and weed...finished the night by taking some shrooms and listening to an amazing elke kleijn set...sunday...i met a nice girl who worked at one of the coffee shops and ended up talking to her for like 6 hours...was supposed to meet her at some DnB party...but instead went for a steak and walked around red light district bars drinking and smoking...monday took it easy went to a coffee shop and took a taxi to airport....

      All in all...I think I will be going back there some time soon
      Originally posted by Illuminate
      Let me get this straight.

      So white-middle class Americans have been told by their Television sets to be fearful of:

      1. Mexicans/Latinos from the South bringing drugs and killings n' shit.
      2. African Americans cause mos def they are raging a race war and want to occupy America like how the plebs occupied Wall St.
      3. Iranians/Afghans/Any one of middle eastern origin to be quite frank, cause you know Islam...
      4. North Koreans/Chinese cause you know everything...

      Am I close here?

      Comment

      • floridaorange
        I'm merely a humble butler
        • Dec 2005
        • 29116

        #4
        Re: Californians

        I'm pretty sure pot is legal...right?

        It was fun while it lasted...

        Comment

        • BureOne
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Jun 2004
          • 3285

          #5
          Re: Californians

          ^ Maybe... Im not sure.

          Nice one (again) Riser!

          Comment

          • hypoluxxa
            Are you Kidding me??
            • Jun 2004
            • 3371

            #6
            Re: Californians

            Originally posted by thesightless
            you beleive that an art history degree really is a wise career decision and should lead to riches

            you only got a baseball team b/c NY became too expensive

            you have been in a fistfight with hypoluxxa. (over shoes)

            somehow you avoid paying rent by surfing.

            you are originally from south/central america.

            you kept electing people who bankrupted your state, but just couldnt vote republican until hollywood said so.
            That's right bitches!!! Get away from those Dunks.

            Comment

            • palmer
              Retired or Simply Important
              • Jun 2004
              • 5383

              #7
              Re: Californians

              prettay ...prettay..... prettay good
              todayistomorrow
              art direction | design | animation

              Comment

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