Women in our times

[groffhibbitz]

This is a long rant, but if you want to just skip to my question, either read the topic description or scroll to the last paragraph.

I am fed up with this shit. Okay, so I have dated a few girls for a good enough time that I was in a real 'relationship' with them. Each of them, in their own way, had an idea of what they expected a guy to do. Most girls I've met say that they don't believe a guy should have to open a door for a girl all the time, but they like it. Okay, fine, I will do all the guy things I'm supposed to do, within reason. I mean, one girl got mad because I walked in front of her. She actually got mad at me and said I was being 'rude' because I fucking walked three steps in front of her going to the movie theatre to open the door for her! Specifically, I picked up my pace a little to catch a door that was closing and hold it open. Okay, that is a little nuts.

Now for each girl I have dated I could give you a list of all the things that a guy had to do. Some might say they were things a guy 'had to do' or 'I expect a guy to do X' or 'I think a guy should ....' but they all had a list. I mean, some girls were more together, and could give me the list. Some weren't quite as on top of things, but I could tell you their list for sure.

But the one thing that has continuted to piss me off, more and more, is that for every girl, after I listen to them tell me all the things that a guy is supposed to do, give me a blank fucking stare when I ask them what they think a girl should do.

I just don't fucking get it.

I'm a guy. When girls ask me what a girl should do, don't have a list for them. Many guys say a girl should cook, but I have never dated a single girl that ever cooked any damn thing for me, except twice on my birthday, and both times the food fucking sucked. I mean what the fuck! I eat every god damned day, and so does everybody else, and the food doesn't make it's damn self, so someone out there must be making some food, right? But I don't know what did it, but every girl I know (with like 2 exceptions) doesn't cook, and can't cook. Plus, I feel like if a girl wants a guy to do all this shit for her, she is 'traditional' but if a guy wants a girl to do anything for him, he's all the sudden a chauvinist.

And I cook, and have cooked for all my girlfriends on numerous occasions.

So once again, no girl has every given me a single fucking answer to the question of what a girl is supposed to do for a guy. In this modern age, I can't even answer it myself. But I do know that it doesn't seem quite right.

I just picture some hot girl (or guy), who knows she's hot because she has had guys of all ages stare at her ever since she was 13, and besides never having to develop any sort of personality or sense of humor, Or even ones that do. They have guys lining up, and they have absolutely no motivation to do anything for a guy. I mean, the guy has to woo the girl. I even have a friend who tells me he dated a girl whereby he payed for all the meals, and even for her gas money when she drove to see him. I even have another friend whose girlfriend of 5 years absolutely never drives to see him. Even if he invites her to his house for a family gathering he has to drive and pick her up and then drop her off at the end and drive back home. I mean what is going on here?

Maybe I'm just not meeting the right girls? Or what? I feel like I have met a lot of girls, and between the midwest USA and the west coast, I see no difference, and I believe my viewpoints hold true for the vast majority of girls that I have met. And I'm not stricly going after the most beautiful girls or anything, I have dated an extremely varied sampling of girls. I mean, it seems like they have guys bending over backwards for them.

So I finally ask, can someone give me a list of things that girls are supposed to do for guys in relationships?

[esef]

i'd say head.
getting head from a girl is always nice.

*thinking*

















*still thinking*













yup, head. that just about does it. :wink:

[MJ]

Re: Women in our times

Thats just it groff, you`re not supposed to get it. Women are highly complex human beings sent here to test us simple men.... ya gotta love em though.

this picture might give you a little insite into how they work, i particulary like the 3rd one down.

[ubiqe]

I get a slight impression that you haven't eaten your breakfast today...

[factorg]

....

^^not a lie told in that post


Your not dating the right women bro. If she is full of shit or just not pleasing you move on, find another one.

A woman will do things for you if she wants to, as simple as that, if she doen't want to do things for you, she either doesn't like you enough or is a lazy cow, either way, move on, find another one.

[ubiqe]

A woman will do things for you if she wants to, as simple as that

I guess that sums it up well.

[Kinetic]

Re: Women in our times

Like MJ said, you?re not supposed to "get it". Believe me, I?ve given up trying to quite some time ago.

One thing I don?t do, when I get into a relationship, though, is thinking of "lists", or stuff a guy or a girl is supposed to do.

Especially when you?re trying to get to know the person, it?s a day-to-day process, and if you or her isn?t willing to go through that, you might as well dump her soon, or at least after some wild sex, or something...

I don?t know...I only partially understand what you?re trying to say because there?s still some cultural differences between the USA and most of Southern Europe in that aspect...society still expects girls to behave a certain way and do certain things, but it is slowly changing to a point where a lot of girls behave like groff described.

Personally, I?ve always been the kind of guy who was never attracted to the girl everyone at the office thought was the hottest. The hottest girls are usually not funny, interesting and have too many quirks for my patience to stand. So I?ve never quite experienced what groff is saying.

However...a few days ago, I was arriving at the office, and I caught the elevator with two of my colleagues, and they were carrying shopping bags with food. I said "you want some help with that?", and they both said No, but started saying "wow, not many guys make that kind of offer nowadays, you?re really sweet" and stuff like "we miss the days when there were true gentlemen"...on the other hand, I know if you start being too gentleman-like, they?ll find you boring and too submissive...

Just go with the flow, man...

[Garrick]

Re: Women in our times

try getting them interested and then ignoring them. they seem to like you more when you don't pay any attention to them. don't ask me why.

for the most part, i agree with what you've said, but i have dated some girls that have been genuinely great and considerate. its just hard to find that girl.

[groffhibbitz]

Re: Women in our times

Okay, first of all those charts are hilarious. Second, I am not into making lists either, I love to get to know someone and see what they have to offer, and who they are, and how they express their feelings. The best things that any girls have done for me were things that they thought would be nice but they didn't know if I would like or not. It was things from the heart, you know? But what are things that girls do for guys that are so great? I mean, a few of you have mentioned 'not finding a good girl' and 'I've dated some nice girls' or whatever, but what makes them stand apart from the rest?

[hear_my_name]

Re: Women in our times

well as a girl, yea us girls are hard to handle. im sure my bf has had his share time with me.. but i mean its been great.. there are some things that i would love for him to do but dont get a huge attitude about it.. and there are things that im sure he wants me to do but i havent yet done it.. like cook for him.. even thou i say im a great cook.. i havnet yet showed him.. :cry: but i mean guys shouldnt make lists.. i mean if u made a list that bugs u about the girl u start thinkin about her flaws and break up.. just look at the relationship as it being great or is it just ok.. those are the things u have to look into... but really, just let things flow.. dont push ne thing and if a girl asks for to much then maybe it wanst ment to be.. but if u two are cool with each other and enjoys each others company then stick it thru and see where it takes u..

[picklemonkey]

Re: Women in our times

try getting them interested and then ignoring them. they seem to like you more when you don't pay any attention to them. don't ask me why.

This is sad, but I see this one all the time. It seems like if you give them all your attention they don't want anything to do with you... but once you act like you don't give a shit they'll definitely want their way (whether it's really what they want in the longrun or not)

Prime example:
A few months ago one of my good friends that I've known for like 6 years was drinking at my place. She got really, really drunk and I told her to go to sleep in my bed. She was always making out with me when all this happened, and I didn't plan on fucking her or anything, I just wanted her to go to bed because she was too fcking drunk. She wanted her way and insisted that she didn't. "You'll molest me! I'm not tired! No!" etc. She knows I won't molest her, it's one of those friends that you just trust right. So after fighting a bit I went to bed, woke up the next morning and found out she gave my roommate head (who has a girlfriend, and both of them promised me long ago that they wouldn't go after the other). She showed up at my house 5 minutes after I found out (didn't know I knew) and I was realllll pissed off at her. Told her to leave my fucking house, didn't want to see her, etc. Remember in the long run she wants nothing to do with me, but that day she wouldn't quit trying to rub all over me to "make things better." The more I kept telling her to get the fuck away from me, the more she couldn't get away from me. She even crawled into bed with me that night when I tried getting away from her.

I know another that expects (never says anything about it if you don't) you to open car doors/building doors for her, which I can handle... but I really don't know if she does much to reciprocate "the woman's role," if they have one.

Anyways... I know a lot of girls that think "chivalry is dead', but I agree... I don't think I know any girls that act like they have roles in a relationship. Seems like they all just expect you to be nice, otherwise you're "mean to me!" Groff, I want to know the answer as much as you do.