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- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
- Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now." - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
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If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake -
Re: How to tick people off
http://www.myspace.com/mjdubmusic
You can't have manslaughter without laughter.
"Son," he said without preamble, "never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl." -
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Re: How to tick people off
I just act myself and that usually ticks them off really well.Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake - Napoleon BonaparteComment
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Re: How to tick people off
Bouncing a pingpong ball on the table during a meeting!
Taking a dump with the toilet lid down.
Superglueing people's phones.
Putting Tip-Ex on the optical eye of a mouse.
Screaming your mother's name when your girlfriend brings you to an orgasm (or a man's name).
Making coffing sound and scraping your throat on a train. When people look at you, say: "Sorry, hair ball."
WATCHING PORN IN PUBLIC
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♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪• אין סוף •♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•♫♪•♪♫•
Music is essential for the expression of non material ideals and energies. Music colors our surroundings with emanations from the highest vibrational fields. It allows us to escape all limitations in our thinking and very existence.
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Re: How to tick people off
"Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss."
LMAO..actually a workmate is doing this regularly with fincancial news at work...if a bag of rice falls to the ground in Quebec, our team (who uses the same ressources he does and could know it anyways if we would be interested) and our boss receive the info via E-Mail with spectacular headers like "IMPORTANT" or "POTENTIAL IMPACT ON US" in the text.
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Blowkick visual & graphic design - No Civilization. Now With Broadband.
There are but three true sports -- bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. -HemingwayComment
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Re: How to tick people off
Yesterday I went at La Rocca and they installed a terrace outside with a jacuzzi. My friend and I jumped in at about 4.30 am and bubbled the until 6 am. When we got out, I told the other people in it that they might wanted to take a shower at homer because I had pied in the water.
Should've seen their faces
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