Dumbest criminal ever?

[feather]

The man walked into a station to report that he had been held up at gunpoint by a gang who had stolen his mobile phone.

But when the detective phoned the number of the phone reportedly stolen, it rang in the complainant's pocket.

"The shock left him speechless for a few minutes," said police spokesman Eugene Opperman, adding that the man, 25, was then arrested for perjury.

The police issued a statement entitled "Dumbest criminal?" with details of the weekend incident, South Africa's Star newspaper reports.

"At the end of the interview, he rang the complainant's cell phone number, and it rang in the man's pocket," Mr Opperman said, according the Beeld paper.

"He told the detective that he'd given him the wrong number," he said.

"But couldn't explain why the phone in his pocket had the corresponding serial number, or why it was same make and fitted the description he had given of the 'stolen phone'."

South Africa's reputation has long been tarnished by the high levels of crime, often accompanied by extreme violence involving guns.

Should've just glued his hands to the cell while he was at it.

[toasty]

Weekend at Bernie's, Reality Version

NEW YORK (AP) -- Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/D/DEAD_MANS_CHECK?SITE=CTNHR&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

kudos for balls, I suppose

[KinKyJ]

Re: Weekend at Bernie's, Reality Version

http://www.mercuryserver.com/forums/...98&postcount=4

[toasty]

Re: Weekend at Bernie's, Reality Version

doh! FWIW, I like my thread title better.

[feather]

Re: Dumbest criminal ever?

We have a contender:

Man who hid knives in pants stabs self

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say.

The suspect was hospitalized after Monday night's attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge, police say.

The wounds did not appear to be life-threatening, The Grand Rapids Press reported.
The man had put about $300 worth of hunting knives in his waistband, police told WZZM-TV. Police say he tried to leave the store, but Meijer employees confronted him and a scuffle followed.

The man then fell and was stabbed by the knives he had hidden in his clothing, police said. They said it happened about 5:40 p.m.

"The man was taken to the hospital," said Meijer spokesman Frank Giuliano. "We are cooperating with the investigation by police."

Police said the suspect has a record of retail fraud.

"I saw a man laying down on the mat by the carts, a knife by him with blood on the full blade of the knife," shopper Heather Dodd told WOOD-TV. "It was not a dull kitchen knife or a sharp butcher's knife, it was somewhere in between.

"Someone was holding him down so I just walked around him, grabbed my cart, made sure everything was OK and got out of the way."

[tiddles]

Re: Dumbest criminal ever?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7182455.stm

FBI wiretaps cut for unpaid bills

The Department of Justice said some of the agency's surveillance operations had been jeopardized by late payments and an "antiquated" accounting system.
The audit also revealed an FBI employee had admitted stealing $25,000 (£12,745) intended for undercover phone services.
The FBI said the operations in question had not been significantly affected.
In August, President George W Bush updated the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) to allow the tapping without warrants of telephone calls and e-mails routed through the US.
Previously the government had to seek approval from a special court in advance.
'Hypocrisy'
The audit conducted by the justice department's inspector general, Glenn Fine, concludes that phone lines which were established to eavesdrop on suspected criminals were disconnected because of late payments.
In some cases it caused evidence to be lost.
In one office the unpaid costs for wire taps from one phone company came to $66,000 (£33,640).
The audit blamed the lost connections on the FBI's lax oversight of money used in undercover investigations.
The FBI has acknowledged a few instances in which late phone bills led to surveillance disruptions.
Assistant FBI Director John Miller said wire taps were dropped only a few times because of backed up billing which he said did not significantly set back investigations which were under way.
The American Civil Liberties Union said the report highlighted hypocrisy from telephone companies that want Congress to give them immunity from law suits or co-operating in certain wiretaps on the grounds that they were acting only as responsible corporate citizens.