Any SQL types out there

[NastyD]

A collegue made up this about about someone in my office...

o John Parsons doesn't do laundry. He merely DELETEs the dirt.
o When John Parsons begins a transaction, the world stops rotating.
o There is no calendar. The years are just an identity(1,1) column set up by John Parsons.
o John Parsons has written a stored procedure to work out who would win a fight between Batman and Superman.
o John Parsons doesn't have an age, he has a @@ROWCOUNT.
o John Parsons has never logged into a database. The servers are too scared to refuse him access.
o John Parsons doesn't have to optimise his stored procedures. He just glares at the CPUs and they work faster.
o Only John Parsons can use Unstructured Query Language.
o John Parsons doesn't have to make backups. No hard disk would ever risk losing his data.

I thought it was funny anyway!

[fumanchu182]

Re: Any SQL types out there

select * from humanity
join stuidity on (humanity.commonsense = stupidity.commonsense) where stupidity.commonsense = true;

the query returns 0 results...

[algy]

Re: Any SQL types out there

LoL!

Ever See This? Compile and Enjoy the powers of obfuscation!

#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)char *a;{return!0<t?t<3?main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,
main(-86,0,a+1)+a)):1,t<_?main(t+1,_,a):3,main(-94,-27+t,a)&&t==2?_<13?
main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n"):9:16:t<0?t<-72?main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l,+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/")
:t<-50?_==*a?putchar(31[a]):main(-65,_,a+1):main((*a=='/')+t,_,a+1)
:0<t?main(2,2,"%s"):*a=='/'||main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);}

[fumanchu182]

Re: Any SQL types out there

all it does is print the 12 days of christmas, code broken up into readable form from the recursion principle on main():

/* the program after replacing conditional and list expressions with if-then-elses
and statement blocks. */

#include <stdio.h>
main(t,_,a)
char *a;
{
if ((!0) < t) {
if (t < 3)
main(-79,-13,a+main(-87,1-_,main(-86,0,a+1)+a));

if (t < _ )
main(t+1,_,a);

if (main(-94,-27+t,a)) {
if (t==2 ) {
if ( _ < 13 ) {
return main(2,_+1,"%s %d %d\n");
} else {
return 9;
}
} else
return 16;
} else
return 0;

} else if (t < 0) {
if (t < -72) {
return main(_,t,
"@n'+,#'/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#\
;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/'r :'d*'3,}{w+K w'K:'+}e#';dq#'l \
q#'+d'K#!/+k#;q#'r}eKK#}w'r}eKK{nl]'/#;#q#n'){)#}w'){){nl]'/+#n';d}rw' i;# \
){nl]!/n{n#'; r{#w'r nc{nl]'/#{l,+'K {rw' iK{;[{nl]'/w#q#n'wk nw' \
iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%'l##w#' i; :{nl]'/*{q#'ld;r'}{nlwb!/*de}'c \
;;{nl'-{}rw]'/+,}##'*}#nc,',#nw]'/+kd'+e}+;#'rdq#w! nr'/ ') }+}{rl#'{n' ')# \
}'+}##(!!/");
} else if (t < -50 ) {
if (_ == *a) {
return putchar(31[a]);
} else {
return main(-65,_,a+1);
}
} else {
return main((*a=='/')+t,_,a+1);
}

} else if (0 < t) {
return main (2,2,"%s" );

} else {
if (*a=='/')
return 1;
else return
main(0,main(-61,*a,
"!ek;dc i@bK'(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:\nuwloca-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry"),a+1);
}

}