To: The guy doing my wife

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • 88Mariner
    My dick is smaller
    • Nov 2006
    • 7128

    To: The guy doing my wife

    To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.

    1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.

    2.You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit(god knows
    I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.

    3.If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.

    4.Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son belives if its not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recomend a better spot?

    5.After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, Irun out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty(thanks).

    6.Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not
    mentaly challenged.

    7.Please stop turning the heat up, You pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.

    8.When she asks "do these pants make me look fat", say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.

    9.Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.

    10.Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too)has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.

    Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentines Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only orded one meal.I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don't feel rushed.

    P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have abottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.

    Thanks This was not writen by anyone named Jack S.

    • Location: omaha
    • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
    http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/oma/581897835.html
    you could put an Emfire release on for 2 minutes and you would be a sleep before it finishes - Chunky

    it's RA. they'd blow their load all over some stupid 20 minute loop of a snare if it had a quirky flange setting. - Tiddles

    Am I somewhere....in the corners of your mind....

    ----PEACE-----
  • Steve Graham
    DJ Jelly
    • Jun 2004
    • 12887

    #2
    Re: To: The guy doing my wife

    brilliant! lol

    Comment

    • AntonyM
      DUDERZ get a life!!!
      • Oct 2004
      • 6415

      #3
      Re: To: The guy doing my wife

      Pretty good stuff
      maybe he can kick in with the rent next.
      Originally posted by Shpira
      So came back last night...
      Sven Vath was amazing...he played a god damn killer set...ended up going to that and came to at like 10 am in some whore house in south Amsterdam...no idea how I ended up there...friday was a bit of a blur got really drunk and visited several parties can't remember a whole lot to be honest hehe...saturday was probably the best day that I recall...started up in the nearest coffee shop and going from party to party...beautiful woman, beer and weed...finished the night by taking some shrooms and listening to an amazing elke kleijn set...sunday...i met a nice girl who worked at one of the coffee shops and ended up talking to her for like 6 hours...was supposed to meet her at some DnB party...but instead went for a steak and walked around red light district bars drinking and smoking...monday took it easy went to a coffee shop and took a taxi to airport....

      All in all...I think I will be going back there some time soon
      Originally posted by Illuminate
      Let me get this straight.

      So white-middle class Americans have been told by their Television sets to be fearful of:

      1. Mexicans/Latinos from the South bringing drugs and killings n' shit.
      2. African Americans cause mos def they are raging a race war and want to occupy America like how the plebs occupied Wall St.
      3. Iranians/Afghans/Any one of middle eastern origin to be quite frank, cause you know Islam...
      4. North Koreans/Chinese cause you know everything...

      Am I close here?

      Comment

      • Duff McKagin
        Gold Gabber
        • Sep 2004
        • 690

        #4
        Re: To: The guy doing my wife

        thanks, that's the funniest shit i've heard in a long time!
        Fly? Yes. Land? No!

        Comment

        • simonr
          Transitionator
          • Jun 2004
          • 8796

          #5
          Re: To: The guy doing my wife

          Hilarious !
          sigpicSimonR

          This release was mastered direct from vinyl at the request of the DJ and as such features natural sound characteristics of this medium such as record surface noise.

          Comment

          • rainman
            Platinum Poster
            • Dec 2005
            • 1869

            #6
            Re: To: The guy doing my wife

            that's hilarious!

            Comment

            • nick007
              DUDERZ get a life!!!
              • Oct 2007
              • 6095

              #7
              Re: To: The guy doing my wife

              Pretty funny!

              The largest room in the world, is the room for improvement!

              Comment

              Working...