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well, since little 
van Winkle isn't here, I "had to" start one, although there's a joke thread
already.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING JOKES ARE JUST JOKES AND ARE NOT IN ANY WAY MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY (kind of like Beanz :wink: )
There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely
beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically
trying to climb up.
While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says,
"God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless
you both," and then kept on walking.
One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the
other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible."
The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck
about shark fishing."
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.
His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So Johnny says,
"Mum, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father",
his mother tells him.
So Johnny's father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want
to know if you're more Jewish of black?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle
for $50, I don't know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till its dark
and steel the fucking thing!"
Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husbands best mate Peter when
suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheet
after a brief conversation.
"Who was it? The back stabbing buddy asked.
"On, that was Mick." She replied calmly.
"Oh shit, I'd better be going then!: he said. "Did Mick say where he was?"
"Relax - he's down at the pub, playing a few games of pool with you]."
van Winkle isn't here, I "had to" start one, although there's a joke thread already.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING JOKES ARE JUST JOKES AND ARE NOT IN ANY WAY MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY (kind of like Beanz :wink: )
There were these three blokes sitting on the high cliffs of a lonely
beach, with a rope going down into the surf and a Chinaman frantically
trying to climb up.
While they were sitting there a Priest walks along, looks over and says,
"God bless you children, that's Christianity at work. May the lord bless
you both," and then kept on walking.
One bloke looks at the other, "Who the fuck was that?" "Oh," said the
other bloke, "that's Father Johnston. He knows all there is about the bible."
The other bloke looked around and quickly says, "Well he knows fuck
about shark fishing."
Little Johnny came home from school one day slightly confused.
His mother was Jewish and his father was black. So Johnny says,
"Mum, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father",
his mother tells him.
So Johnny's father gets home from work and Johnny asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Jewish or more black?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want
to know if you're more Jewish of black?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad. Tommy down the street wants to sell his bicycle
for $50, I don't know whether to talk him down to $25, or wait till its dark
and steel the fucking thing!"
Mick's wife was furiously humping away with her husbands best mate Peter when
suddenly the phone rang. She hopped out of bed and returned to the sweaty sheet
after a brief conversation.
"Who was it? The back stabbing buddy asked.
"On, that was Mick." She replied calmly.
"Oh shit, I'd better be going then!: he said. "Did Mick say where he was?"
"Relax - he's down at the pub, playing a few games of pool with you]."
:wink:
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