women

[DancingQueen]

Re: women

I will admit we can be difficult, complex, and bitchy at times, but no matter what you say, you still love us

As a side note, everything you say about women also applies to men...you guys aren't a walk in the park either!

[AntonyM]

Re: women

^ Well there you go.

[MJDub]

Re: women

I like my women like I like my coffee. Covered in BEES!

[Shiva]

Re: women

I will admit we can be difficult, complex, and bitchy at times, but no matter what you say, you still love us

As a side note, everything you say about women also applies to men...you guys aren't a walk in the park either!

Whatever they say, buttom line: They can't do jack without us hun....!

[MJDub]

Re: women

You've got it mixed up. We jack without you, not with you. That's why women exist.

[danielRR]

Re: women

^^ saw that one coming ...

[Shiva]

Re: women

we need someone to do the cooking and cleaning...

(i kid, i kid)

When you want something done, DO IT YOURSELF:

"we need someone to do the cooking"
> have u heard of home delivery and ready made food?

"and cleaning..."
> Dish washers, dry cleaners etc..or even maids?

In 21st century modern women are too busy looking after their own careers....so guys you should start getting used to it and organize urselves...

[Dhar_2]

Re: women

^ we do thanks!

[shosh]

Re: women

[day_for_night]

Re: women

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Jack is attracted to a woman named Diane. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to
dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Diane, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Diane, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Jack is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Diane is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are
we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for
that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Jack is thinking: ...so that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the
odometer...Whoa! I am way over due for an oil change here.

And Diane is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some
reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Jack is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent bastards $600.

And Diane is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Jack is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Diane is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a Knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Jack is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Jack, " Diane says aloud.

"What?" says Jack, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this, " she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

" What?" says Jack.

"I'm such a fool, " Diane sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Jack.

" You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Diane says.

" No!" says Jack, glad to finally know the correct answer.

" It's just that... it's that I... I need some time, " Diane says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Jack, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes, " he says.

(Diane, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Jack, do you really feel that way?" she says.

" What way?" says Jack.

" That way about time, " says Diane.

"Oh, " says Jack. "Yes."

(Diane turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Jack, " she says.

"Thank you, " says Jack.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

Whereas when Jack gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Diane will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Jack, while playing racquet ball one day with a mutual friend of his and Diane's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Diane ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

[88Mariner]

Re: women

I like my women like I like my coffee. Covered in BEES!

word up on the Izzard refernce. it never stops being funny...

here's a sobering thought, now that this thread is rolling....


... mankind has always depended upon the male orgasm; never on the female orgasm.

[thesightless]

Re: women

All women are whores....Except for Chanty, and the other 3 or 4 women on [MS].

yes, chanty is a tried and true lady.

[Dhar_2]

Re: women

The Difference Between Men and Women

Let's say a guy named Jack is attracted to a woman named Diane. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to
dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Diane, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Diane, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Jack is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Diane is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are
we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for
that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Jack is thinking: ...so that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the
odometer...Whoa! I am way over due for an oil change here.

And Diane is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed-even before I sensed it-that I was feeling some
reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Jack is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent bastards $600.

And Diane is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Jack is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Diane is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a Knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Jack is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Jack, " Diane says aloud.

"What?" says Jack, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this, " she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

" What?" says Jack.

"I'm such a fool, " Diane sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Jack.

" You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Diane says.

" No!" says Jack, glad to finally know the correct answer.

" It's just that... it's that I... I need some time, " Diane says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Jack, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes, " he says.

(Diane, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Jack, do you really feel that way?" she says.

" What way?" says Jack.

" That way about time, " says Diane.

"Oh, " says Jack. "Yes."

(Diane turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Jack, " she says.

"Thank you, " says Jack.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.

Whereas when Jack gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Diane will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Jack, while playing racquet ball one day with a mutual friend of his and Diane's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Diane ever own a horse?"

And that's the difference between men and women.

too true!

[feather]

Re: women

Women have boobies. I like boobies.

[lilsensa]

Re: women

I'm an ass and leg man, myself.