--T-Shirt Hell's June Newsletter--

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  • Jenks
    I'm kind of a big deal.
    • Jun 2004
    • 10250

    --T-Shirt Hell's June Newsletter--

    i love these.


    Summer is here and it's time to hit the beach. This year, make sure
    that
    you do not use any sunscreen. Sunscreen is a ridiculous plot by the
    government to keep you from obtaining your super powers from our yellow
    sun,
    just like Superman did. So grease up, and not just your asshole this
    time.

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    NEW SHIRTS FOR SUMMER FUN
    -------------------------------------------------------------

    While it is important to let the healthy rays of the sun caress you.
    Let's
    face it. Those enormous man boobs of yours are downright disturbing.
    So
    wear one of our 3 new shirts if you are planning to be around children
    or
    sensitive pets.

    All of our new shirts are here:

    Funny adult and baby t-shirts, hoodies and tank tops updated with new designs every week. Shop our huge collection of original awesome, cool, and hilarious pop culture, nerdy, and generally hilarious funny designs today.


    If you're an AOL user, or unable to click the link above, copy and
    paste it
    into your browser.

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    RONALD REGAN BACK FROM THE DEAD!
    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Seems he's so senile, he couldn't even get DYING right!

    Buy your tickets to see the Reagan Corpse tour. Don't miss out,
    there's still enough of him to go around! But hurry, those
    worms are hungry fuckers...

    I know, I know, you think we are heartless idiots, but I assure you we
    aren't.

    We at T-Shirt hell are actually sad to see him die and wanted to
    pay our respects to a terrific President. He contributed so much
    to this planet, esp. the last 10 years. Why, from drooling all over
    himself,
    to calling Nancy "Mommy", we wouldn't be where we are without him. What
    a
    legacy.

    But seriously, speaking of his legacy, take the dismantling of the
    USSR.
    Clearly his greatest achievement...or was it?

    The fact that this man went over there and tore down their Berlin wall
    speaks volumes about what a great president he was. It really does! But
    we
    at T-shirt hell believe there are 2 things that *truly* made him a
    great
    President.

    Not dismantling that shitty country that never gets warm. Seriously, a
    country without hot chicks in bikinis is not a country of god, and
    thus,
    must fall apart.

    Anyway, where was I?...oh, yes, about his great achievements...

    Throughout the years, now think about this...he was able to meet that
    goofy
    Russian with that jizz mark on his head and not laugh ONCE. Not ONCE!
    How
    can you take that man seriously? It looks like an elephant jizzed over
    his
    bald head. No wonder that country went into the crapper! But really,
    how
    can you feel good about your nation when your president is bald? Let
    alone
    that horrible stain?

    This is why we loved Ronald. Not only did he not have that horrible
    stain on
    his head, but he had hair into his 70's! To me, that is the greatest
    achievement of his legacy, if not among all Presidents.

    Think about this dummy, how many 30 year olds have you seen balding?
    It's
    pathetic. They should just cut their dicks off and die. But maybe they
    shouldn't because we'd have to hear about it for a fucking week!

    (Joe Shitball Died Today. More News At 11...12...1/2/3/4/5/6...and
    tomorrow,
    Wed, Thurs...)

    Anyway, as much as we love Reagan for kicking the USSR in the balls,
    let's
    face it, he had hair in his 70's. What a remarkable man. A man who's
    unjizzed, un-balding head kept our nation strong during tough times.

    So we at T-shirt Hell want you to be a good American, stop what you are
    doing and stare at his dead body right now!

    Don't be a commie. Show the GUPPY Your love.
    Order tickets today!

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    HATE MAILPALOOZA
    -------------------------------------------------------------

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: "Kyndra
    To: newsletter
    Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2004 4:40 PM
    Subject: T-Shirt Hell

    why the fuck would you talk bad about the army! I dont see you fighting
    for
    your country! you are probably some 60 year old, 600 pound man that
    does
    nothing but eat potato chips and set up cameras in girls bathrooms to
    watch
    them use the bathroom!

    (Editor's Note: First off, thanks to the Atkins diet I am a trim 587
    with
    my shoes on! And if you think it's difficult, and dangerous fighting
    for
    your country, just try sneaking into a girls bathroom when you're a 587
    lb
    man wearing only a pair of loafers. Oh, but it's all worth it if you
    get
    footage of just one girl changing her tampon, or battling the Hershey
    squirts, or dare I dream...both? )

    ---------------------------------------------

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Alyssa
    To: T-SHIRT HELL
    Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2004 9:39 PM
    Subject: Re: T-Shirt Hell End of May Newsletter

    Alright, me and my mom (im 14) love your sick jokes and I really want
    some
    of your shirts but I DO think that your going way to fucken far with a
    lot
    of your shit. (Your Christmas paper and some of your anti American
    shirts)
    You know, if you don't agree with the way US is ran, or you don't
    support
    the troops over seas, then get the fuck out! now enough is enough, I
    know
    you get off with being bad ass and reading letters from Mormons saying
    how
    bad and degrading your stuff is, but come on... do you really believe
    that
    your going to heaven with crap like that on your record? I know your
    gonna
    say, no I don't or some shit thinken your so bad, but really, you have
    a
    heart, and a brain and I know you really do care about what happens
    after
    you die, unless you think you just blink out of exsistance. I know your
    not
    gonna stop printing your shit and I don't want ya too, but tone it down
    a
    little, cuz now im banned from even reading your site because of its
    crap.
    think about it, you get more punks with weed rather than police right?
    or
    sumthing simular.

    (Editor's Note: Alyssa, I am confident that I am going to heaven, but
    not
    the same one as you. Clearly, you will be going to moron heaven where
    you
    can eat gum drops all day and never have to worry about having an
    original
    thought or an honest opinion.)

    ---------------------------------------------

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: Brian
    To: T-SHIRT HELL
    Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2004 11:44 AM
    Subject: Re: T-Shirt Hell Early June Newsletter

    I'm a white guy......not rich......guess i should be huh? But
    remember
    something dumbass......we made our money before you made yours....you
    ought
    to remember who got you that space on the soapbox you love so
    dearly...hello
    from blue collar workers everywhere.....please be aware that there are
    more
    of us than there are of you.... consider that when your daughter is
    raped
    again by one of us in her maserati.....see ya sweetie.
    Brian
    P.S. if your so in love with your own thoughts and words write a book
    or
    start a radio show.....quit tryin to piss people off to fuel your
    childish
    rage....did your mommy not breast feed you? LOL

    (Editor's Note: While I'm sure there are few things my daughter would
    enjoy
    more than a quick feel, along with feeble attempts at penetration with
    your
    limp, needle dick: I hardly think your 1979 Pinto has any chance of
    catching her Maserati. And we have nothing against blue collar
    workers, we
    just hate you, as a person.)

    ---------------------------------------------

    ----- Original Message -----
    From: "Sarah"
    To: "T-SHIRT HELL"
    Sent: Saturday, May 22, 2004 2:06 PM
    Subject: Dear T-Shirt Hell

    Your new Iraqi shirt is repulsive. You are repulsive. I can only hope
    that
    one day you'll be exposed to similar conditions that the iraqi soldiers
    are
    going through. What our "camel-fucking troops" (great shirt) are doing
    is
    inhumane if you dont realise that already. But then again i'm probably
    email
    the guy who shaved cats bald and therw them out in snowstorms as a
    little
    boy.

    (Editor's Note: This is amazing! I feel like I'm on The Truman Show!
    First my bathroom cam fetish is revealed, and now my favorite childhood
    pastime. My eyes are getting all misty. None of the cats ever froze to
    death. I guess it was all of the firecrackers I taped to them that
    kept
    them warm. )

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

    No God, No Peace. Know God, there's still no fucking peace.
  • brakada
    Gold Gabber
    • Jun 2004
    • 622

    #2
    lovely hatemail...
    ...and the editor's comments...
    LMAO
    We shall boldly dance, where no man has danced before..."

    Comment

    • Dhar_2
      meat and potatoes
      • Jun 2004
      • 18917

      #3
      cool t-shirts

      anyone recommend anywhere else to get good t's

      we all sanders got some wicked ones, any idea where he gets em?

      Comment

      • Civic_Zen
        Platinum Poster
        • Jun 2004
        • 1116

        #4
        Editor's Note: First off, thanks to the Atkins diet I am a trim 587
        with my shoes on!
        "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus (55-117 A.D.)
        "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."
        - Thomas Jefferson

        Comment

        • Pataky P
          asdf_imo
          • Jun 2004
          • 1966

          #5
          I love these!!!

          Comment

          • nsite
            Addiction started
            • Jun 2004
            • 296

            #6
            O M G.
            ...I love you when you're not masterminding my downfall

            Comment

            • FM
              Wooooooo!
              • Jun 2004
              • 5361

              #7
              great site
              FM

              "Nowadays everyone is a fucking DJ." - Jack Dangers

              What record did you loose your virginity to?
              "I don't like having sex with music on- I find it distracting. And if it's a mix cd- forget it. I'm stopping to check the beat mixing in between tracks." - Tom Stephan

              Download/Listen To My Mixes
              Facebook!
              A Journey Into Sound On MCast

              Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your music back.

              Comment

              • FM
                Wooooooo!
                • Jun 2004
                • 5361

                #8


                :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

                I could use this one when I go out to the clubs at night...
                FM

                "Nowadays everyone is a fucking DJ." - Jack Dangers

                What record did you loose your virginity to?
                "I don't like having sex with music on- I find it distracting. And if it's a mix cd- forget it. I'm stopping to check the beat mixing in between tracks." - Tom Stephan

                Download/Listen To My Mixes
                Facebook!
                A Journey Into Sound On MCast

                Satisfaction guaranteed, or double your music back.

                Comment

                • Alpinevpr
                  Getting Somewhere
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 249

                  #9
                  I love the "Asthma is Sexy" shirt. Proud owner of that one.

                  Comment

                  • bedrizzock
                    Getting Somewhere
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 158

                    #10
                    And I am the proud (very proud) owner of the "Music In A Minor" shirt. I love getting looks with that one. Sometimes I will pay a little three-year-old girl's parents to let her walk around the streets with me for a day. That's the nuts right there.
                    I'm rich, bitch.

                    Comment

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