Why i fired my secratary

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  • MJ
    Here since 2002
    • Jun 2004
    • 6560

    Why i fired my secratary

    "Two weeks ago," was my thirtyth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say 'Good Morning' let alone say 'Happy Birthday'.

    I said to myself 'Well that's wives for you. The children will remember.' But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

    As I walked into my office, Janet said 'Good Morning, Boss--Happy Birthday' and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.

    I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, 'You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I. I said, 'By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Let's go.

    We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go, we went out into the country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, she said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?' I said, 'No, I guess not.

    She said, 'Let's go to you house and I'll fix you another Martini.

    We went to my house. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable' and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.

    She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom singing happy birthday carrying a big birthday cake....

    followed by my wife and children...

    and all my friends

    and i just sat there on the couch...

    naked.

    -----------------

    Iknow some of you have heard it before but i think it`s the funniest thing i`ve heard in a long time.
    mjwebhosting you know it makes sense



    Silentium est aureum
  • MJDub
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Jun 2004
    • 2765

    #2
    Classic.
    http://www.myspace.com/mjdubmusic

    You can't have manslaughter without laughter.

    "Son," he said without preamble, "never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."

    Comment

    • Civic_Zen
      Platinum Poster
      • Jun 2004
      • 1116

      #3
      Definetely classic. Hopefully we can get some of the other old stories back on here too.
      "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus (55-117 A.D.)
      "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."
      - Thomas Jefferson

      Comment

      • MJDub
        Are you Kidding me??
        • Jun 2004
        • 2765

        #4
        We need some more of Haysoos Christos' uncontrollable bowels stories!
        http://www.myspace.com/mjdubmusic

        You can't have manslaughter without laughter.

        "Son," he said without preamble, "never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."

        Comment

        • Civic_Zen
          Platinum Poster
          • Jun 2004
          • 1116

          #5
          Originally posted by MJDub
          We need some more of Haysoos Christos' uncontrollable bowels stories!
          I was thinking the exact same thing. Where is the coward?
          "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus (55-117 A.D.)
          "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."
          - Thomas Jefferson

          Comment

          • DreamGirlie
            Platinum Poster
            • Jun 2004
            • 2137

            #6
            ooooh i hope he has em saved haha
            "Welcome to Hezbollah phone line, for terrorist supplies press 1."

            Comment

            • Pierre Le Tuat
              Fresh Peossy
              • Jun 2004
              • 28

              #7
              have funs with your secretarieyes.
              Oh Canada!

              Comment

              • ubiqe
                Platinum Poster
                • Jun 2004
                • 1731

                #8
                If you haven't cleared your temp. internet files for some time, you can view all the topics that you viewed earlier online - so you might copy & paste that here (on win2k it means going to your windows drive -> documents and settings -> your user name -> local settings -> temp. int. files Then just sort them by name and find all the 'viewtopic...'s; on any other system you can try accessing the addresses after choosing the option work ofline - but then you don't see the title of the topic - only the number). Unfortunatelly I ereased mine a week ago

                Comment

                • robocat
                  Addiction started
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 291

                  #9
                  Originally posted by MJDub
                  Classic.
                  yeee thanks MJ
                  www.progressivepolska.com/forum/ ---> my forum about progressivehousemusic
                  for people from Poland and not only

                  Comment

                  • Hos
                    Are you Kidding me??
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 4286

                    #10
                    Originally posted by ubiqe
                    If you haven't cleared your temp. internet files for some time, you can view all the topics that you viewed earlier online - so you might copy & paste that here (on win2k it means going to your windows drive -> documents and settings -> your user name -> local settings -> temp. int. files Then just sort them by name and find all the 'viewtopic...'s; on any other system you can try accessing the addresses after choosing the option work ofline - but then you don't see the title of the topic - only the number). Unfortunatelly I ereased mine a week ago
                    desparate times call for desparate measures!
                    black is the new black www.mercuryserver.com

                    Comment

                    • swedetech
                      Gold Gabber
                      • Jun 2004
                      • 990

                      #11
                      that is some funny shit!
                      ---------------


                      check out http://www.stockmonk.net for all your graphic needs!!! and www.jnmedia.com for custom websites, animation, 3d and more...

                      Comment

                      • lmmadic
                        Gold Gabber
                        • Jun 2004
                        • 746

                        #12
                        Re: Why i fired my secratary

                        Originally posted by Musical Journey
                        "Two weeks ago," was my thirtyth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into the kitchen for breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say 'Happy Birthday' and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say 'Good Morning' let alone say 'Happy Birthday'.

                        I said to myself 'Well that's wives for you. The children will remember.' But the children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. And when I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.

                        As I walked into my office, Janet said 'Good Morning, Boss--Happy Birthday' and I felt a little bit better that someone had remembered.

                        I worked until noon. About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, 'You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, so let's go to lunch, just you and I. I said, 'By George, that is the greatest thing I have heard all day. Let's go.

                        We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go, we went out into the country to a private place. We had two Martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

                        On the way back to the office, she said, 'You know, it's such a beautiful day we don't need to go back to the office, do we?' I said, 'No, I guess not.

                        She said, 'Let's go to you house and I'll fix you another Martini.

                        We went to my house. We enjoyed another Martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable' and I allowed her as I didn't mind at all.

                        She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes she came out of the bedroom singing happy birthday carrying a big birthday cake....

                        followed by my wife and children...

                        and all my friends

                        and i just sat there on the couch...

                        naked.

                        -----------------

                        Iknow some of you have heard it before but i think it`s the funniest thing i`ve heard in a long time.
                        This has been posted on here like 5 times or so
                        goddamn noob :wink:
                        sigpic

                        Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army. Edward Everett

                        Comment

                        • rewing3
                          I really don't care
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 5504

                          #13
                          Great Story but it was on here before glad u posted it again. Funny shit.
                          Common Sense is not Common at all.

                          Comment

                          • Gloomy
                            Addiction started
                            • Jun 2004
                            • 314

                            #14
                            repost ... :P

                            Comment

                            • Alpinevpr
                              Getting Somewhere
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 249

                              #15
                              It may be a repost but that shit is still funny. :ROFLMAO:
                              Where is Haysoos???

                              Comment

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