had a dream i met sarah palin.

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • chloe harris
    Platinum Poster
    • Jun 2004
    • 1021

    had a dream i met sarah palin.

    last night i had a dream i met sarah palin at the airport.

    i was running utterly late trying to get to the airport from this after party i had in LA. i only had 45 minutes to get on the plane and i was flying to london. i was going to miss it. i went up to the counter to get the next flight knowing i'd missed it and the lady says, 'oh chloe, someone is here to talk with you.'.. i said oh ok. thinking it was some airline person who was going to help me or something. sarah palin walks out and says, 'hi hi hi, can i call you chloe, ya ok ya thanks', trying to shake my hand. we start walking the hall, she must have seen the disgust on my face because right away she starts in, 'so i've read things you've wrote about me and boy oh boy you sure don't like me, do ya?' i sort of give off a yes face without talking, and she continues, 'well i just wanted to show ya i'm not like how ya think. imma really good person and i just wanna show you a bit about my life, ya. ya wanna do that?. i shudder thinking no, not really - i'd rather you lick the floor clean to be honest, but i indulge her.

    she walks me over to her family, the pregnant one, the *special one*, the other ones. I'm still not sure how many kids she has. she introduced me to them all, but there seemed to be like 50 of them, and i couldn't remember all thier names. She asked me 'why don't you believe in god?' and i came up with 'because the whole religious phenomenon bores me'. 'Bores you, but how' she quizzes. 'I dunno, all i see it going and through history is really just helped create problems, but to be honest Sarah I don't really want to talk about why I don't believe in your god. I may believe in something other than what you deem religious but that doesn't mean I am not spiritual.' I said. 'Well doggone it, I'm sure I can help your soul find the holy spirit that you are in such desperate need of.'

    So this is where problems arose, as I'm sure you could guess. 'Listen lady, I don't want to have you help me, I want you to step down from politics because you are not prepared, educated, progressive or even interesting enough. You need to go back to school and learn more. You need to come live where people live to see how people live. You need to integrate more into a society that needs progressive people thinking and trying to pull us out of this shitty box we're in. I am tired of the religious right stepping so far into politics that I have to hear and read about it every fucking day. I'm tired of hearing God bless you. I'm tired of the flip flopping that goes on in churches, and i'm just god damn (see that hehe) tired of having religions mixed with politics in America, and you bring that whole thing to the table, again.'

    'We've done this before, and I don't want to argue, I just want religious people to open thier minds a bit. It wouldn't be hard, look at the Catholic priests in South America who are urging thier people to use birth control. That is what I'd like to call 'REAL-MINDED'. It's dealing with reality and knowing that you still can be super religious and be real.' I turned to Bristol, 'you're preggers right now, but you may not have been if your family taught you birth control. how do you feel knowing you are becoming just another stat of teenage pregnancies? I wish you the best, I just wish you could have waited longer, till you were out of school, had a good education, and were able to make adult decisions with someone you probably found love with to have a baby.' Sarah steps in, 'Hey now, don't you be telling Bristol that the baby isn't a miracle, because it sure is. It's a miracle how these little people grow inside you and become these beautiful wonderful people I'm so proud of, and I'm so proud of Bristol for understanding her miracle that has been given to her, I really... ', I stop her because of her run on sentence, which was driving me bonkers. 'Miracle or not, she got pregnant because she had unprotected sex and those wacky sperms found an egg and bam, child. Not so much a miracle as it is science, but thats ok. Anyway, I'm finding you all a bit strange, so last thing before I walk away I'd like to ask why you think dinoaurs and humans lived at the same time and why you would believe random books over science?'

    They all look puzzled and Sarah quips back at me, 'Well why would I believe science when I know in my heart that is how it happened.' The sheer shock of stupidity on my face must have been priceless. 'Wow', I said. 'Pretty meaningful stuff'.
    .................................................. .................................................. ............................

    errrr- i dunno.
    pillow humping rules.
  • speciale
    Are you Kidding me??
    • Dec 2005
    • 3728

    #2
    Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

    argh, the title of this thread was misleading.
    Originally posted by Miroslav
    It's not like he grabbed his balls and sucked his dick. It's not like he gave the Saudis the original copy of the Constitution to use as toilet paper. It's not like he gave away the secret recipe to the Colonel's chicken. .
    No Soup for You

    Comment

    • toasty
      Sir Toastiness
      • Jun 2004
      • 6585

      #3
      Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

      damn, thought I was a junkie -- heavy...

      Comment

      • chloe harris
        Platinum Poster
        • Jun 2004
        • 1021

        #4
        Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

        good shit huh. the better story is going to be on the earworm blog. i thought it was pretty funny though.
        pillow humping rules.

        Comment

        • Weizy
          MCast Resident DJ
          • Jun 2004
          • 3174

          #5
          Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

          really? I had a dream about her last night too

          Comment

          • chloe harris
            Platinum Poster
            • Jun 2004
            • 1021

            #6
            Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.



            this one is better.
            pillow humping rules.

            Comment

            • Weizy
              MCast Resident DJ
              • Jun 2004
              • 3174

              #7
              Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

              I liked how you summed it up here:


              "I’m sorry I don’t believe in what you believe in. That doesn’t make me a bad person, nor does it make me someone who is intolerant. I believe if we all opened our minds up a bit more, we could all try to live in harmony with each other, it just takes time and understanding."

              Comment

              • labmonkey
                Addiction started
                • Apr 2005
                • 352

                #8
                Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                Was it a dream or a nightmare???????????????
                "Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted"

                Comment

                • Mad'Em Fixer
                  Addiction started
                  • Aug 2008
                  • 250

                  #9
                  Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                  Chloe, since I live in the bible belt I run into all kinda crazy shiiit. They have a small dinosaur amusement park run by the Christian College here. In the tour "educational" part they actually say that they lived at the same time and that when the cavemen were hungry God gave them food. I took my child for a birthday party there and left IMMEDIATELY after they said that.
                  UFUCKINGCUNTCHA!!!!R.I.P. Jib!

                  Comment

                  • shosh
                    Banned
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 4668

                    #10
                    Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                    i was expecting some rug munching...

                    Comment

                    • DIDI
                      Aussie Pest
                      • Nov 2004
                      • 16844

                      #11
                      Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                      Definitely more like a nightmare !! And I'm really worried about how well you channelled Palin

                      Blog is good Some disturbing comments though.
                      Originally posted by TheVrk
                      it IS incredible isn't it??
                      STILL pumpin out great set after great set...never cheesed out, never sold out, never lost his touch..
                      Simply does not get any better than Hernan
                      The 'club spirit' is in the soul. It Never Dies

                      Comment

                      • 88Mariner
                        My dick is smaller
                        • Nov 2006
                        • 7128

                        #12
                        Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                        Chloe, that wasn't a dream.
                        you could put an Emfire release on for 2 minutes and you would be a sleep before it finishes - Chunky

                        it's RA. they'd blow their load all over some stupid 20 minute loop of a snare if it had a quirky flange setting. - Tiddles

                        Am I somewhere....in the corners of your mind....

                        ----PEACE-----

                        Comment

                        • chloe harris
                          Platinum Poster
                          • Jun 2004
                          • 1021

                          #13
                          Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                          woah, really? what was it?

                          heheh
                          pillow humping rules.

                          Comment

                          • Localizer
                            Platinum Poster
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 2021

                            #14
                            Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                            i had a dream last night that netflix shot up 10$.
                            Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.
                            -Bertrand Russell

                            Comment

                            • Erik Mitchell
                              Gold Gabber
                              • Oct 2004
                              • 598

                              #15
                              Re: had a dream i met sarah palin.

                              Palinas Home Design provide various kinds of tips and references so that your room looks like a presidential suite in the house.
                              soundcloud - facedbook

                              Comment

                              Working...