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SALEM, Ore. – Scott Napper had scouted out Proposal Rock before and knew just the right spot on the Neskowin Beach landmark to ask Leafil Alforque to marry him.
But on Saturday the Silverton man found himself running out of time to pop the question.
The 45-year-old man and 22-year-old woman were technically already engaged since he had to fill out the government paperwork allowing her to travel to Oregon last Wednesday from her home in the Philippines.
In fact, they had already set their wedding date for Dec. 6 – the two-year anniversary of when they met online.
But Napper wanted to make a real proposal. And so he found himself Saturday on the beach in an area of the coast between Lincoln City and Tillamook guiding her toward Proposal Rock, where he hoped to take her to a secluded spot overlooking the ocean.
Napper said he had been watching the tide and waiting for the right time to approach the landmark. And as they neared, the water started rushing over their ankles. But suddenly, within 15 feet of the rock, a sneaker wave of more than 2 feet hit them, he said.
Gone in a flash
He spread his legs for balance and leaned into the force of the wave. Seconds later, he turned and saw the 4 foot 11 inch woman reaching out for him. She didn't yell or scream, but her mouth was open.
She was already 25 to 30 feet away.
"I just couldn't get to her," he said. "She was just gone in a flash."
By the time he peeled off his coat, which was weighing him down, he could no longer see her.
As he called her name, the surf got rougher. Another man tried in vain to help in the search. Napper found one of her shoes.
He kept searching. Eventually, he was told to come back. His heart jumped when he saw a woman in a red coat on the beach, thinking it was his Leafil. But as he got closer, he realized it was just a stranger.
A few minutes after he came back to shore, someone spotted her other shoe.
"There was just nothing anybody could do," Napper said.
Rough seas hinder rescue
There were 20-foot seas that afternoon and no visibility due to fog. The Coast Guard was unable to respond from its Depoe Bay station due to the dangerous water, and a Coast Guard helicopter crew from Astoria had to turn back after repeatedly being struck by birds.
A second helicopter crew finally reached the area but had to turn back after 15 minutes due to the rough weather.
They found no sign of her.
Napper said authorities told him the water was 53 degrees that day; no one could survive those conditions for long.
And so, eventually, he had to come back to his empty Silverton home without her.
When he called her family, they thought the couple was pulling a joke on them at first.
"I wish to God it was a joke," Napper said.
Memories of her
He anguished over whether to return the cream-colored strapless wedding dress he had bought for her at Macy's the day before she disappeared. No one – not even him – got to see her in it.
"I knew if I just left it in the closet, it would be there forever, and I would just be living it forever," Napper said.
Napper, a professional trumpet player and substitute teacher, soon told more and more friends about his heartache.
Each time he talked about her, it got a little easier.
She was romantic and kind and wanted her own children like he did. In the Philippines, she cooked and cleaned and kept things running in the household, which included three boys and three girls, Napper said. She worked for hours at a time to help the youngest eat; the 3-year-old girl suffers from epilepsy, he said.
"She was so selfless," Napper said.
A 21st century courtship
They met on an online dating Web site – www.person.com – on Dec. 5, 2006 – (it was Dec. 6 in her timezone.)
They corresponded for 13 months before he went to visit her in January 2008 for three weeks. He tried to get her into the U.S. on a travel visa but that was rejected. And so he went ahead and started a fiancee visa, he said, which took much of this year to get processed.
In the meantime, Leafil told him she couldn't live without him and called herself Mrs. Napper.
"She kept one of my shirts and wore that thing to bed every night for months because it had my scent on it," he said.
Neither had been married before. She wanted to tie the knot before Christmas, so he figured they should do it on their anniversary. He planned a small ceremony at Silver Falls State Park by the North Falls.
Gone but not forgotten
Leafil was only in the U.S. for four days before she was swept out to sea. Tillamook County Sheriff Todd Anderson said Wednesday she is presumed drowned.
"The hardest thing for me right now is the fact that she's out there right now," Napper said.
He is hoping her remains are recovered. Authorities give him no assurances that will happen.
In the meantime, Napper has tried to move on, keeping his appointments and commitments and caring for his aging mother who lives in Salem and suffers from Parkinson's.
But the grief still weighs heavily on him.
This Saturday he plans to head to Silver Falls State Park alone. He'll stand in the very spot where they were supposed to get married. And he'll think of her.
"I might even put my ring on," Napper said.
But on Saturday the Silverton man found himself running out of time to pop the question.
The 45-year-old man and 22-year-old woman were technically already engaged since he had to fill out the government paperwork allowing her to travel to Oregon last Wednesday from her home in the Philippines.
In fact, they had already set their wedding date for Dec. 6 – the two-year anniversary of when they met online.
But Napper wanted to make a real proposal. And so he found himself Saturday on the beach in an area of the coast between Lincoln City and Tillamook guiding her toward Proposal Rock, where he hoped to take her to a secluded spot overlooking the ocean.Napper said he had been watching the tide and waiting for the right time to approach the landmark. And as they neared, the water started rushing over their ankles. But suddenly, within 15 feet of the rock, a sneaker wave of more than 2 feet hit them, he said.
Gone in a flash
He spread his legs for balance and leaned into the force of the wave. Seconds later, he turned and saw the 4 foot 11 inch woman reaching out for him. She didn't yell or scream, but her mouth was open.
She was already 25 to 30 feet away.
"I just couldn't get to her," he said. "She was just gone in a flash."
By the time he peeled off his coat, which was weighing him down, he could no longer see her.
As he called her name, the surf got rougher. Another man tried in vain to help in the search. Napper found one of her shoes.
He kept searching. Eventually, he was told to come back. His heart jumped when he saw a woman in a red coat on the beach, thinking it was his Leafil. But as he got closer, he realized it was just a stranger.
A few minutes after he came back to shore, someone spotted her other shoe.
"There was just nothing anybody could do," Napper said.
Rough seas hinder rescue
There were 20-foot seas that afternoon and no visibility due to fog. The Coast Guard was unable to respond from its Depoe Bay station due to the dangerous water, and a Coast Guard helicopter crew from Astoria had to turn back after repeatedly being struck by birds.
A second helicopter crew finally reached the area but had to turn back after 15 minutes due to the rough weather.
They found no sign of her.
Napper said authorities told him the water was 53 degrees that day; no one could survive those conditions for long.
And so, eventually, he had to come back to his empty Silverton home without her.
When he called her family, they thought the couple was pulling a joke on them at first.
"I wish to God it was a joke," Napper said.
Memories of her
He anguished over whether to return the cream-colored strapless wedding dress he had bought for her at Macy's the day before she disappeared. No one – not even him – got to see her in it."I knew if I just left it in the closet, it would be there forever, and I would just be living it forever," Napper said.
Napper, a professional trumpet player and substitute teacher, soon told more and more friends about his heartache.
Each time he talked about her, it got a little easier.
She was romantic and kind and wanted her own children like he did. In the Philippines, she cooked and cleaned and kept things running in the household, which included three boys and three girls, Napper said. She worked for hours at a time to help the youngest eat; the 3-year-old girl suffers from epilepsy, he said.
"She was so selfless," Napper said.
A 21st century courtship
They met on an online dating Web site – www.person.com – on Dec. 5, 2006 – (it was Dec. 6 in her timezone.)
They corresponded for 13 months before he went to visit her in January 2008 for three weeks. He tried to get her into the U.S. on a travel visa but that was rejected. And so he went ahead and started a fiancee visa, he said, which took much of this year to get processed.
In the meantime, Leafil told him she couldn't live without him and called herself Mrs. Napper.
"She kept one of my shirts and wore that thing to bed every night for months because it had my scent on it," he said.
Neither had been married before. She wanted to tie the knot before Christmas, so he figured they should do it on their anniversary. He planned a small ceremony at Silver Falls State Park by the North Falls.
Gone but not forgotten
Leafil was only in the U.S. for four days before she was swept out to sea. Tillamook County Sheriff Todd Anderson said Wednesday she is presumed drowned.
"The hardest thing for me right now is the fact that she's out there right now," Napper said.
He is hoping her remains are recovered. Authorities give him no assurances that will happen.
In the meantime, Napper has tried to move on, keeping his appointments and commitments and caring for his aging mother who lives in Salem and suffers from Parkinson's.
But the grief still weighs heavily on him.
This Saturday he plans to head to Silver Falls State Park alone. He'll stand in the very spot where they were supposed to get married. And he'll think of her.
"I might even put my ring on," Napper said.
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