$500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

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  • shosh
    Banned
    • Jun 2004
    • 4668

    $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS







    After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.

    Yes, I had perfect weather: no flooding, no tornadoes, the exact amount of rain necessary, and he pronounced sea levels exactly right and that they were not going to rise within five miles of my house.

    Additionally, my cars began achieving 200 mpg and I didn't even need gasoline. I was able to put three grams of cat litter into the tank and drive forever.

    What's more, the atmosphere inside my home became 93% oxygen and virtually no carbon dioxide. In fact, I now exhale oxygen.

    One heck of a cable.

    Didn't notice any improvement in audio quality though.

    The $800 Apple iCable is clearly superior.
    I do not expect this post to be read as I am communicating to you via telepathic interface in the year 2291.

    Moments after plugging in my freshly unboxed Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable, I found myself tumbling inside a space-time rift which has landed me 283 years in the future. There is much to be told but I haven't a lot of time, nor any tin foil. The human element is no more, only bodies connected to one another by a continuous "Denon AKDL2 Link Cable". All human consciousness, behavior and emotion is streamed to and from a central hub only known as "Paris Hilton". The scene is beyond description and I fear for my life. In fact, I am currently huddled behind a futuristic trash bin (I know it's futuristic because it is shiny silver in appearance) trying to avoid detection. Heed my warning: save your $500 USD and buy something useful like the mother-ton supply of tin foil. So far, it looks like foil is the only defense against robotic mind control and the eventual demise of a person's individualism and freedom.

    Bottom line: I guess I have to give this item a single star in my review as it is responsible for casting me into a frightening future where thought-controlling robots and Paris Hilton rule the world.
    I bought several of these and used them to string my tennis racket. I have never been beaten since. If I don't hit the ball just right on serving, they seem to simply disappear into thin air. But well hit, my top service speed has been clocked at over 3,200 mph. However, 2 weeks ago I accidently killed one my doubles opponents. It was terrible. People, please be careful with these.
    I had high hopes for this cable, but I NEVER expected that I'd be able to e-mail my DEAD FATHER! I now have unlimited access to the TRUE "Ether"net, and can communicate with the great beyond. Due to the extraordinary cable, I now know that Elvis is, in fact, still alive and works as a used tissue salesman in Topeka, I know that Ceasar is upset about the whole salad thing, and that Ghengis Kahn would rather have been remembered as the inventor of the cheese puff. The only drawback came when my dead cat Mingie tried to re-animate from the other side via the cable and now I'm stuck with a zombie cat in my CD drive. I'm open to ideas on how to get her out of there without sacrificing my brains to do so.
    For months my wife and I were trying to have a baby and we had no luck. A good friend told me about the Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable. Sure, I knew it was the best for connecting Ethernet-enabled devices such as printers but boy was I in for the surprise of my life!

    When my Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable arrived my wife and I simply removed it from the packaging and placed it on the night table. Before we knew it we were having babies like nobody's business!!!! SO MANY BABIES!!!!! 400 BABIES!!!!!!!!!
  • res0nat0r
    Someone MARRY ME!! LOL
    • May 2006
    • 14475

    #2
    Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

    Comment

    • Localizer
      Platinum Poster
      • Jul 2004
      • 2021

      #3
      Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

      5.....5$.....5$ foot longgggggg.

      5.....5$.....5$ foot longgggggg.


      [youtube]
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHIo4...eature=related[/youtube]
      Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.
      -Bertrand Russell

      Comment

      • |Thrax|
        Platinum Poster
        • Mar 2007
        • 1744

        #4
        Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

        hahahahahahahaha best laugh I had all day.

        thanks..
        This is the voice from planet love. Have no fear we are your friends. To bring peace and love to your world, we are sending you our very special agent. Her name is love love love...

        -Chris
        Myspace::Facebook:: NIGHTMOVES.ME nightlife+lifestyle photography

        Comment

        • day_for_night
          Are you Kidding me??
          • Jun 2004
          • 4127

          #5
          Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

          A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.

          I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.

          Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.
          and the first comment on the above...

          Ha, everyone knows that gold wiring is far superior to silver because gold not only has better conductivity, but ALSO never tarnishes so that the impedance matched sheathing need not be hermetically sealed - thus helping to offset the greater price of gold cabling. Also it is critical that the length of the wiring be phase matched to the upper end of your hearing range. The downside of course is that this limits the length of quality gold audio cables to about 3 cm, This minor problem can be circumvented by using true (unfolded) Klipschorn speakers enclosed in a ten Torr vacuum with the electrically driven element located very near the power amplifier and facing in opposite directions feeding into a room built in the form of a Klein bottle in order to feed the sound waves through the fourth dimension so that they are in phase when the sound reaches the listeners ears. Since some of the energy is lost to the forth dimension, a flux capacitor must be used in the final output stage of the audio amplifier to achieve the ten terawatt output needed to compensate for the loss due to passage through the fourth dimension.
          seriously, i was wipping away tears at that second bit...

          Comment

          • shosh
            Banned
            • Jun 2004
            • 4668

            #6
            Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

            I'm opening the box as we speak.

            I can see a part of the cable now....

            The thing's hollow... it goes on forever... and... oh my God! It's full of stars//////////////(((((((((((((([[[[]]]]]
            OK, for all of you complaining about the high price of this cable: you just don't get it. Sure, I could buy some five-buck cable from the computer hack store up the street or even solder a couple of wires together in my basement. That's like saying that I could baste a couple yards of fabric from Jo-Ann's together with my Singer and it would be just as good as a Prada dress. Sure, my kluged efforts would perform the function of covering my body, just like any ol' cable can transfer your data from point A to point B. But the craftsmanship, the aesthetics, the presentation of this Denon Dedicated Link Cable...the whole package makes it a work of art that only the few can fully appreciate, just like that designer original gown. With its cerulean colours and its sleek, Italian-inspired lines, I have no doubt the Denon AKDL1 will be celebrated decades down the line by the Museum of Modern Art as a masterwork of modern design.

            Plus, I heard that Jessica Simpson wore a Denon AKDL1 out to an opening night recently, just wrapped around her neck and loosely tied, and got all kinds of compliments and her picture in People Magazine. I know it's just a matter of time before every little small-town girl working at the 7-11 is swiping the cables off her geek brother's compy, spray painting 'em blue, and wearing 'em out to the mall, and then the knockoffs will start, Chinese imitations showing up at your local Claire's boutique, ugh...so buy this one now and get in on the ground floor while this fashion trend is still THE hottness. Plus, when the fashion wears off, it'll still do a helluva job of transferring those ones and zeroes to boot.

            In short, it's worth every penny and then some. I've even read some reviews suggesting that wearing this cable on your bosom daily will increase a woman's breasts by two cup sizes over time...although no one might notice if they're too busy envying your cool blue Denon AKDL1!
            You guys can laugh if you want but after submitting my order for this I was visited by Denon Agents who screened me for ownership eligibility. They first searched my house for any signs of Monster cables. I tried to convince them that all my connections were digital as in binary and I didn't feel it was needed that I pay Monster's outrageous prices. I explained that I felt that Denon's pricing must be fair since they really cater to the very selective. I mean, looking at their receiver lineup they have like 95 variations on the same model of receiver which are differentiated by such subtleties as the distance between volume gradations. See, this is a cable for the truly discriminating. In the end, I just couldn't pass muster and the Denon Agents left with a look of both pity and contempt. Oh well, I guess there's always Monoprice
            ...

            Comment

            • i!!ustrious
              I got some N64 Games Yo!!
              • Mar 2008
              • 12308

              #7
              Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

              roflcopters all over the place.

              epic creativity at it's finest.
              (((( }-d|-__-|b-{ ))))

              Comment

              • res0nat0r
                Someone MARRY ME!! LOL
                • May 2006
                • 14475

                #8
                Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

                damn these are great.

                Comment

                • Huggie Smiles
                  Anyone have Styx livesets?
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 11836

                  #9
                  Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

                  and ti dates back ages too!@

                  "
                  I have got to tell you, this cable really surprised me. The sound quality is truly amazing.

                  You should have heard the amazing ultra-low frequency rumble and high frequency scream that was emmitted from my ex-girlfriend when she found out that I jacked her PayPal account and ordered 2 of these for her next door neighbor.
                  "
                  ....Freak in the morning, Freak in the evening, aint no other Freak like me thats breathing....




                  Comment

                  • heretic
                    Addiction started
                    • Jun 2004
                    • 325

                    #10
                    Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

                    the interwebs at its best..excellent comments indeed
                    I was in coma.

                    Comment

                    • res0nat0r
                      Someone MARRY ME!! LOL
                      • May 2006
                      • 14475

                      #11
                      Re: $500 5ft long Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable REVIEWS

                      look a the uploaded pics for the product.

                      Gold < Denon Cable

                      Comment

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