Liberals Return to Sodomy, Welfare Fraud

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  • toasty
    Sir Toastiness
    • Jun 2004
    • 6585
    #1

    Liberals Return to Sodomy, Welfare Fraud

    Another from the Onion. Their writers are fucking brilliant...

    Biden Campaign Gets Kamala Harris Quickly Up To Speed On Candidate’s Plans For Presidential Funeral Service
    http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4045&nib=2
    WASHINGTON—Filling in the new vice-presidential pick on all of the arrangements that will need to be made ahead of the ceremony, the Joe Biden presidential campaign reportedly got Kamala Harris quickly up to speed Wednesday on the candidate’s plans for his presidential funeral service. “So, I want to do a viewing in the Capitol building obviously, and then after that, I want to be taken to Delaware for my burial following a livestream service at St. Joseph’s,” said Biden to the California senator, explaining what type of casket exterior finish he wanted as one of his aides handed her a folder containing information about the catering and floral arrangements, as well as the eulogy bullet points. “Here are the Bible verses I want to have read, along with a seating chart. We’re still hashing out the list of speakers, but we’ll definitely have you, Barack, and Jill offer remarks, and then we’ll end the ceremony with the orchestra playing ‘Danny Boy.’” At press time, Harris was accompanying Biden as he scoped out potential burial sites in Wilmington.


    Liberals Return to Sodomy, Welfare Fraud
    BERKELEY, CA?No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.
    Tags: None
    • asdf_admin
      i use to be important
      • Jun 2004
      • 12798
      #2
      rofl.

      once again. never fails.
      dead, yet alive.

        Comment

        • Jenks
          I'm kind of a big deal.
          • Jun 2004
          • 10250
          #3
          HAHA.

          QUALITY.

            Comment

            • Civic_Zen
              Platinum Poster
              • Jun 2004
              • 1116
              #4
              That is just hilarious toast. Thanks for the laugh.
              "The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws." - Tacitus (55-117 A.D.)
              "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."
              - Thomas Jefferson

                Comment

                • timkell
                  Getting Somewhere
                  • Jun 2004
                  • 152
                  #5
                  Re: Liberals Return to Sodomy, Welfare Fraud

                  Originally posted by toasty
                  Another from the Onion. Their writers are fucking brilliant...

                  Biden Campaign Gets Kamala Harris Quickly Up To Speed On Candidate’s Plans For Presidential Funeral Service
                  http://www.theonion.com/nib/index.php?issue=4045&nib=2
                  WASHINGTON—Filling in the new vice-presidential pick on all of the arrangements that will need to be made ahead of the ceremony, the Joe Biden presidential campaign reportedly got Kamala Harris quickly up to speed Wednesday on the candidate’s plans for his presidential funeral service. “So, I want to do a viewing in the Capitol building obviously, and then after that, I want to be taken to Delaware for my burial following a livestream service at St. Joseph’s,” said Biden to the California senator, explaining what type of casket exterior finish he wanted as one of his aides handed her a folder containing information about the catering and floral arrangements, as well as the eulogy bullet points. “Here are the Bible verses I want to have read, along with a seating chart. We’re still hashing out the list of speakers, but we’ll definitely have you, Barack, and Jill offer remarks, and then we’ll end the ceremony with the orchestra playing ‘Danny Boy.’” At press time, Harris was accompanying Biden as he scoped out potential burial sites in Wilmington.


                  Liberals Return to Sodomy, Welfare Fraud
                  BERKELEY, CA?No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.
                  More right wing propoganda!
                  FunkyCozy
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                  Every Last Saturday of the Month
                  Residents: Jonathan Beech, Sinukus, Tim McCormack
                  Next Cozy: Saturday, October 28
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                  with guests Alland Byallo (Liebe Detail) and Craig Kuna
                  Wear a costume!

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