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Re: what state of mind...
fuck Jamey that just kills me to read this man 
first of all, thank you to everyone for your thoughts and support!
secondly, the reasons for my post was b/c i'm frustrustrated on a few levels. i haven't worked on a film in new orleans since july due to several circumstances completely out of my hands. b/c of that i've been driving back to the town i grewup in which is 3 hrs from nola ( new orleans ) to work with my dad whose a plumbing contractor. so basically i've been living there in order to pay rent in nola. on top of that, i don't have many really close friends there anymore plus there is absolutley nothing to do there. so i work and then shut myself up in my room doing nothing. also, b/c money has been very tight so i really couldn't afford to do anything anyway. on top of that, my mother and i have a rocky relationship at best and coupled with the fact that b/c of a cronic back problem for the last 20+ yrs, she's an even harder person to get along with. and over the last few yrs she's become increasingly hard on my father which adds to my frustration as well as makes everything in the house more of a headache! so i basically drive back and forth to nola every weekend just to sleep in my own bed and have a little time to myself.
all of this has led to me drinking a lot more on weekends than usual. for the last few months it seems like i've been drunk one half of the weekend and hungover the other half.
add all of that to the fact that i'm 33 and since i was 16 i've buried close to 20 friends! THAT'S JUST FUCKED!!! it's just hard to understand and make any sense of things.
add all of those ingredient together and pour in a large dose of alcohol and i couldn't sleep b/c my head wouldn't shut off and i just needed to vent. i didn't have anybody to talk to and that's why i posted here. the best thing about this board is that there are all these differing points of view and experiences and everybody is willing to share a piece of themselves for the help of others here.
thirdly, just as i just now stated, different things work for different people! so scifi pi and shpira thank you both for your thoughts, but please understand there is no absolute right answer to life. both of you have good thoughts on it, and age hasn't got much to do with it. many times in my life i've taken a step back to reevalute my life. and it's something that's worked for me.
fourthly, i've just started a workout program that is adding a lot of structure to my life at the moment and i've always liked exercising as a way to release stress. and that will cut back my boozin to a much better level. this past weekend was Mardi Gras so i knew i'd be hitting the sauce pretty hard. just wait til you see the pics and video's that clintlove will post!
lastly, please understand that i'm not in danger of doing something stupid! i just needed to vent and i did. it felt good to say something. so again thanks for all the thoughts, esp. kamal and steve for the texts. i'm glad more and more that clint and i crashed the p-cola meetup!
best wishes and much respect to the people of Mercury Server!!!
Jamey
secondly, the reasons for my post was b/c i'm frustrustrated on a few levels. i haven't worked on a film in new orleans since july due to several circumstances completely out of my hands. b/c of that i've been driving back to the town i grewup in which is 3 hrs from nola ( new orleans ) to work with my dad whose a plumbing contractor. so basically i've been living there in order to pay rent in nola. on top of that, i don't have many really close friends there anymore plus there is absolutley nothing to do there. so i work and then shut myself up in my room doing nothing. also, b/c money has been very tight so i really couldn't afford to do anything anyway. on top of that, my mother and i have a rocky relationship at best and coupled with the fact that b/c of a cronic back problem for the last 20+ yrs, she's an even harder person to get along with. and over the last few yrs she's become increasingly hard on my father which adds to my frustration as well as makes everything in the house more of a headache! so i basically drive back and forth to nola every weekend just to sleep in my own bed and have a little time to myself.
all of this has led to me drinking a lot more on weekends than usual. for the last few months it seems like i've been drunk one half of the weekend and hungover the other half.
add all of that to the fact that i'm 33 and since i was 16 i've buried close to 20 friends! THAT'S JUST FUCKED!!! it's just hard to understand and make any sense of things.
add all of those ingredient together and pour in a large dose of alcohol and i couldn't sleep b/c my head wouldn't shut off and i just needed to vent. i didn't have anybody to talk to and that's why i posted here. the best thing about this board is that there are all these differing points of view and experiences and everybody is willing to share a piece of themselves for the help of others here.
thirdly, just as i just now stated, different things work for different people! so scifi pi and shpira thank you both for your thoughts, but please understand there is no absolute right answer to life. both of you have good thoughts on it, and age hasn't got much to do with it. many times in my life i've taken a step back to reevalute my life. and it's something that's worked for me.
fourthly, i've just started a workout program that is adding a lot of structure to my life at the moment and i've always liked exercising as a way to release stress. and that will cut back my boozin to a much better level. this past weekend was Mardi Gras so i knew i'd be hitting the sauce pretty hard. just wait til you see the pics and video's that clintlove will post!
lastly, please understand that i'm not in danger of doing something stupid! i just needed to vent and i did. it felt good to say something. so again thanks for all the thoughts, esp. kamal and steve for the texts. i'm glad more and more that clint and i crashed the p-cola meetup!
best wishes and much respect to the people of Mercury Server!!!
Jamey
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