Facts about Chuck Norris

[rainman]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

my favs -

chuck norris once shot down a german airplane by simply pointing his finger at it and yelling bang.

when chuck norris jumps into a pool he doesnt get wet, the pool gets chuck norris.

[floridaorange]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

^lol @ the 2nd one, good sh*t

18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection. contra?

[i!!ustrious]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

chuck norris and vin diesel facts are so old and butchered, that i came with reminiscing joy.

[fletcher]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad

Gold

[Mariner1]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris


I am disappointed that this thread had to continue past a single page. Really? Chuck Norris? Again? Wasn't that....over four years ago???

[floridaorange]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

[Mariner1]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once told Chuck Norris a Chuck Norris joke. But Chuck Norris didn't laugh. Because Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny.

[DIDI]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

You can leave now if you want Just for that!!

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA".

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

Biologically, Chuck Norris is his own step-father.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn't work, he plays zombie.

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse Kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.


Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for super strength roundhouse ability.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A ducks quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at you grimly.


Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful; it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.



Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before they could tell him there was a stripper in it.



In a recent interview, Chuck Norris told Entertainment Tonight that his most memorable role was when he played the third breast on the hooker in Total Recall.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poops them out transformed into a robot.

In one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Chuck Norris yelled over the roar of the flames, "always leave things the way you found e”

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the blue ringed octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following
symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and then feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's father.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation Chuck Norris can be seen powering the USS enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks

Chuck Norris was once asked to recommend a club to which he replied 'I am a club' and everyone partied on him... Until he roundhouse kicked them all because someone spilt his beer.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


___________________

[Haziel]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

[i!!ustrious]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris blows bubbles with beef jerkey.

[Huggie Smiles]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

Lucky Charms can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA".
_

so that's why he has so much time to play his n64 games

[i!!ustrious]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

^ edit: I can blow bubbles with beef jerkey.

---

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

Vin Diesel played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

[Haziel]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

some facts by the man himself

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6UdFshe6JA[/YOUTUBE]

[Corven]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

[Dhar_2]

Re: Facts about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.