Better than fmylife

[Funky Dredd]

Re: Better than fmylife

(604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

[i!!ustrious]

Re: Better than fmylife

^ lol

(902): Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

wow

(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

this

[floridaorange]

Re: Better than fmylife

^so true, lol...that game is infuriating to get beat at for whatever reason nice find

[Michael^Heaven]

Re:

(706): Did we have sex last night?
(1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

(314): I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
(505): The responsible thing...show them the break room.

[RiseandShine]

Re: Better than fmylife

(310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

[Homegrove]

Re: Better than fmylife

(802): does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
(1-802): actually, i try not to think about it
(802): and i pooped them out

That's just cold.

(406): Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.

(563): you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

She's definitely hot in the Angelina Jolie-scale.

[Homegrove]

Re: Better than fmylife

(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
(1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

[Funky Dredd]

Re: Better than fmylife

^^ wow!

[lilsensa]

Re: Better than fmylife

(612): Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
(763): is that a poem?!

and.........

(520): she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.

[day_for_night]

Re: Better than fmylife

i don't know why i found this epicly funny. but i did

(612): Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

[Funky Dredd]

Re: Better than fmylife

(909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

(215): It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
(610): Wrong number and your a loser

[Homegrove]

Re: Better than fmylife

(512): I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

[nick007]

Re: Better than fmylife

[Bender420]

Re: Better than fmylife

(513): i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later

[Bender420]

Re: Better than fmylife

(480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.