Help!!!!!!!!

[pipey]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

cheers dhar = you are usually trollingthe boards at this time looking out for me lol - it will be fine! the thing is, i have already live through the "her not being here" part, so its not like the impact of that is that hard tonight, but its just the annoyance and to be honest, sometimes i think shes being really selfish - but mind you, so am i too i guess... who knows, its in the hands of the creator and all i can do is hurry up and wait to be honest, again... except this time my stash is empty

[dusk]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear this pipey.. unfortunately it sounds like theres a lot of this 'going back and forth' business that you have to look forward too unless you can settle for being together but not living together.

[Dhar_2]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

just take it easy pipey!

its never gonna be easy. thats why its so important. very little in life thats worth something comes easy.

i'm glad to hear you feel prepared. the road may be rough, but we are here if u need us.

dont be disheartened. remember you are strong in yourself and that you can stand on your own two feet. the beauty of a relationship is that we have someone to stand beside us, and that you both bring something back to relationship. she needs time to feel independant and you too must take steps to rediscover yourself in this time. if all goes well you will both be able to to return to each other with renewed vigor.

take care

[floridaorange]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

hate to be the devils advocate here, but she probably wants to stay engaged get married, etc, she just doesn't feel like living with you. Its tough living together before marriage...I think marriage kind of seals the deal, although it will never be easy, relationships take work and sometimes us men are good at sitting back and not putting in the effort. At least you both know you want to be together, focus on that, because there are a lot of people (on ms included) that don't have anyone at all.

[DancingQueen]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear things are back where they started
Like Dhar said, give her the time and the space and hopefully she will sort it out before she causes you too much heartache.

Hang in there pipey *hug*

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

^^^ Not quite, they are better. They have clarified that she still wants to see him !!

I don't believe I could add to what Dhar said .

dont be disheartened. remember you are strong in yourself and that you can stand on your own two feet. the beauty of a relationship is that we have someone to stand beside us, and that you both bring something back to relationship. she needs time to feel independant and you too must take steps to rediscover yourself in this time. if all goes well you will both be able to to return to each other with renewed vigor.

Perfect.

[Shpira]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Hmmm...just read the whole thread for the first time. IMO you seem like a nice guy and I think you're under-selling yourself. Has she stopped to think how this is making you feel? I mean you are engaged and she moves out??? What the fuck is that? If a girl does that is it not natural to assume she has second thoughts? Honestly IMO you need to have a face to face conversation to establish what it is you each want in life and if your aspirations are compatible...if not - wish each other all the best or be prepared for some seriously hard work.

Its all good and well to give her time to think things through bla...bla but MAN you guys have been together for 5 years! I don't presume to know whats going through her head but the whole thing is pretty messed up.

p.s. unless there is something about you that pisses her off...like do your feet smell?

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

^^^ it's probably that she has never been out in the big wide world alone. If he lets her go and try it she will probably realise all the good things she has.

[floridaorange]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

There are more good women out there than good guys...

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

^^^ ????

[floridaorange]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Posted before I had a chance to understand what you meant. Your fast! (plus I'm enjoying a few sips of 16 yr old glenfiddich)

[DIDI]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Enjoy !!


just sitting having lunch

[floridaorange]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

thanks, 11pm here, about to go to bed, lol

[threehills]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

I know you love her and want her with you, but she's acting like a child. Just tell her to speak what's on her mind and stop expecting you to read it. That's what adults in a mature relationship do, they talk. They don't mope around in a huff, move out (throw a tantrum). The pretend to be adults and talk about whats bothering them. You work it out and thus develop a deeper understanding of your partner and you grow together. If she needs some time to collect her thoughts, fine, but a week is more than enough time to at least let you in on whats eating at her. a little peak at least, an attempt at mature open dialogue.

Thats why I love my wife. She's good at it. We always talk it out...sometimes yell and shout it out...but we cool off and come back to it, an hour and a day at a time and work it out eventually and love each other the more for it.

[feather]

Re: Help!!!!!!!!

Has she told you why she doesn't want to live with you? Is she under the influence of some well meaning friends who've suggested she live alone and keep her own life?