MJ jokes ... too soon?

**fletcher** · June 26, 2009, 03:43:03 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

Had a LOAD of jokes today, both txt and e-mail.

I wouldnt say its too soon. They have to be quick to be topical, then its move onto the next thing...

**fyrestarter** · June 26, 2009, 03:57:13 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

An autopsy will be peformed today to determine which was the cause of death:
A) Sunshine
B) Moonlight
C) Good Times
D) Boogie

**tiddles** · June 26, 2009, 04:03:07 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

what's the difference between neil armstrong and MJ?

armstrong walked on the moon, MJ just fucks little boys

**fyrestarter** · June 26, 2009, 04:05:16 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

As a result of MJ's death, his London tour dates have naturally been cancelled.
They were James (9) and Timothy (11).

**unrecogniseduser** · June 26, 2009, 04:06:30 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

Saw this list on the football forum I post on.....not my jokes.....

...here is what we have so far, I am fairly confident that there may be more to come!

1) Michael Jackson didn�t die of a heart attack like first was reported , he was in fact found in a children�s hospital having a stroke.

2) Jackson hasn�t been this stiff since Mackuley Caulkin stayed over.

3) What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson? Fergie will be playing Giggs in August.

4) Apparently Jacko died of an allergic reaction to 12 year old nuts.

5) Jacko�s family have asked the funeral parlour if they accept plastic.

6) Medics have confirmed it was not skin cancer...sooooo...."Don't blame it on the sunshine......"

7) Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated but recycled into shopping bags so he can remain white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.

Jackson�s ghost has been sighted in a children�s hospital...........looks like he is still trying to put the willies up young children.

9) Gary Glitter has launched a sensational world record bid for Michael Jackson's computer.

10) What�s the difference between Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett? About three hours.

11) To commemorate Michael Jackson�s musical achievements, McDonalds are to release a McJackson Burger, it is 50 piece of meat shoved between two eight year old buns.

12) As Michael Jackson is 99% plastic, his body will be melted down and made in to Lego. That way kids can play with him for a change.

13) The problem now is an environmental one, if they cremate him, too much plastic toxic gases and if he's buried the bleach will kill the grass.

14) Apparently his condition was hereditary, it was in his Billie Genes.

15) Jacko has asked his ashes to be scattered across a sandpit so kids can play with him forever.

16) What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the 1st man to walk on the moon - Michael jackson rapes kids.

17) Jockey's at tomorrows race meeting will wear black armbands in memory of Michael Jackson who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone else in history.

1

Farrah Fawcett died and on entering heaven was asked by God if there was anything that he could help with. She thought for a moment, and deciding that she was happy and contented with her own life, asked that God make sure all of the children on Earth were safe and well. God though for three hours.....

19) Do we say Michael Jackson is brown bread, white bread or best of both?

20) What is the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson? One fvcked Majors, the other fvcked Minors.

21) Apparently Jackos heart attck was brought on by a phonecall off Rolf Harris asking him if he wanted to do 2 little boys with him!

22) Wanted - Good home for abandoned monkey... Very friendly... likes being W**ked off with a white glove.

23) Gary Glitter has applied to have custody of his 3 kids and Madonna has asked for first refusal on the monkey.

24) It was touch and go at the hospital, and that was just in the Children's Ward.

25) Michael Jackson suffered a heart attack after tripping over a pram.
Police have said "we can't blame it on the sunshine" "we cant blame it on the moonlight", So we'l blame it on the Buggy.

26) Whilst trying to revive Jackons heart, the paramedics assistant suggested to his collegue to �Just beat it�.

27) When asked what colour coffin they�d like Michael to be placed in, his brothers said �It don�t matter if it�s black or white�.

2

Micheal Jackson Died At 3.15 What A Coinserdance The Big Hand Was Touching The Little Hand.

29) Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and George Best? Nothing they�re both dead. Whats the similarity between Michael Jackson and George Best? Neither of them will decompose.

30) Apparently Michael Jackson is not going to be buried or cremated. In his will he said he wants to be made into curry and fed to a bunch of his favourite 10 year olds. He just wanted to slip out of their asses one last time.

31) His death is under great speculation. My theory; Hes been hit by. Hes been struck by a smooth criminal.

32) its not all bad jacko is dead. hes goin 2 be melted dwn and made into a slide. that way kids will actually enjoy goin dnw on him.

33) did you hear michael jackson now likes girls more than boys? he�s pushing up daisy's instead of pushing up david's.

34) Rumor has it Jacko wants to be buried at sea and strapped to a couple of buoys.

35) Michael Jacksons tour promoters have announced the cancellation of his UK dates: Johnny, 7, Tim, 6 and Chris, 3.

36) Atleast one good thing has come out of michael jacksons death they say his body is 80 percent plastic and 20 percent wax this means they can just send his corpse straight to madam tussauds.

37) michael jackson as asked to be cremated and his ashes put in an etch and sketch so that kids can still play with his knob.

3

Michael Jackson died of shock after finding out Boyz II Men was a band not a delivery service.

39) Poor Baby P he thought he was finally safe!

40) It doesn't matter if your black or white, but when your blue you know you're fvcked.

I SHALL KEEP UPDATING THE LIST WITH ANY I SEE ON HERE OR ELSEWHERE

**fyrestarter** · June 26, 2009, 04:12:17 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

Michael Jackson: proof that a poor black man can die a rich white woman.

On a scale of 1-10, how old do you think MJ's last lover was?

Now we know what makes MJ stiff: cardiac arrests and little kids.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney movies?
Disney movies can still touch little kids.

**i!!ustrious** · June 26, 2009, 04:26:10 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

It's a shame Jackson died before he could release his new book: The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing

**|Thrax|** · June 26, 2009, 05:22:21 PM

Re: MJ jokes ... too soon?

Similar joke I wrote in my head.. as I was trying to fall asleep.

Farrah Fawcett, the iconic fantasy of every little boy. Passed away today. Tragically, we also lost Michael Jackson, who ironically fantasised about every little boy.